


I'll Never Let You Break: A Heart Without Color

by Vertigox2Vertigo (orphan_account)



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Additional Tags to Be Added, Alternate Canon - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-typical language, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, F/M, Headcanon, Idk what i'm doing, Nuka World - possible spoilers for it and quests, Plot, Slow Burn, Spoiler Warning: Post-Blind Betrayal, Tags are frustrating, is that even necessary anymore?, love triangle?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2019-07-29 16:08:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 46
Words: 83,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16267670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Vertigox2Vertigo
Summary: This is my first attempt at a fanfic, and I'll do my best to make it entertaining ~Ellis Mitchell isn't Nate's first wife. She isn't even his first priority. Love doesn't seem to be in the cards for her, and the family she'd wanted to be a part of wasn't working out the way she'd hoped.Nate lost the love of his life and remarried for the sake of his baby boy, only to have everything taken away at the drop of a nuclear bomb. A new world could bring a new life and a new love, if he could get his head out of the past and realize what he has to lose.Danse has been through hell, but he's decided to make the best of this new experience the world has thrust him into. With fresh eyes and a shifted mindset, he's ready to accept the love he'd forbid himself from having before his world had been turned upside down. He may have found it... in the inconvenient and totally inappropriate form of his best friend's wife.





	1. Chapter 1

"Hey! Nate's back!"

Ellis Mitchell looked up from the mutfruit tree she was picking, her eyes floating toward the bridge that connected sanctuary to the mainland, as several settlers trotted off to welcome the man they deemed as their savior.

Two tall and muscular, male silhouettes moved against the pink-orange sky, the rays of the setting sun cast all around them in a halo, but she didn't need to see either of their faces to know that one of them was indeed Nate.

Despite Nate's ever-present confident swagger, it was clear by the slow speed of their gaits that both men were exhausted, yet still wary for trouble - as they carried their weapons at the ready, even as the settlers met them with smiling faces and friendly greetings.

Ellis put the last of the heavy, purple-blue fruit into the basket she was carrying and turned back toward the little house behind her. It was on the east side of the circle - the closest home to the water - and had been built using every scrap of wood she'd found, after Nate had left her there to go out searching for Shaun.

In fact, she'd just finished adding the last room the prior week.

It seemed to have all started so long ago - waking up on the cold floor of Vault 111, Nate and his robot friend Curie hovering over her and asking her how she felt; meeting Preston Garvey and his group in the old neighborhood; learning that 210 years had passed since the bombs had fallen; Nate rushing off to find a missing detective, leaving her alone to help the Minutemen, and thus beginning her new life as the Minutemen's agent - though in reality, it had only been three months past.

She hadn't seen Nate much after that. He stopped by every couple weeks to drop off scrap or gear, and talk to Preston about how things were going, before taking off again. He didn't seem all that interested in aiding the Minutemen, and it was beyond Ellis as to why the settlers all adored Nate the way they did. Sure, they'd heard of his exploits in Concord, saving Garvey's group from raiders and killing a Deathclaw, but he was never around to help defend settlements, or take care of their problems.

That's what he left Ellis there for... but no one seemed to care about that. She was invisible, _as usual_.

Maybe she should be more upset that Nate rarely visited. After all, he was her husband. But the truth was, Ellis didn't much care whether or not she ever saw him again. Or at least, that's what she told herself.

It wasn't that Nate was a bad man, or a lousy husband. He was adequate enough, as far as being generous and considerate went. Yet... well, he just wasn't over the grief of losing Nora, and probably never would be, but she couldn't blame him for it. The pretty little blonde had been the light of his life, and her death in childbirth had left him reeling and broken. He'd married Ellis not long after, simply for the appearance of a happy little family as he trudged off to whatever mission he was given next, though it was mostly so Shaun would have a mother.

Not that Ellis thought she would even make a good mother. Kids weren't her area of expertise - not like Nora. She'd been a brilliant lawyer, with a big brain and a bigger heart.

And Ellis? She couldn't compare to that. All she knew was taking lives, not saving them; sure, she kept settlers alive by taking the lives of people that intended to do them harm, but that didn't change the fact that she was still a murderer. It was what she was good at. Always had been, always would be.

She and Nate weren't close. Hell, they barely knew one another, and that only through Nora in the first place.

As a witness in one of Nora's cases, Ellis had been sitting in the waiting room of the law office, waiting on her meeting with the attorney, when a handsome officer had swaggered in asking to see the woman. Told she was unavailable, he'd been directed to have a seat, and it was shortly after that he'd struck up a conversation with Ellis, after catching sight of the tattoo on the inside of her wrist: crosshairs of a rifle scope, with a skull at dead center.

"You like guns?" his tone clearly broadcasting his surprise.

She'd chuckled at the understatement. "Who doesn't?"

"My wife, for one."

He'd told her then, who he was, and they'd chatted briefly about his rank and how he was taking a little time off between missions while they started a family - Nora's due date not far away. Ellis had neglected - nay, avoided - telling him much about herself back then, except that she was new to the area because of work. It wasn't until after Nora's death that they'd run into one another again at a bar - Nate there to drown his sorrows, and her the sucker offering him a shoulder.

Ellis entered the house to put the fresh fruit on the table next to the sink, and went to the pot that was heating on the stove, stirring the contents. It was nearly ready, and she imagined Nate wouldn't mind having a hot meal.

She didn't know if it was coincidence, fate, or something else that had put her at that bar that night. A month later, she and Nate had said "I do" at the church in Concord, and her entire life suddenly changed.

None of it had been part of even her wildest dream, but she'd had hope that, eventually, a life with Nate would be something more than just marital duty and family obligations.

It wasn't turning out that way, and it didn't seem to matter to him.

"There you are," Nate said as he stepped inside the house and found her pulling dishes off a shelf.

Ellis turned to set the table and looked over at him. "Just until morning."

His brow furrowed as he let his pack slip from his shoulder and set it on the floor near the door. "Where are you off to?"

"Raiders have been spotted up near Coastal Cottage. Preston wants me to make sure they won't be bothering anyone."

He watched her set plates in front of two chairs before asking her to add a third. When she glanced up at him questioningly, he said, "Danse will be staying in Sanctuary for the foreseeable future."

Ellis tensed at hearing the name.

"Oh? And he's... okay with that?"

She didn't know him well - at all, to be accurate - but his distaste for anything not fully human had been made very clear to everyone the last time he'd accompanied Nate through the area. They had already butted heads once before over the way he had treated some of the ghoul residents, and Ellis wasn't keen on doing it again. She certainly didn't relish the thought of having to play mediator every time he opened his mouth and let Brotherhood dogma spill out.

Not that she was afraid of him. There was no reason to be. Even if being frozen for over two hundred years had dulled her survival instinct and combat skills - which it most definitely had not - Ellis knew that, despite Danse's shameless displays of bigotry, the man was an honorable soldier. He wouldn't attack her, or any of the inhabitants, without good cause, no matter how much he detested being in their presence.

God forbid he learn that a couple of the newest settlers were synths. The man might go off like a Fat Man.

Still, she had a hard time believing the Brotherhood Paladin would willingly submit himself to being a resident, temporary or otherwise, given the amount of ghoul settlers that called the place home.

"He's... had a bit of an eye-opener recently," Nate replied just before the other man knocked on the doorway, and he ushered the paladin inside.

Ellis's curiosity rose at the hint of sarcastic implication behind the words, but she didn't press the matter.

"Mrs. Mitchell," Danse gave her a little nod as their eyes met. "I hope you don't mind my intrusion. Nate said it wouldn't be a problem to stay here for a while."

 _Did he, now?_ Ellis glanced over at Nate before replying but he was avoiding her. He knew her opinions of the Brotherhood soldier, and yet he wanted her to play hostess to the man?

"Call me Ellis, please." Mostly because being addressed as Nate's wife was uncomfortable, to say the least.

The men went to wash up as she finished setting food on the table.

It was going to be a long night.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Ellis woke up next to the warm body of her husband, his heavy arm draped over her as he snored softly. Easing from under the covers, she headed for the bathroom, doing her best to concentrate on the job ahead of her and not on the memory of Nate calling out Nora's name in his sleep. 

Or the fact that he still hadn't bothered to give Ellis back the wedding ring he'd taken from her finger the day he'd escaped the Vault cryo pod.

Part of her argued that it didn't matter. He'd thought she was dead, and it wasn't as if they were in love when the bombs fell. Maybe it had just slipped his mind. Maybe he didn't even have the ring anymore. He could have lost it... or sold it.

Yet the little monster of need kept whispering in the back of her mind that, regardless of the lack of love between them, they were still married, for better or worse, until death, and she ought to have a symbol of that commitment for others to see.

She wasn't dead, thanks to Curie, and Nate didn't seem to mind relying on her, or keeping her around, though thinking of Ellis as his wife was apparently an unattainable feat. She told herself it was fine, that she didn't need the acknowledgement from him. It was impractical to think that he'd fall in love with her when the ground hadn't even settled around his first wife's coffin.

Well, it probably was by now, but in his mind, Nora had been gone less than a year now, and he was incapable of letting that go.

Besides, Ellis wasn't the type of woman that filled a man's mind with thoughts of marriage, babies and happy family celebrations. She wasn't the sit-at-home-and-knit-lace-doilies kind of girl, and never would be. Her idea of a match made in heaven was having someone at her side to tell her what direction the wind was blowing in and how fast it was moving, while she adjusted the sights of her rifle and took aim at her next target.

Not the poster child of a man's fantasy at all, she was sure.

And she certainly shouldn't be upset about Nate's feelings. They had great sex, and he didn't seem to be interested in replacing her. Love wasn't the only requirement for a good marriage. Right?

Showered and dressed, Ellis was already in the kitchen pouring coffee into a beat up mug when she heard bare feet padding across the floor behind her.

"Could I get a cup of that?" Danse's voice was gritty with sleep, and as she turned to hand him the mug she'd just filled, her gaze drifted over him and the sight sent a tingle down her spine. "Thank you," he said, and she gave a small nod.

Ellis made sure to release the cup before their fingers touched. "Not a problem." 

His hair was ruffled from fighting with a pillow, his eyes partly hooded against the bright light of the morning sun that streamed through the windows, the pupils shrinking to leave the irises twinkling in hues of cinnamon and nutmeg.

She should not be noticing that, she told herself, but her eyes dropped lower.

The white tee shirt over his chest did nothing to hide the splattering of dark hair beneath, nor the trail of the same that ran downward, or the muscles that helped define it all.

 _Fuuuuck_ , she really shouldn't be noticing that, and she told herself that ogling him was not only disrespectful to him, but to Nate as well.

She yanked her eyes away and turned back to fill another mug, thankful that Danse was too busy swallowing a gulp of the hot brew to notice her staring.

"Nate told me you're leaving today for the coast," he began as he pulled a chair away from the table and sat down.

"Raiders harassing one of the settlements," she explained as she reached for a pan and pulled eggs from a fabric basket that Mama Murphy had woven.

She could feel his eyes on her as she cleaned the eggs with water and then cracked them open into a bowl to whisk them with a fork before pouring them into the now warm pan, and her skin prickled under the inspection, though she had no idea what he was thinking.

"Could I go with you?" he asked a couple minutes later.

Ellis turned her head to look over at him. "You're not leaving with Nate?"

The paladin shook his dark head, his eyes dropping to the tabletop as he nervously fingered at a fork there. "Not for a while."

She didn't even bother to ask him if he was hungry, just slid an omelet onto a clean plate and sat it down in front of him, dropping a couple slices of toast on a smaller dish and putting it nearby.

"Did you two get into an argument or something?"

His head shook again. "Nothing like that. It's... personal."

"All right. I won't try to force an explanation out of you." She picked a chair as far from him as she could get, and sat down. "You can accompany me if you want to, but I'm warning you right now... A lot of the Minutemen settlements have ghoul residents, and some - I won't ever say which - do have synth settlers as well, so if you want to hang with me, keep your mouth shut."

His eyes lifted to hers, part shock, part wonder, and he just stared at her a moment before asking, "You don't care that they aren't human?"

Her jaw ticked. "That's exactly the kind of crap you need to refrain from saying. They _are_ human, Danse. Just because ghouls look differently and synths came into existence in a different way, doesn't mean they aren't human and don't deserve to live. You're an intelligent guy, and if you didn't have your head shoved so far up your Elder's ass, maybe you'd see that for yourself."

He didn't argue, which surprised her. She expected him to go off on a rant, but he just let his eyes fall to his plate and took a bite of his breakfast. She waited a few heartbeats and did the same.

"Ellis?" Danse shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

"Yeah?" She hesitantly looked up from her food, fork paused in mid air.

"I'm...," he sighed and met her gaze. "I'm sorry. I won't insult them again."

She was floored to say the least. Whatever the reason behind this "eye opener", as Nate called it, truly seemed to have shifted his view, and she half expected the world to end right there.

"Then you're welcome to join me for as long as it benefits us both," she said. "But you follow my lead. We do things my way, or you come back to Sanctuary alone and wait for Nate."

"Understood," his eyes seemed a bit less sad now, and he even managed to offer a lopsided, if weak, grin. "I promise I won't be a burden."

_Yeah, we'll see about that._

Her hopes of Danse being a worthy partner were low at best, and she wondered why the hell she'd agreed to this in the first place. It wasn't as if she'd needed assistance in the past. Most of her work had been completed with carefully placed and perfectly timed shots so far away from her enemies, that they had no idea who was picking them off, and most were dead by the time anyone figured it out. But she could see the advantage having Danse with her might provide. He could watch her back while she worked, make sure no one snuck up on her while her focus was elsewhere. And if she did happen to run into trouble, having a second gun wouldn't hurt.

"Pack light, then," she told him. "I'm leaving in an hour and I don't want to be slowed down because you're hauling a bunch of junk."

The look on his face relayed his annoyance, so a reply was unnecessary, but he apparently felt the need to set her straight. "A good soldier is always prepared," he grumbled, "and I've never carried anything that wasn't necessary to my mission."

"Good to know," she said as she moved to rinse off her dishes. "But just so we're clear. This team-up, or whatever it is, only happens if you get rid of the laser rifle. I don't need the enemy finding me because your weapon telegraphs my location like a lighthouse beacon."

"That's... actually not a bad idea."

"Terrific," she said before draining her mug and setting it in the sink. "Meet me by the bridge when you're ready," and she left him to get dressed and retrieve his things.

 


	3. Chapter 3

When Danse informed Nate of his intention to travel with Ellis to Coastal Cottage, her husband had been less than supportive of his so-called friend. In fact, he'd yanked Danse out of the house and around the corner, and railed at him about how going out there was foolhardy and tantamount to suicide.

"Do you have a death wish?" she overheard Nate thunder at him as she stood in the kitchen sliding some food in her pack. Curiosity made her move to the wall next to the window and peek out around the frame. 

Danse, to his credit, hadn't yelled back, nor did he shrink under Nate's stern gaze the way she'd seen many of his subordinates do before the bombs had fallen. "That's not a fair question."

"Fair? Nothing about this is fair, Danse, but stop and think for a goddamn minute about what the consequences will be if you're seen!"

Ellis didn't care much at that point that eavesdropping on their conversation was selfish and impolite. What concerned her more was who Danse had to fear being seen by, and why.

"I've considered it," the paladin replied, "and it doesn't matter. I'm not going to hide in Sanctuary behind these settlers just because my life no longer has worth. There's work to be done, and I'll help rid the Commonwealth of the scum in any way I can. Besides, it's better than being a glorified watchdog for people that don't want me here in the first place."

Nate worked his jaw and said, "Fine. Risk your own life if you want to, that's your right. But did you think about Ellis before you came up with this brilliant plan to make yourself a target?"

"What does she have to do with this?"

"You think they'll stop to ask her what she knows about you, if you're caught together? Do you think they'll care that she's an innocent bystander?"

Ellis nearly snorted at that remark. No one had ever called her _innocent_ , and it wasn't often that she was a _bystander_ of anything. Certainly, Nate knew better.

Danse's expression soured. "I suppose they won't. I'm sorry, Nate. I didn't mean to risk your wife's life so thoughtlessly. I... I won't go."

She'd heard enough, and moved away from the wall.

It was one thing to badger Danse about risking his own neck, but putting the responsibility of her life on his shoulders was just a low blow, and one she wasn't going to stand for. Coming from Nate, it galled her more deeply than it normally would have.

When she stepped out of the doorway and into the yard, both men turned to look at her, watching her approach.

Ellis held Nate's gaze as she moved closer. "I don't appreciate being used as a tactic to get what you want, especially since the concern for my welfare is insincere." She looked over at Danse then. "On top of that, I find it dishonorable that you'd ask to join me, knowing your life was in danger, and yet willing to leave me in the dark about it." Danse's brown eyes wavered over her face before glancing over at Nate. "Don't bother looking at him for help. He's just as wrong as you are."

Nate huffed. "I don't see how."

"Oh? Did you forget you made the decision to leave me behind while you went off searching for your son? You put me in a position that left me no choice but to work for the Minutemen and be a tool at their disposal. I couldn't say no when Garvey asked me to kill those raiders at Corvega; not if I wanted to earn my keep and stay here for you. Did you happen to consider that before you ditched me here, half confused and staggered by what I woke up to?"

Her husband held her gaze, a shock of dark blonde hair blowing across his forehead in the gentle breeze. "It was better that way."

"Better for who? You? Because it sure as hell wasn't better for me!" Ellis yanked up the hem of her shirt to reveal the still pink scars that marred the tender skin of her torso, left by three bullet wounds she'd received on that first outing. He'd seen them before, but maybe seeing them again would remind him that she really _wasn't_ invincible. She was also aware that Danse was standing in a position where he had a clear view of them, but she wasn't ashamed. "You don't get to make this call for me, Nate. My life is already at risk, whether I leave this settlement with him or not, and if I want to travel with Danse, then that should be up to me." She let her shirt fall back into place.

Danse cleared his throat. "It's not his fault," he told Ellis. "I made him leave you behind."

 _Excuse me?_ That shocked her, and she stared at him openly as such.

Danse appraised people hastily, it was true. But he'd been in the Brotherhood long enough to know that sometimes, the best soldiers didn't look like soldiers at all.

Not that Ellis would ever be pegged as military material on inspection alone, but she'd thought there was a strength to her that others could see. Hearing Danse hadn't wanted her, had only been interested in mentoring Nate...

Not that she wanted to join those lunk-headed trolls in garbage cans, but still. Being rejected before he'd even seen what she was capable of... that sort of stung her pride - which had a tendency to piss her off.

"Why?" the pitch of her voice was lower and shaded with underlying anger.

"Because I thought you'd be a liability to the Brotherhood. I was concerned you wouldn't be able to keep your focus on the mission to infiltrate the Institute, and might distract Nate by doing the same."

"That makes no sense," Ellis shook her head.

"A distraught mother trying to find her son? Chances are you'd do whatever it took to get him back, even if that meant betraying the Brotherhood, or botching their plans. And I'm sure if you had defected, Nate would have as well."

If Danse truly believed that Nate would ever follow her lead out of marital loyalty, then he was completely mistaken. But more to the point, if Danse thought she was capable of giving her word and then backing out when it didn't suit her any longer, then he hadn't paid close enough attention to her at all.

And then another thought hit her.

Ellis glanced over at Nate, confused. He hadn't told them she wasn't Shaun's mother? And if he hadn't shared that bit of data, what else hadn't he told them?

Whatever. What went on between Nate and the Brotherhood of Steel was none of her business, and if his lack of sharing all this information with her was any clue, that's the way he wanted to keep it.

So much for being a team. It was pretty obvious to Ellis that Nate was never going to see her as anything more than a bed mate who happened to share his last name, or a pawn in whatever game he was playing. She'd had just about enough of people using her for their own gain, with no concern over what she wanted or needed.

Her gaze drifted back to Danse. "Well, thanks for judging me before knowing anything about me." She turned away to retrieve her pack, and left the house using the back door, hiking across a shallow part of the river out of Sanctuary without looking back.

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Ellis didn't get to Coastal Cottage until late in the afternoon, as the sun was beginning to turn from yellow to orange and paint the western sky in bands of pink and peach clouds against a crisp blue background.

She was surprised no one shot at her before she finished descending the little hill that led to the house, considering she was armed for a fight; her .50 cal at her back, holding her .45 Sig MPX, and a Walther P99 strapped to her thigh.

And that was just the guns. She also had a combat knife strapped to her outer left bicep, one tucked into her right boot - and a switchblade that was carefully stashed out of sight - not to mention her pouches of ammo hooked to the bandolier that crossed her torso.

She'd never been one to leave running out of weapons much of a possibility.

Maybe it helped that she had a blue, Minutemen bandana tied around her right arm. Whatever the case, one of the guards at his post saw her and lifted his arm to wave, so she made her way over to him.

"Nice to see you," he said with a warm smile. "Was worried you wouldn't make it over here before the next attack."

She frowned. "No one said you'd been attacked, or I would have been here sooner."

"It just happened this morning. We radioed Preston, but he said you'd already left." The man looked around her, his eyes scanning the area she'd come from. "Where's your friend?"

"Friend?"

"Preston said to expect you and one other, a big guy with dark hair."

Ellis tilted her head to side and gave it a shake. She hadn't told Preston about Danse accompanying her, because the paladin had incorporated himself into her assignment and then backed out all before she'd talked to the Minuteman about it, so why he thought she hadn't left Sanctuary alone was beyond her.

"Crossed communication it seems," she replied. "So tell me about this trouble you've been having. Do you know where they're coming from? How many are there?"

The thin man shook his head. "I can only guess, on both accounts. Sorry." He looked back toward the little garage and pointed. "Sabine would be the one to talk to. She's had a run in with them before."

"Thanks," Ellis nodded and walked off.

Sabine, it seemed, had taken over as foreman of the settlement, and she was busy directing a couple of residents on how to grow bigger, healthier vegetables when Ellis stopped just over her shoulder and called her name.

"Yes?" the woman turned. Hard grey eyes looked over Ellis with cold dissection, and Ellis could have sworn the woman lifted her nose higher into the air after the once-over that would have left a shyer person feeling about two inches tall. "Who are you?"

"Name's Ellis. Garvey sent me."

"Ah, yes. I expected you to be here _yesterday_ ," she replied with a pompous hiss.

There weren't many times in Ellis's thirty-odd years that the urge to slap someone had been nearly overwhelming, but as she stood under Sabine's haughty scrutiny, being pelted with snottiness, it immediately became apparent to her that this was one of those moments, and her fingernails curled in to scratch unconsciously at her palm.

Preston hadn't even received the message from Coastal Cottage until late evening, and by then it had been too late to head out.

"You expected me to travel at night... in the dark... with no idea what I was walking into... get here by midnight...," Ellis scowled at the woman. "And do _what_ , exactly?"

At this point the settlers nearby had paused in their work, and were watching the two women closely.

Sabine puffed up. "You could have stood guard with Eugene. You left him out here all night alone. Poor sop was so scared, he wet himself."

 _Bitch, please._ "Guard duty is the responsibility of the settlement, not mine. If you don't feel your guards are up to snuff, then replace them. You're in charge here, after all." Though how the woman had managed it was beyond her.

Sabine smirked. "That's right, I am. And while you're here, you'll do what I say, and go where I tell you to go."

"The fuck I will," Ellis snarled. "I work for Nate Mitchell and Preston Garvey, not you. Now, if you want me to do my job and take out the raiders that have been harassing the place, point me in the right direction. Otherwise, I'm leaving and you can deal with them on your own."

Sabine didn't like being told "no" apparently, and her eyes narrowed at Ellis, glaring hotly with a snarl twisting her lip. "You don't get to come in here on a high horse and do whatever you damn well please. I'm the representative here, and if you work for Garvey, then you do work for me. I don't care how good of a shot you are," she shifted to pick up a baseball bat that leaned against the workshop bench. "Mercenary's are nothing but scum."

 _Oh that's it._ Ellis had no intention of being ordered around like a lap dog on a chain. Not by this stuck up wench. "If this is the way you want to play it, that's fine by me. You're on your own." She gave Sabine her back, retreating the same way she'd approached, all the settlers now gawking - their faces either drawn and frightened, or slack-jawed with shock.

Sabine's silent threat caused her no worry. Let the woman make a move against her. _Please._

It had been a good while since she had the chance to work off some angry energy, and the thought of Sabine being on the other end of it was a pretty picture that tempted her to push the issue - but Ellis knew that she wouldn't be the one who felt the blowback. It would be Preston, Nate, and the Minutemen - so she walked on, up the hill and out of sight of the guards.

Imagine her surprise when she spotted a man ahead of her, walking in her direction, his wide shoulders and dark hair highlighted by the glowing sun, his image shimmering like a mirage in the heat of the afternoon.

_Danse?_

Ellis slowed, meeting him a minute later. "I thought you weren't coming."

His face was stern, his expression unreadable as he stopped in front of her.

"I'll go back if that's what you want."

Ellis studied him quietly. Did she want him to leave? He'd lied to her - by omission, true, but a lie none the less. If he could put her in danger simply by keeping his mouth shut, what heights would it rise to if his mere life posed a threat? Being in his presence was a potential death sentence, and she didn't even know why.

She wasn't used to having company anyway, but she'd already agreed to let him join her. What did that make her, if she welched on their deal?

But Danse was most definitely trouble. Oh, yes. She knew it now. Danse was dangerous, and it had nothing to do with the threats to his life. Was she willing to put herself at risk?

"We better find a place close by the settlement to camp. I have a feeling the raiders will hit early in the morning."

"Should I make a fire?"

Ellis shrugged. "If you need one."

They ate pork and beans that night, and sat around on their sleeping rolls until dark, when Danse proposed to take first watch.

 


	5. Chapter 5

She'd only been lying down for a bit over four hours when Danse leaned over and gently touched her arm.

"Ellis, you're up," he said lightly.

She rolled onto her back as he stepped over to his things and sat down, placing his weapon next to him.

Sitting up, Ellis rubbed her face. She hadn't slept well. Or rather, she hadn't slept at all, though tiredness plagued her. She supposed it was a side effect of being a human popsicle in a vault, but who knew? Maybe it was stress, fear, or health reasons. Or a combination of them.

The sky was clear, the moon nearly full, bathing everything in soft white light. She stood up and pulled on her jacket, lifting the hood over her head. Moving to a nearby stump, Ellis couldn't stop her eyes from drifting back towards the Brotherhood soldier.

He looked up at her, caught her watching him. "Everything all right?"

She nodded.

Sure it was, couldn't he tell? She'd been frozen for two hundred years, then thrust into a desolate world filled with nothing but death and suffering, had a husband that didn't love her, no real home, no idea what the hell to do with what little life she had left, and no clue how to figure out what she ought to do about any of it.

 _Yeah, everything is just peachy._ "Fine."

Ellis knew there was no way he could see her face in the darkness of her hood, but the way he watched her gave the impression that he could see right through the masks she wore, piercing them like a sword through butter, and a shiver staggered its way down her spine.

"I'd say something here about how you're being a hypocrite, but I think it might be a bit too soon for that."

Her lips twitched. "Just a bit."

"So then talk to me." He leaned back against a heavy fallen log, crossing his long legs at the ankle and pulling out a can of water.

"What, are you going to be my therapist now?"

"It helps," he said after a couple swigs from the container, "talking about your troubles."

Ellis snorted and looked off into the distance. "No it doesn't. It just makes them more real." When he didn't reply for a few minutes, she thought maybe he'd fallen asleep, but when she looked back, he was still sitting there, like a statue, watching her. "Get some sleep, Danse. You need it."

He shifted, but didn't move to do as she'd suggested. "I don't sleep well."

"Another member of the monsters-in-my-closet-club?"

His jaw clenched briefly. "Something like that."

"So talk to me." She said it playfully, but in all seriousness. Surely he knew she could be trusted with whatever it was he and Nate were hiding. She was hiding synths, for crying out loud! But she doubted he would talk. At first she thought he was silent about it out of fear, but the more she paid attention to the things he'd said, Ellis wondered if his tight lip was more along the lines of pride... or shame.

"I was exiled from the Brotherhood," the words spilled from his mouth in a rush. "They think I'm a traitor."

That was hard to believe. She barely even knew the man, but everything about Danse screamed Brotherhood, and not just his gear. His speech, his behavior - hell, his very character spoke of his loyalty to them. How the hell did they consider him an enemy?

"What'd you do?"

He leaned his head back on the log and looked up into the sky, leaving the long column of his throat exposed. A slight breeze passed over them, rustling dry leaves as it kicked them up and scattered them across the ground.

"I didn't do anything." That explained nothing. Well, so much for trying to get the man to open up. "It turns out... I'm not who I thought I was."

Ellis twisted on her seat to face him, curiosity eating at her. "What the hell does that mean?"

A sigh filled with exhaustion escaped him. "I'm a synth, Ellis. I'm a goddamn _synth_." He lifted his head to look at her, his face hard and his dark eyes as cold as the cryo pod she'd been released from. "Happy now?"

 _Shiiit_. No wonder the man was hiding out in Sanctuary with a bunch of ghouls.

"I'm never happy," she replied in an easy tone. "Thought you'd noticed that by now."

He blinked several times, clearly trying to figure out why she hadn't made some wisecrack about the irony of it all and debating whether or not to remark on it. 

"Why aren't you happy?" he asked instead.

Should she answer that honestly? He probably deserved it, considering he'd just opened his cocoon of privacy and let her - a near stranger - dive inside. Not that telling him her issues was going to fix anything, but at least she ought to show him the same amount of trust he'd just given her.

"Where the hell should I start?"

Danse pushed to his feet and approached her, picking a stump a few feet from her and sat down.

"Start at the beginning. When did you first notice you weren't happy?"

Ellis chuckled. "Hell no. If I started there, we'd be sitting here for a month."

"All right. Then just tell me what bothers you most."

Her lips pursed, her eyes scanning over the landscape again as she tried to decide exactly what that was.

"I've never meant anything to anyone. Not truly." Tension rolled in her gut. _Damn that was hard to admit out loud._ "I've been a tool, a pawn, a plaything, an excuse, and worst of all... a replacement, but no one has ever cared about me, or wanted me for just me. They wanted what I am, what I can do. Desired my skills or used me for their own gain, but not once has anyone asked me what I want, or what I need. No one has cared enough about me to bother."

His face was relaxed when she dared to look back at him, dark eyes flickering around the darkness of her hood.

"That can't be true. Your husband cares for you."

Ellis's throat tightened. "It would be easier if that were true."

Danse lifted his hand out, stretching his arm across the distance and pushed her hood away from her face, and Ellis froze as his gaze snared hers.

"Do you love him?"

Her heart was suddenly thundering in her chest, though she couldn't be certain the exact reason why. It could be the fact that she was blurting out all the personal shit she'd kept bottled inside, or the fact that she was telling it all to a complete stranger. But deep down, she suspected it was more because of the person she was telling it to, and the fact that his strong fingers whispering across the skin of her cheek as he'd moved her hood had caused her entire body to flood with needy heat.

Ellis stood up and yanked the hood back into place as she moved off into the distance away from the camp.

What the fuck was wrong with her? She shouldn't be telling another man her personal shit. Nate. Nate was the one she should share it with, not Danse.

 _Get your shit together, Ellis!_ She knew there was only one thing left to do.

Stay as far away from Danse as possible, or she was going to end up doing something she'd regret.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to keep using Ellis as the main POV, but occasionally I'll be switching when I feel it's important to get a glimpse into other characters. So this chapter: Danse.  
> I'm going to attempt at least one weekly update from here on (since I'm caught up editing/posting what I'd already written) but no promises.  
> 

Danse had tried every sleeping position available, but the task continued to escape him well into the late morning, because every time he'd closed his eyes he could hear the haunted tone in Ellis's voice when she'd told him no one had ever cared for her, see the sadness in her eyes when he'd pushed away the hood that hid them.

Why her words bothered him so much perplexed him. He barely knew her. He ought to just forget about the way her voice had choked when he'd mentioned Nate, delete the look of fear in her eyes from his memory when he'd asked her if she loved her husband.

But he couldn't, and he reasoned that maybe it was because of his bond with Nate.

As his best friend's wife, Ellis was now in Danse's life for better or worse, and considering the circumstances fate had deemed to put him in, Danse was pretty sure it would be for the better. Unless he messed it up by failing to adapt. Or change. He needed Nate now, more than any other friend he'd ever had - which could be added up on the fingers of one hand - and that meant letting people in Nate's life get close to him, as well.

But... somehow he knew that there was more to it than that.

He may have already come to terms with the fact that he was synth, but he still hated it - continuing to wrestle with the consequences of it - but facts were facts and he couldn't argue with them. What posed a bigger problem for him, was in trying to understand how to navigate it. He'd never been good at sharing his feelings, or dealing with intimate emotions from other people. Hell, half the time he didn't even understand his own feelings!

Particularly in this case.

Danse cared about Nate, no question. And he respected Nate's duty to those in need, and to those he cared about. That's why he'd gone with Nate to Sanctuary that first time.

That initial introduction to the place hadn't made anyone look favorably on Danse, or the Brotherhood of Steel. Not because of anything the settlers had done, but because Danse's attitude and opinions, formed and honed to precision by the Brotherhood, had made him an outcast.

At the time, he hadn't cared. He was right, they were wrong, but there was nothing to be done about it because they were important to his friend.

He recalled the very first time he'd seen Ellis, and he was filled with a jumble of emotions at the memory. A snide comment made about ghouls had made some of the settlers bristle, earning him no respect, and though anger had flashed in their eyes, he'd also seen fear. They were afraid he'd attack them.

God, how arrogant he'd been back then.

Ellis had come at him like a raging bull, telling Danse his presence was only going to be tolerated because he was Nate's guest, and that otherwise, he was never welcome there. Even now, he could recall the irritation in her hazel eyes, the coiled anger that rode on her shoulders. If he'd been anyone else besides Nate's friend, Danse was pretty sure Ellis would have shot him.

Back then he'd felt much the same towards her; irritated that she was blind to the danger the abominations she was protecting posed to the rest of humanity, indignant that she had the nerve to stand in his face and criticize his actions against the filthy creatures. But now?

All these years he'd done whatever the Brotherhood of Steel had wanted him to, without question, without debate, doubt or hesitation, always trusting that they were right; they knew best. After all, they'd let a scrawny nobody like him into their ranks, willing to care for him and teach him how to be a good soldier. They were the good guys. Why should he question their orders? Why would he doubt their views?

Why the hell hadn't he stopped to think for himself?

He'd been forced to take a good, long hard look in the mirror with new eyes, and what he'd seen staring back had horrified him. His beliefs had been bushwacked by a horrifying reality, but he'd finally accepted the truth.

He'd been devastated to learn he was a synth, but there was more to it than simply finding out he was one of the very monsters he'd sworn to eradicate. It meant that his entire life was a lie. His identity, his desires, his bond to the Brotherhood and every soldier he'd worked with, his mission, his beliefs... All those things had been based on the belief that he was a human. None of it was his. None of it was real. He wasn't real.

He had nothing. He _was_ nothing.

Nate wouldn't let him kill himself. It would have been better for them all if he had, but Nate made him promise not to take his life. If that's what one could call it. Life.

What a joke.

But the more time he spent with Nate afterward, accompanying him around on his journey to stop the Institute and his son - who Danse recently learned was no relation to Ellis at all - the more Danse saw that most people only feared synths because of rumors spread about them, or incidents the Institute devised to cause panic.

Nate had been right. Synths weren't necessarily the enemy. In fact, as he'd witnessed many times since, synths were as complicated and different as every human he'd ever known. Some were good, some were bad. Most were somewhere in between.

Nate had reminded him that everything he'd done - regardless of his actions to accomplish it - had been undertaken because Danse had truly cared about people and wanted to make the world a better place for them to live in.

Regardless of the Brotherhood views he'd been spoon-fed and the ways in which he went about it, Danse's intent had always been to leave the world a safer environment for people to build their lives in. To settle down, grow crops, run stores... To raise families.

He'd been willing to die to make that happen. And if he, as a synth, had done everything he could to make that a reality, then everything the Brotherhood of Steel had told him had been wrong.

And _he'd_ been wrong to be their weapon.

Nate knew it; even though Nate joined them and ran missions for them, the man hadn't ever fully committed to their cause. It was later that Danse learned Nate had just been using them to find his son - because despite his differing beliefs, they'd been his best, if not only, option.

Ellis knew it; She'd stood up for them even before Nate had introduced her to the conflict between the Brotherhood and the not-quite-human residents he'd sent her to help. She'd met them on her own and had come to the same conclusion as her husband: Ghouls and synths had as much right to try living a good life as everyone else.

He may not have agreed with her back then, but Danse had respected her loyalty to those she'd fought to protect, just as he'd been loyal to his faction. They had different beliefs, but they shared the same determination, the same conviction of dying for their cause if they had to.

Maybe that's why he was concerned about her now?

She had said something that morning before leaving Sanctuary that had gotten to him, when she'd accused Nate of abandoning her in a strange world to find her own way. He'd admitted to his part in that, and felt guilty that she'd struggled to adjust because of him and his selfishness. More importantly, he'd seen the sadness that swarmed in the depths of her eyes when she'd looked at Nate, and he recognized it from his own reflection.

Loneliness. Despite being surrounded by people most of the time, both Ellis and Danse felt alone.

Danse had his superiors to talk with about missions and tactics, had his soldiers to pass on his experience and knowledge to, but even with the constant interaction he'd always felt out of place and isolated. He'd never dwelled on the feeling long, during the unwanted occasions it snuck into his awareness, but it had always been there. Especially after Cutler.

He'd thought it was just because he was getting older, becoming soft and weak. Or because he, by choice, had no one he was close to - having wanted to spare himself the pain of losing another person he cared about - without understanding that he was causing himself pain by doing so.

It dawned on him that even before Cutler's death, he'd felt alone. The desire to have a family of his own had always been there, in the darkest corners of his soul.

Was that even possible now?

Nate was family. Nate _had_ a family, though his friend didn't seem to be noticing.

After that confrontation in the side yard that morning, Danse had begun to recall the past few months, and how Nate had readily dropped Ellis at Garvey's feet and left with Danse, no argument. They'd returned a few times after that and even though the couple was civil and even friendly, Danse couldn't remember ever seeing Nate hug Ellis, or kiss her, or make any sort of endearing remark toward her.

Or even _about_ her.

They'd spoken of her before Danse had met her, but all Nate had ever told him was just facts, and Danse now suspected that Ellis was correct. Nate didn't love her.

To be blunt though, Danse wasn't sure what Nate loved, but it certainly didn't seem to be his wife. Seeing Ellis upset because she knew it, must be the reason Danse felt pulled to her now. They shared the same emotion, the same thought. They were both miserably alone.  

_And misery loves company, right?_

His weary body gave in to exhaustion, his mind finally succumbing to sleep just as the eastern sky announced dawn's approach within an hour.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *One more alternate POV before I move back to Ellis*

"No!" 

Nate shouted to no one in the real world, as he bolted upright out of another agonizing dream, layered in droplets of sweat, his chest heaving for air. It took him a moment to realize where he was; two hundred and ten years away from his Nora, lying in a bed he shared with another woman. 

He ran a hand over his tired eyes and up through his mussed hair before swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. 

What would Nora think of him now; tortured with loss, a ship with no sails, tormented by her memory? 

He'd always been so sure of everything before the bombs had fallen. Sure of his love for Nora, sure of what he wanted for them and the family they planned, sure of his purpose and place in the world. 

But now that was all gone. Nora was gone. Shaun was... _might as well be gone_ , or would be soon, and every plan and dream he'd made had been decimated. He had nothing left. He wasn't sure about anything, but that. 

_What about Ellis?_

Nate sighed and closed his eyes, dropping his head into his hands. 

He did care for her, because she'd been there to keep him on his feet after Nora had been taken from him. She'd looked after Shaun for the short time before the bombs dropped, left Nate to grieve without the added responsibility of having to tend to his son on his own. And never once had she complained or nagged. 

Why the hell she'd agreed to marry him, Nate could only begin to guess. He knew she'd been on her own back then, but was she so desperate to have someone in her life that she'd accepted his proposal just to fend off the loneliness? 

If so, he hadn't done a very good job of fixing that, had he? 

He'd taken Curie to Vault 111 that day to help him release Ellis from her pod and give her a proper burial. Nate had no scientific knowledge about cryogenics or the effects on the human body, and hadn't been sure what to expect once she began to thaw out. 

That sounded harsh and unfeeling, but it was the truth. When Curie had gasped and told him that she detected a faint heartbeat, Nate had been bowled over with disbelief. She'd asked for his permission to try to save Ellis, the gunshot wound to her chest far enough away from vital organs that the damage was easily repairable. 

Ellis wasn't Nora, but that didn't mean he was type of man that could just let her die. She was his wife, for Christ's sake! Saving her was his duty. So he'd told Curie to do whatever she needed to do to save Ellis, knowing her life would be his responsibility. 

Did he regret that now? No. Ellis may be nothing like his Nora, but his respect for her was solid. 

The idea to marry her had come to him during one of his rounds of trying to drown his sorrows with enough alcohol to forget he'd lost the woman who'd been the center of his world, and as much as it shamed him now to admit it, the concept of it had been solely for Shaun's benefit. He hadn't loved her. 

Rising from the bed, Nate made his way to the bathroom to wash up. 

He was heading back to the Boston Airport to get back the holotape he'd given Proctor Ingram so Sturges could take a look at it. True, the Brotherhood of Steel had given him the means to find Shaun, but now that the Institute had been located and he'd been inside, Nate wasn't keen on helping them any longer. He'd only agreed to find the nukes for Liberty Prime because Danse had persuaded him to. Now that they'd turned their back on the paladin and he was no longer one of them, Nate didn't give a rat's ass what Maxson and his band of blowhards wanted. 

Fuck them and their giant robot. And just for good measure - to make sure the Brotherhood didn't pose a bigger threat to the Commonwealth - Nate, Deacon and MacCready had hightailed it to Mass Fusion and stolen the device that would allow their weapon to have independent power. Without the Beryllium Agitator, Prime was nothing more than a heaping pile of racist scrap - _much like their Elder_ \- and he'd hid it where no one would ever find it. 

Nate wondered what Danse would think about it, if he found out what Nate had done. 

A weak grin pulled at his lips when he thought about the man.

Despite the way the Brotherhood had treated him, Danse still respected their overall goal, and felt that they were the best option the world had if they wanted to live better lives. Nate wasn't sure whether Danse truly still believed in them, or if he was simply falling back on rhetoric in denial. 

He'd no doubt give Nate another morals lecture, at the very least. 

Nate had few friends before the war, and never for very long. For one reason or another, friends had come and gone, and Nate hadn't ever really been affected by their presence in his life. But Danse had been the one constant since he'd woken from the vault. He'd taken Nate under his wing and supported him in the craziness of trying to find his son. 

_So has Ellis_ , a little voice whispered in soundless words. 

She was helping out at Coastal Cottage at the moment, like she had with other settlements that called for Minutemen aid. Nate felt guilty for leaving her to do all the work while he was focused on everything but her and his job as head of the Minutemen. He should have been the one to trek all over the Commonwealth to help the settlers with their problems. He was the fucking General, after all. Yet, he'd let her do all the dirty work. 

To be honest, Nate doubted Ellis really minded the actual labor part of the gig. She was never one to sit around when things needed done. 

When he'd first met her back at Nora's law office, Nate had been intrigued by her interest in guns, her keen eye and quick wit. Didn't hurt that as far as looks were concerned, Ellis was damn fine. Maybe not beauty pageant beautiful like Nora had been, but her curves were a dream and those long legs of hers went on for days. He wouldn't lie that he enjoyed feeling them around him as they... 

Anyway. 

He'd learned later - after marrying her, to be precise - that she had been working off the books for the government for years: A mercenary. 

No wonder she'd felt alone. 

She told him about some of her work, places she'd been and things she'd done. The lives she's taken. She hadn't done it for the money, it was simply what she was good at, and Nate could confirm it. He'd seen her make a shot so improbable that if they'd taken bets before hand, he'd have lost. 

And despite the fact that Shaun was not her child, and that she had no prior experience with babies, Ellis had taken to caring for his son like he was the most precious thing in the world to her. 

Probably because he had been, with Nate off being self-absorbed and leaving her alone with the boy as her only source of companionship those four months before the world finally imploded in a shit-storm. 

Things hadn't really changed since then, had they? 

She was still there in the background, supporting Nate by doing what he needed her to do, caring for those he was responsible for, while he was off doing his own thing. The details might be a bit different, but the circumstances hadn't changed. 

She fucking deserved better. A better life, and a better world. 

_She deserves a better husband._

Ellis was an amazing person, and a damn fine woman, Nate realized, and he'd been neglecting her. Using her. She might as well have been invisible. 

_But not invisible to Danse._

The former paladin had a keen eye for people with talent, and a big heart when it came to those as broken and lost as he was, though Nate was pretty sure Danse was unaware of this quality in himself. It's what had made him go back on his word to stay in Sanctuary and keep a low profile. Even though going out there with Ellis meant the odds of being spotted by the Brotherhood were nearly certain, Danse had seen that Ellis needed someone at her side. Not as a sidekick or a helper, but as a friend. Nate had just been too blind and selfish to see it. 

But he sure as hell hadn't missed the way Danse's eyes had roamed over Ellis's body as they'd stood there in the yard bickering. Nate wasn't sure Danse was even aware of it, but it was clear to Nate that the man was attracted to his wife. And not just because of her strength of character. 

Something wrenched in his stomach as an image floated through his thoughts of Danse and Ellis... alone out in the wastes... bonding as they leaned on one another for support, and the bathroom suddenly felt hot even though he had yet to turn on the shower and the door was standing open. 

_Oh fuck._

The razor he'd been shaving with slipped from his fingers and clanked into the sink, his jaw covered in white foam, and his eyes widened as he studied his reflection in the metal framed mirror.

 _Am I jealous that my best friend is attracted to my wife?_

 


	8. Chapter 8

It wasn't often that her gut reactions had steered her wrong, but when they did, they had a tendency to detonate her life beyond repair, and this time she hoped to hell she could stop the impending disaster before what little she had left imploded.

She'd spent hours out in the darkness, shivering her ass off as she kept her distance from Danse. Ellis knew that come daylight, she'd have to face him, and it terrified her.

Would he ask her why she'd fled? Did he care that she had? She really didn't want to have to explain it.

"Danse," she lightly kicked at the sole of his left boot, but he didn't stir. "Danse!" a bit of a harder kick made his foot shift. Her hands flew up in front of her as Danse came up off his sleeping bag with a knife in his hand, his eyes wide and looking every bit as freaked as she suddenly felt. "Whoa! Slow down, soldier. It's time for chow."

He blinked a couple times, red spreading from under his  shirt collar up into his cheeks as he fully awoke and realized what was happening. "I apologize."

Ellis shook her head and moved to the small fire pit to rake at the coals. "Don't apologize. It was my fault. I didn't know how you'd react."

"Not normally like that," he admitted softly. "What's for breakfast?"

_Changing topics. Good dodge, soldier._

She pulled a couple boxes from her pack and held one up in each hand. "Blamco Mac and Cheese, with Salisbury Steak." His nose wrinkled. "That, or you can go fight the Deathclaw down in the ravine north of us, if you'd rather have scrambled eggs."

Danse's brown eyes pegged her, his brow furrowed. "If that's a joke, it's not a funny one."

Ellis dropped the boxes on the ground next to her. "There are two things I never joke about, Danse. Bad breath, and Deathclaws."

He ignored her attempt to keep things breezy and turned away to pick up his rifle, checking that it was fully loaded. "We should go kill it before it decides to come looking for food and finds us, or the settlers at Coastal Cottage."

She stayed put, adding a few logs to the renewed flames. "Relax, Danse. I've got it covered."

His hands stopped and he looked over at her. "Relax? Do you have any idea what a Deathclaw can do? We'll be ripped apart and shredded like a grass clippings through a lawnmower. We need to take the initiative and kill it before it becomes a problem."

When he leaned down and started to put out the little fire she'd just revived from near death, Ellis knocked his hand away.

"I said I have it covered! And you agreed to follow my lead," she tried her best not to sound harsh. "She's nesting, so I snuck in during the night and put claymores all around the pit. When she wakes up and moves, it's bye bye wasteland, hello Deathclaw paradise in the sky."

Danse's eyes bulged. "You did _what_? Are you completely out of your mind? You could have been killed!" 

Ellis looked away from him with a shrug and dug in her pack for a pan to heat the food in. _Not a big loss either way._ "There are very few problems out here that can't be solved by a suitable application of high explosives."

Before either of them could speak again, an explosion went off at the ravine and a howling roar skittered out over the wastes. Several more eruptions littered the area as the half moon of claymores she had placed detonated, sending black smoke and bits of Deathclaw spewing into the air.

Danse stood there, watching the smoke lift higher and thin out before turning toward her with a scowl. "That was foolish and irresponsible, Ellis, not to mention we could have used those claymores against the raiders we're supposed to be taking on."

She let out a little laugh that didn't hold an ounce of humor. "I don't plan on letting the raiders get close enough to have needed them. Besides, we would have wasted more ammo trying to take out the Deathclaw with guns. It was easier this way."

He snorted and sat down on the fallen log by his bag. "That may be true, but those bullets you spared wouldn't do you a damn bit of good if you're dead!" His frown turned into a confused scowl. "Does Nate know you're this reckless in the field?"

Ellis tensed and had to force herself to keep working on the food, hoping the movements would mask how uneasy she was.

"Nate isn't concerned with how I do my job, only that it gets done." She looked over at him with narrowed eyes. "And I don't appreciate my tactics being judged, especially by someone that went head first into a swarm of enemies with nothing more than an old combat knife and a war cry." His face registered shock at her statement. "Yeah, I heard about the incident at Med Tek. Hell, half of Boston heard about it, and it was the other half doing the telling." Her eyes dropped as she forked a steak and flipped it over.

"This is clearly a case of do as I say, not as I do," he replied in a lighter tone, and she looked up to find a hint of a grin tugging at his corner of his mouth.

"Yeah? I gue--"

"Ellis!" a voice screamed from over and down the hill to their east and she turned to see a man scrambling up the incline and running toward her. "Ellis, the guards spotted raiders coming up the road! Hurry!"

Danse was on his feet and moving before Ellis had even dropped the fork from her hand, and he tossed her ammo bandolier and rifle to her just as she was fully on her feet, and he was already pushing past her heading for the settlement before she could slip the straps over her head.

How had he moved so damn fast?

_Never mind. Unimportant._

What was important now, was to get there before the raiders did, and she took off after Danse, her long legs eating up the distance.

Ellis had always been a fast runner. Back in junior high she'd been on the track team, running cross country and doing hurdles. She'd been unbeatable. In her adult years, her speed and stamina had saved her life on more than one occasion, and she'd been proud of her abilities. But Danse could have been The Flash, for as fast as he moved, and it made her wonder whether she'd gotten slower with age, or if she'd just been giving herself too much credit all these years.

Regardless, she came to a halt to his left several seconds after he stopped, sliding sand out in front of her as she peered down over the east hill. Settlers had already taken up positions along a short wall of sandbags.

Her eyes moved swiftly over the scene below. "I count twelve," she said.

"Thirteen," Danse corrected. "There's one trying to get in behind us," he pointed out toward the north, where the rocks impeded their view. "There."

Just as he spoke, she saw a head bob through break in the rocks. "I see him." Ellis lifted her rifle to her shoulder and looked through her scope.

"Wind's blowing from the west," Danse said, "but you'd better adjust for--" A bullet zinged past her head and Danse pushed her shoulders toward the ground, and they ducked behind the fortifications.

"Sons of bitches," Ellis snarled as settlers started popping off random shots that hit nothing but the rocks or pavement below.

"You take the runner," Danse said over her shoulder, "and I'll keep this bunch at bay until you're ready."

She nodded and moved across the sandy yard in a crouch, coming to a stop at the edge of the house, her eyes scanning for the raider. She spotted him a second later, making his way up the lower incline further north, and she took aim as a handful of explosions behind her sent debris scattering all over the road.

_One shot, Ellis. Just one... perfect... shot._

She squeezed the trigger and the raider hit the ground screaming, grabbing at his arm.

 _Fuck!_ She'd forgotten to adjust for blowback from the airstream coming off the ocean. Danse had tried to remind her. How could she be so careless?

_What the fuck, Ellis? Pull it together._

No need to stop and adjust now, because she knew how far off her shot was. All she had to do was reset her target point and...

Another smooth pull of the trigger and her rifle recoiled into her shoulder as the raider face planted the sandy earth.

Or he would have if he'd had a face left.

Whipping around, Ellis ran back toward the firing line to join Danse, but... he wasn't there.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I changed a bit about Coastal Cottage's layout/landscape and some other vanilla stuff to fit the story, so any future stuff that doesn't seem right is likely me taking way too much artistic liberty.*

Where the fuck was Danse?

She'd left his side for less than a minute and he'd somehow vanished.

Ellis heard screaming from the road below and rushed to the edge of the rocky cliff. Four of the settlers had run down the path towards the raiders, guns blasting shots that did nothing but bounce off the stone wall the enemy was using for cover.

A raider stood up and shot at them, his target screeching and hitting the ground. And there was Danse, rushing out from what little cover he'd found to grab the injured woman's arm and drag her out of the way.

The raiders spotted him instantly, turning in his direction and pelting the area with bullets.

There was an old rusted truck near three of the raiders, and she lifted her rifle and took aim at the hood, placing the crosshairs right over where the fusion engine should be. With the west wind at her back this time, there was no need to compensate or adjust her weapon. She made the shot and heard the sound of it penetrating the metal.

Damaging the engines always had the same result. A tiny pop of energy as the cell burst, creating a flame that would heat the core and overload it, making it explode and sending a sizable eruption of radiation across the immediate area.

The two raiders closest to it screamed as their limbs were torn from their bodies, and the third received shrapnel to the face, along with the radiation. One of the settlers on the hilltop took a shot that miraculously connected, and the raider went down.

Another settler flung a molotov over the rocks and it hit the ground too close to the hillside to do the raiders harm, but damn near where Danse was crouched and shooting at a raider who was trying to creep around the south end of the wall and sneak across the road.

"You've got friendlies down there!" Ellis yelled at the settler. "Skip the explosives and fucking shoot!"

All she needed was for Danse to be killed by a settler on her watch. Nate would never let her hear the end of it.

The raider was too close against the rock face for anyone to get a good shot, and though they kept raining down bullets on the attackers, they weren't hitting anything of importance. Being stuck in one spot while he protected the injured settler, Danse couldn't maneuver to get a better angle. He was a sitting duck.

 _Goddamit_.

Why hadn't these idiots built turrets? Nate had sent them enough parts to construct at least three.

Slipping the strap of her rifle over her head, Ellis pulled the knife from its place on her arm, and keeping low to the sandbag wall, she hustled to the end of the southern side. Easing down the rocks, she got as close to the road as she could before dropping to the cracked and broken pavement. The raider heard the sound of her boots landing behind him and whirled on her, but it was too late. Her arm was already in a downward arc, and the blade sunk into his neck at the crook.

Exposed as she was, a couple of the other raiders spotted her and rushed in her direction. Apparently out of ammo, because one carried a tire iron, the other wielding a nasty looking machete.

"You're dead! Ya hear me?" the closest one shouted at her.

Ellis wasn't proficient in hand to hand combat. She never had to be. She was a sniper, though her first shot of the day wasn't anything to be bragging about. She was _okay_ in close quarters - could hold her own with someone not too advanced - but she always half-panicked and worried she wouldn't make the right moves, the correct counters. Luckily for her, raiders had never seemed to even approach her mediocre skill level.

The woman with the tire iron pulled her arm back to get momentum, and Ellis took the opportunity to take two quick steps forward and use her shoulder to knock the raider off her feet, keeping her blade available for use as the other raider lunged at her, his machete jabbing at her belly.

Ellis did a sort of pirouette to her left with both feet still on the ground, the larger blade missing her by a good few inches, and she came face to face with her attacker. With the combat knife still in her hand, she thrust it out and across her body, edge out and neck high, and suddenly there was a red line in front of her and the man dropped his weapon to grab at his throat.

The female raider pushed to her feet and saw her partner dropping to his knees and screamed, "Jack!" She scrambled to reach her cohort's fallen machete, but Ellis was faster, kicking it out of reach. "I'll tear you limb from limb," she snarled, smacking the tire iron against her palm.

"That's what you all say. But I'm still here," a smirk on Ellis's lips that she didn't feel confident in at all.

Any one of the other six raiders could have shot her as the two faced off in the middle of the street, but Danse was keeping them busy. He'd somehow gotten his hands on a few grenades and pitched them across the road towards the enemy, timing the throws a bit apart so that the explosions hit one after another, knocking the raiders off their feet and preventing them from focusing on Ellis. Several of them were too wounded to fight any longer, and weren't getting back up.

The woman growled out in anger and tried to strike her, and Ellis did a hop backwards to avoid it. As the iron swung wide Ellis moved back in, not stopping until she was chest to chest with the woman, her blade buried to the hilt in the woman's abdomen.

A surprised sound exited the woman's mouth, and her eyes looked at Ellis with shock. The tire iron clattered to the pavement and she reached for the blade, her dirty fingers wrapping around Ellis's hand and clutching at it as if it would somehow stop the pain.

Ellis witnessed the moment when recognition of death came to the raider, the woman's amber eyes flooding with fear and tears pooling in the corners.

"I'm sorry," Ellis whispered to her. She hadn't wanted to do this.

Despite her talent at scouting for enemies, marking enemy locations for troops, and her ability to hit targets at long distances, Ellis had never enjoyed taking lives. It was a necessary evil, and it was what she was good at, but she'd never felt tranquil about it.

"Fu.....ck y...." the words rasped away into silence as the woman fell to the ground in front of her, the knife leaving Ellis's hand empty as she let it fall with the body.

Several dozen gunshots rang out as she stood there staring at the blood that oozed around the blade and dripped down the woman's side onto the road beneath her. A molotov went soaring into the air and across the road to shatter somewhere behind her, and then all was silent.

She looked up as a figure closed in.

"You okay?" Danse asked, his eyes doing a fast sweep of her form before surveying her face. "You're bleeding." He reached up and touched her hairline at the temple, fingers coming away sticky red.

"Just scratched it on a rock on the way down the cliff."

"Better get it cleaned up anyway."

She nodded and leaned over the last raider she'd killed, removing the knife and wiping it off on the woman's ragged pants.

Following Danse back up the path to the settlement, Ellis glanced back at the destruction, raider bodies littering the area.

Yes, raiders would attack just for the hell of it, and yes, they couldn't be trusted, but it didn't make it right. They were doing the same thing everyone else out there was doing: just trying to make it to the next day.

"Stop it." Danse's gruff voice made her look up at him as he stopped and pointed her to a chair that sat near the workshop bench.

"Excuse me?"

His brown eyes softened as he pulled a bandana from a pocket of his cargo pants and leaned closer to wipe the gunk from her face so he could examine the wound.

"I know that look. I've seen it a thousand times in the eyes of many of my broth--... many soldiers, inexperienced and veteran alike. If you start feeling responsible for taking the life of an enemy, you're going to break. Stop it. The way they live their life, and the choices they made that led up to this had nothing to do with you."

Ellis sighed. "I know that."

Mentally she understood it. That's how she'd made it this far. But something had changed since the days before the bombs fell. Back then it was simply about stopping power-hungry people, and preventing greedy wars. But now? Now these people - settlers, raiders, gunners... all of them - were fighting for survival. Every minute of every day. What right did she have to end the life they were trying so hard to keep alive?

"They had a choice, Ellis," Danse reminded her. "They could have found a settlement, put on farm clothes and worked like everyone here. Or found any other way to get the resources they needed to survive, without harming others to do it. But they didn't. They _wanted_ to harm people, and you stopped that. Period."

She knew that, too, but knowing it wasn't helping much. Even as she watched the settlers cleaning up and celebrating their little victory with high-fives and hugs, she knew it wasn't going to end. The killing. There was always going to be somebody who wanted what someone else had, and there would always be someone like her there to stop them.

But it still sucked.

"So is my head going to fall off, or am I good to go?"

Danse stepped away to let her get up. "You'll live."

"Fan-fucking-tastic," she mumbled and walked off back toward their camp to retrieve her things.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Nate wasn't there when Ellis and Danse returned from their task, but Preston spotted them as they crossed the bridge and walked toward them with a wave of his gloved hand.

"Glad you're back," he smiled as the pair met him near the Sanctuary sign.

"Let me guess," Ellis held up her hand, palm as a stop sign. "You've gotten word that another settlement needs our help, and you want me to go check it out."

Preston's brows rose. "How'd you know?"

Ellis chuckled and shook her head. "Oh Preston. It's a damn good thing you're pretty, otherwise..."

"Uh... o- kaaay. Well, I'll just leave you with the details we've got and let you get to it," he said and handed her a folded piece of yellowed paper.

"Lovely," she said quietly through her teeth as he walked back toward the shop area.

"Where are we headed to?" Danse asked as he peeked over her shoulder at the paper.

"We?" Ellis looked over at him warily. "Seriously? After that debacle at Coastal, you still want to travel with me?" It hadn't been her best performance in the field. In fact, it was so bad it made her feel like a rookie again.

"No one is at the top of their game all the time. Besides, we made a deal, didn't we?"

Ah, yes. The deal. Teaming up for as long as it suited them both wasn't a bad thing, it was just that she'd sort of hoped he'd be done with it and find something else to do. Not that his skills during the fight hadn't been appreciated. She was one hundred percent positive that she'd be dead if it weren't for Danse, but his presence did things to her, made her think of things she shouldn't be considering.

She was also one hundred percent positive that he had no clue what was even happening.

Ellis wasn't a complete moron when it came to men - yeah, okay, that was debatable - but it was fairly obvious that the things Danse had said and done thus far were totally innocent. There was no motivation behind them but to be a help. He wasn't making any moves on her or trying to get under her skin.

But he definitely had. Gotten under her skin, that is.

Was she really so deprived of affection that she'd let herself become enamored with him so quickly? What the hell did that say about her?

It was no one's fault but her own. She'd allowed her desire for a real family, a real love, to let her hope she could find it with Nate. She'd been on her own her entire life; what few relationships she'd had before her husband, had been short-lived and unfulfilling. When she'd bumped into Nate that night at the bar it had opened a door to a possibility she'd almost given up on, and when he'd proposed weeks later, she'd considered that maybe they could help one another. If she could be what he needed, then maybe he would return the favor.

But even for as well as they got along, even though they were great in bed together, Nate was still in love with Nora. He never even really _looked_ at Ellis. Sure, he'd noticed her at times, even told her she was pretty once, and complimented her on other small things, but it wasn't because he loved her. Hell, he probably couldn't even recall the color of her eyes, for as little time he spent in her company - if he'd ever taken note of them at all.

Even still, Ellis had accepted her place and surrendered to the fact that her marriage wasn't ever going to have the depth  and connection that she'd wanted. She couldn't force Nate to love her, and wasn't going to waste her time trying. But she respected their marriage enough to want to live up to her pledge as best she could. And she did care about Nate. He was intelligent and attractive, and a hard worker. There were many things about him that she respected, so it wasn't all bad.

But then along came Danse, and she began to feel things for him that she shouldn't be feeling. It wasn't his fault, and he'd done nothing to intentionally encourage it, but it didn't change the fact that Ellis was intensely drawn to the rugged ex-paladin. And she felt like a worm.

It was disgusting how easily her thoughts veered from her husband to another man.

_You're weak, Ellis._

She should stay as far away from him as possible. She ought to tell him that their team-up wasn't working out for her, needed to say that she wanted to go their separate ways - obliged by her wedding vows to remove temptation - but his kindness and support was a comfort Ellis had rarely experienced, and she didn't want to give that up just yet.

"I guess we should go resupply our packs and get some rest, and figure out what this is all about," she heard herself say as she looked at the paper in hand.

"Outstanding," he replied happily, and she watched him with a frown as he headed for the house she shared with Nate.

_Nice move, genius. Way to keep your distance, and your dignity._

She groaned and followed his trail.

After that, the night passed swiftly. They showered, ate, and went over the information Preston had given her, and decided to leave the next morning after a good night's sleep - if ever one could be had - and when they woke to a rainstorm, Ellis got a bad feeling it was going to set the tone for their trip.

With full stomachs and all geared up, they headed out just after the storm died down into a constant, drizzling rain. The sky was grey with thinned out, angry clouds, and Ellis shoved a militia hat on her head to keep at least partially dry, precipitation out of her face at least.

Danse stopped by Preston's on their way out of Sanctuary to ask if there was a spare he could borrow, and the militiaman handed him one with the Minutemen insignia stitched against the crown, while smiling like a fool - obviously hoping Danse was going to join the crew.

They were headed south towards Lonely Chapel. A caravan had passed by the area after having to detour around some wandering super mutants, and had spotted raiders there. Being that close to Sunshine Tidings, it was making some of the settlers there nervous.

It couldn't ever be a pack of molerats or a group of ferals - she had no qualms about taking out those - but, no...

_Always has to be fucking raiders._

They hadn't actually made a move against the settlement yet, so Ellis was still debating what she ought to do about them. If they weren't threatening anyone, did she really have a right to attack them?

Danse's advice was the usual: End them before they became a problem.

Ellis knew he was right, but it still felt wrong. She was tired of all the killing.

Maybe she was losing it.

After everything she'd been through before the vault, and the way things were going after it, maybe her mind just couldn't take it any longer. Maybe being in cryo for all those years had left her with brain damage and she was slowing losing her mind. Or maybe she'd been mentally ill before that, and it just hadn't really surfaced until now.

Maybe she ought to just leave the Commonwealth. It wasn't as if her presence there was really necessary. It wasn't as if anyone would miss her. Nate certainly wouldn't. He was barely around, and even the times he was, he had no interest in her or what she did. If her husband didn't even give a shit about her, then what reason was there for sticking around?

They were soaked by the time they reached Sunshine to speak with the foreman there. They were given hot drinks of some sort of tea one of the settlers had prepared and were sitting at a table with him when the ham radio crackled, and everyone went quiet as they waited to hear more.

"Alvin? You there?" a voice asked.

The foreman leaned over and grabbed the microphone. "I'm here, Jeff. What's up?"

"We're over by the Nuka Transit Center and saw some Gunners headed that way. Don't know if they've got a base set up there or not. You want me to take a closer look?"

Alvin looked over at Ellis. "What do you think?"

She shrugged. "If you think he can sneak close enough without being spotted, then sure. Otherwise, he better let someone with more stealth risk it."

From the corner of her eye she could see Danse nodding in agreement, and Alvin went back to the radio and told Jeff to leave it and he'd contact Preston instead.

"We're already close," Danse spoke up as Alvin sat back from the radio. "We might as well take a look." 

His tone was easy, as if he had no concern about it at all. "They're not just some hack raiders, Danse. These are Gunners, we're talking about. I have no doubt that you'd put up a good fight, but with just us against who knows how many of them, I don't like our odds if we get caught."

"Then," his face a picture of calm, "I suggest we don't get caught."

Ellis fought down a snort, annoyed at Danse's ability to be so confident and unflustered. "Fine. We'll take a look, but that's all. I don't want to get into a firefight. That's a job for someone with a lot more guns."

Saying farewell to Alvin, the pair went on their way. A few hours after, the Federal Ration Stockpile was cleared of miscreants, and they were heading west toward the Nuka World station by late afternoon.

 


	11. Chapter 11

Jeff had been correct. It was definitely Gunners that had been on their way to the transit center. She could see a small group of them through her rifle scope as she and Danse laid on their bellies on the top of a distant hill and spied on them.

"I wonder what they're up to," Danse said as he peered through the binoculars he'd dug out of his pack.

"A little work and that place would make a good base," she thought out loud. "Fix the dilapidated parts, clean out the debris, and fortify the entrance..." Ellis lifted her head. "Wouldn't be easy getting in after that."

"For the Minutemen, maybe."

She caught the movement of his shoulders lifting in a brief shrug, and though he'd stopped talking, she could almost hear the wheels of thought still turning in his head.

"Go ahead and say it, Danse. You don't have to avoid it for my benefit."

He looked over at her with drawn brows. "You aren't offended I was thinking of the Brotherhood?"

Ellis pulled back and sat up, cradling her sniper rifle in her lap as she readjusted her militia hat into place.

"Offended you still think of the people you considered to be your family for years? Of course not. Besides, despite what I think about their views on certain subjects that I won't get into again, I can appreciate their combat effectiveness and use of technology when it provides aid to the people."

His brown eyes held her gaze, but he was quiet for a moment as he ingested her comment, and his lips pressed tightly together before he looked away again.

She'd never really had anyone in her life that truly meant anything to her, so she could only imagine what he must be feeling. Danse had an entire faction of people he'd called brother and sister. He'd been willing to give his life for them and their cause at any time, and them for him. To suddenly have them yanked from his grasp and be told he was no longer one of them, that they despised his existence... Well, that had to be hard.

_Heartbreaking._

"It's okay you miss them, you know," she told him. Without thinking, she reached out and laid her hand on his shoulder, and though she felt his muscles tense under her touch, he didn't move away or brush her off. "You're allowed to grieve the loss of what you cared about most."

He nodded and looked out over the hill to the land around them, avoiding meeting her eyes and not replying. Ellis pulled her hand back and pushed to her feet.

"It's getting late," she said. "I doubt they'll be going anywhere tonight, and we can't see what they're doing in the dark, so we might as well make camp and take another look in the morning."

She moved further from the transit center and found a sizable overhang back into the rocky face of a hill with some old, overgrown roots that partially hid the entrance. She scrounged for the makings of a small fire and began to heat some food. A little while later Danse joined her, tossing his bed roll out on the opposite side and setting his pack nearby.

They ate in silence, and once the light had completely faded from the sky, Ellis moved away from the fire towards the front of the dugout to get a better view of the sky.

Shades of navy to deep blue slowly transformed day to night, and bright stars began to twinkle across the heavenly canvas.

She wished she'd paid closer attention in school to the constellations. There'd never been a reason to learn them before the war, though. That's what computers and phone apps were for. She hadn't needed to know them to decipher direction or time of year - that's why compasses and calendars were made.

They'd all been so spoiled and lazy back then, relying on gadgets and technology instead of the tools nature had provided. So much self importance and extravagance. Ellis was ashamed to remember how she'd been a part of that, using those very things day in and day out, never once stopping to think what she'd do to survive if the world as they knew it actually ended.

Sure, the threats of bombings had been all over the news, and people worried about suffering an apocalypse, but no one truly believed it would ever come to that. Well, not most people. The average citizen just went on about their day, hoping those in power would stop the destruction before it happened. They didn't prepare because they trusted their government was more capable than those in control of every other country.

_That trust had been sorely misplaced._

So how had she - a nobody from a nearly empty town in Wyoming - come out on the other side? Why her? She was nothing special. Sure Ellis could aim a gun and pull the trigger, but so could anyone else, if their survival depended on it. Self preservation was a powerful thing. That didn't make her unique, and it certainly didn't make her irreplaceable.

Looking up at all the twinkling stars overhead, Ellis watched them curiously for a while.

"I never took the time to stop and watch them before," Danse said as he moved to sit near her a bit later.

"People and stars are a lot alike," Ellis said thoughtfully, as she studied a particularly shiny one above her.

"How so?"

"Millions of them, just out there shining, all individual, but at the same time, one big mass. Some are young, some are old. They die off and others are born to replace them. Some shine more brightly than others, but they're all made the same. And sometimes, they group together to form something larger than themselves, if they're in the right positions. And depending on how large they are, and how close to other objects, their energy can be a burden or a blessing."

When he didn't reply, Ellis looked over and found him staring at her, his expression part wonder and part something else that she didn't dare try to decipher.

"That's pretty poetic for a mercenary," he said with a hint of a mischief in his tone.

"Yeah, well, I guess I'm getting pensive as I get older," she chuckled half-heartedly. "That, or the radiation has finally eaten too much of my brain."

"You shouldn't joke about that," Danse scolded. "That's how ferals become the monsters they are."

"Relax, Danse. If you can't joke about this crappy life, then how do you expect to stay sane? You've gotta lighten up a little and just laugh sometimes. Otherwise, what's the point in fighting to survive if you never take a minute to enjoy it?"

"I don't see you laughing," he reminded her.

Ellis sighed. "Another case of do as I say, not as I do, apparently."

Danse sat there quietly for a few minutes, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. She listened to the crickets chirping around them, and heard some toad out in the distance somewhere, croaking a mating call.

_It could only be better if the hooting of an owl joined in the choir. Or maybe the howl of a coyote._

"I think you're right," Danse spoke up softly, and her gaze swept smoothly back to his face. "People _are_ like stars... and some are definitely more beautiful than others."

 


	12. Chapter 12

_So much for not getting caught._

They'd gone back to their vantage point as planned, since daylight would afford them a better view, only to have their position exposed by a fucking Brotherhood vertibird that flew over the area and dropped troops near their location. As soon as the Gunners spotted the vertibird, several of them came flying out of the parking area and up the hill, and she and Danse were caught right in the middle.

Luckily, with the militia hat on his head, and pulled low - that Danse had decided he rather liked wearing because it blocked the sun from his eyes - the Brotherhood soldiers didn't seem to recognize him. But the Gunners didn't care that they weren't with the squad of knights, and started shooting at them. Then out came an assaultron, its laser face sending beams of scorching heat right across their path.

Ellis had been willing to scramble back towards the hillside and let the big boys fight it out, but Danse didn't hesitate. He flipped his weapon to full auto and charged down the hill toward the oncoming enemy like a bull at a matador, bellowing out "Kill them all!"

And she was the one that was irresponsible and foolish? The man seriously needed to get a handle on his aggression.

Ellis had cursed and gone running after him, and within ten minutes the place had been wiped clean of Gunners. The Brotherhood soldiers hadn't even bothered to stop and question them afterward, or see if they were all right. The leader just rounded up his men and they stood in a group talking.

She could tell that Danse was really nervous - keeping his distance and his head down, which was understandable - but Ellis wasn't as easily put off. She walked over to them and interjected.

"This doesn't concern you, Civilian. Back off," the leader snarled as if she wasn't any better than one of the Gunners they had knocked off.

"See, that's where you're wrong. It most certainly _does_ concern me."

"And just how do you figure that?"

Ellis lifted her arm and pointed at the faded blue bandana on her arm. "You just busted up our scouting op."

The knight laughed. " _You're_ with Paladin Mitchell's Minutemen? No wonder he joined the Brotherhood, if you're what he has to work with."

The others chuckled with him, and Ellis struggled to hold back a slapping reply - though by this point, her already shitty mood was deepening to near explosive proportions.

"Shall I pass that along then? I'm sure he'd love to know you think so little of his wife."

Sure, she was bluffing, but she was fairly certain it would work, because one: Nate was ranked above this jerk-off, and if there was one thing she knew about military guys, it was that mouthing off about an officer's family could have severely unpleasant repercussions. Plus, the fact that they didn't know Nate didn't care about what other people thought of her, worked in favor here. And two: It was Nate. He wasn't someone you wanted on your bad side. He had the patience of a Komodo Dragon, but once it blew, no one came away unscathed.

And, judging by the uncomfortable expression that had spread across the knight's face at her revelation, she was correct on both accounts.

"Y--you're his wife?"

Ellis nodded. "I suppose I could overlook your misstep... if you help me out and tell me what you're doing over here."

They wouldn't have gotten complaints about Gunners, because as far as she knew, Preston didn't share that kind of information with anyone. It made her wonder if the Brotherhood of Steel had the intention of using the Transit Center as an outpost, and arriving just after the Gunners was mere coincidence.

"We're really not supposed to share Brotherhood information, ma'am," he informed her, and Ellis nearly smirked at the sudden change in politeness. "But... well, it's not actually confidential, so... I guess it would be okay." None of the others were arguing with him, so he continued. "Scribes ran across a radio signal coming from here and we were sent to check it out. Obviously the Gunners were using it to try to contact their people, but with the threat eliminated, our job is done."

"I see," Ellis glanced past them to where Danse was standing over the body of what appeared to be the Gunner's leader, and saw him gesturing to come over. "Well, fellas, it's been a hoot. Guess we've all still got work to do, so I'll let you get on with yours."

"Yes, ma'am," the four soldiers said in unison as she walked off. Thankfully they didn't stick around, and headed back east and out of sight.

"What'd you find?" she asked as she stepped up to where Danse stood, his brow furrowed in thought. He passed a blood-stained note to her.

"They were looking into the same thing the Brotherhood came here for, though apparently for a different reason."

Ellis skimmed the scribbled writing. "I guess we ought to find a radio and see what's going on, so we know what to tell Preston."

Danse said nothing, just finished looting the corpses for ammo and usable supplies before following her down the only clear escalator and through the double red doors.

There were lights on at the bottom and she eased dow the stairs with her weapon ready, praying they weren't walking into more Gunners. She was no fan of the Brotherhood of jackwagons, but she'd admit they could really put the hurt on their enemies. Having to face another assaultron without them wasn't on that day's to-do list.

As they neared the bottom a moan led them straight across to a man, sitting on the floor holding his side. His angular face was discolored with bruises in various shades of purple, blue, and red, and his eyes were gaunt and sad, a shallow cut over one brow.

"No offense, but you look terrible. "Ellis glanced around to make sure it was clear to move and stepped up to him. "Are you all right?"

"Jesus. Shit. They're gonna die," the man groaned.

The fact that he hadn't answer her question was enough to set Ellis on edge, and the hair on her arms stood up to prick at her skin.

"What happened?"

"Goddamn raiders. I should have known," the man grumbled as if to himself, then looked up at her and said, "Raiders, that's what. Those bastards have my family. You... you gotta help me. Please."

Danse seemed to sense that something was off as well, and he kept scanning around them like they may have walked into the middle of a trap and were about to be surrounded.

"So tell me what happened," she said. At least she could hear what he had to say.

"My family and I ran into some traders a while back... told us they knew a safe settlement... at Nuka-World. But when we got there... found out they were raiders the whole time, just stringing us along. I managed to escape, but my wife and son are still back there. I wanted to get some help and go back for them, but didn't count on taking a bullet."

Her eyes met Danse's and she saw the worried frown that darkened his features, and she knew without asking that he'd noticed what she had; the man's torn and dirty, but otherwise unmarked shirt. No bullet holes, no tears that indicated he'd been in a scuffle... and most importantly... no blood.

"How'd you manage to escape?" Danse asked the man.

"There's not very many of them. Four maybe? Five? And with the amount of jet they were doing to celebrate, it was easy."

If it was so goddamn easy, then why hadn't he brought his wife and kid with him?

He answered as if he'd read her mind. "I picked the lock on the cage they had me in, but one of them came barreling in before I was able to free my wife and son. My wife, Lisa, told me to run, so i did. Now I just got to hope it's not too late to save them."

It sounded plausible. The guy was selling it pretty well. Hell, he might even give Deacon a run for his money, but Ellis wasn't buying it. The guy couldn't outsmart four raiders doped up on Jet? Telling them the name of his wife to make the story more believable was a nice touch. Though Ellis hadn't spent a lot of time in Deacon's company - because Nate had only brought the man around a couple times - he'd followed the same rule that she always had.

 _"Trust your gut."_ And hers was saying this entire thing stank like a rotting brahmin carcass in a super mutant compound.

"Well, let's get you patched up then, and we'll figure this out," she offered as she reached for her med kit.

"No, no... I'll be fine. Save it for my wife and kid, for Lisa and Cody."

Danse had moved off to the side to get a better look down one of the hallways, and he turned back with narrowed eyes.

"We're offering you a way to heal yourself. Why pass that up if you want to help your family?"

The man saw the look on Danse's face and must have decided that the danger in his midst was more pressing than whatever he might face later, and he sighed hard.

"Damn it," he said as he pushed himself to his feet. "Look... you got me. I ain't injured, okay? I just can't do this anymore. The raiders back at Nuka-World put me up to this."

Danse snorted angrily. "I knew it was a hoax."

"Calm down, Danse," Ellis said as she lowered her weapon. "Whatever this is, he isn't faking being scared." That part had been quite clear, though she'd assumed it was because of them standing over him with guns drawn and him without a weapon. She looked back at the man. "Tell us what this is all about."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be posting chapters 13 thru 18 very soon. Just have to finish up editing. :D


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments always welcome! Enjoy.

After Harvey had informed them of the ruse the Nuka raiders played on the unsuspecting and naive, he and Ellis had gone back outside to discuss what their next move ought to be.

According to Harvey - if anything the man said could be trusted, which Danse highly doubted - the raiders back in Nuka-World numbered well into the hundreds, if not more. There were three different gangs, all with their own agendas, and every one of them far more dangerous than the worst of the raiders around Boston could ever hope to be.

"We need to wait, Ellis," Danse advised. "They outnumber us to the point that we wouldn't stand a chance against them. We need to inform Nate, resupply ourselves and find backup, if he gives the go-ahead."

He didn't miss the way Ellis yet again tensed when he mentioned her husband, and it made him wish he hadn't. But it was necessary. Nate led the Minutemen, and it was his call what they ought to do about this potential threat. If what Harvey said was true about the depth of their bloodlust, then these raiders could destroy everything the Commonwealth had been trying to build, everything the Minutemen and the Brotherhood were working fix.

"Waiting is a mistake. If they're as dangerous as Harvey says they are, then we can't give them more time to change their minds and invade us," Ellis argued. "Take the initiative, that's what you always say."

"Don't try using my own words against me. You, of all people, know damn well that strategy is just as important as action. They've been sitting pretty in Nuka-World for a long time now. They're not going to want to pack up and just leave such a gold mine to risk coming here and finding nothing of equal value to them. We have time. Trust me."

Ellis shook her head, hazel eyes studying him as she mulled over his words. It made him nervous. Not just because she might decide not to follow his advice, but also because of the way she regarded him.

He didn't understand how just a simple look from her could set his stomach into knots, his skin heating and his nerves dancing like he'd grabbed a live wire, and yet at the same time he felt as confident and powerful as he had the day he'd stepped into his very first suit of power armor - excited, but entirely sure that he was where he was meant to be.

"I suppose we could change the password on the terminal so no one can access it," she seemed to be thinking out loud and didn't wait for him to reply. "Though they might be able to send a train from the other end of the line..."

Being around Ellis gave him feelings he'd never experienced with another human being. Not even Nate.

_Why?_

He'd like to think it was simply because she had learned his identity and not made a big deal out of it. Yes, Haylen and Nate both accepted it easily and even supported him, but they were constantly trying to reassure him that he was as valid and special to them as he'd been prior to the reveal, and that he wasn't a monster.

Ellis had done neither.

She'd listened, accepted, and moved on. She never questioned his motive for wanting to travel with her, never looked at him as if he might break at any moment. She hadn't once tried to get him to talk about his feelings concerning what he was. She just heard him out and trusted if he needed help, he'd ask.

He couldn't begin to tell her how much he appreciated that confidence in him.

But it was the way she made him feel all tingly and scatterbrained that was most unsettling, and that was the part he tried not to show.

Ellis was a special woman, both in body and soul. She was kind when she could be, tough when she had to be, and sexy as hell while doing both. He couldn't deny - to himself, anyway - that he'd been attracted to her since the very first time he'd seen her, eyes blazing and ready to fight him if he pushed her.

He was ashamed to think about the times she'd invaded his thoughts and dreams after that day. He'd thought his best friend the luckiest man in the world to have a wife like Ellis, supporting him by doing whatever he needed her to, without hesitation or judgement. He'd never stopped to consider that Ellis might need her husband's support as well.

He and Nate had both been selfish. Danse understood it now, but... did Nate?

Danse was pretty sure that Ellis cared for her husband, or at the very least, their marriage. But he couldn't quite forget the unhappiness he'd seen in her eyes when he'd asked her if she loved Nate. He hadn't meant to ask such a personal, intrusive question. The words had tumbled from his mouth before he'd even realized he'd thought about them. And though he felt guilty bringing it up, he was also glad, because it showed him that Ellis needed a friend as much as he did right now.

They needed each other, and he was at least willing to try to be her rock, since she seemed willing to keep him sane. Right now though, he just hoped she'd be willing to heed his advice.

Ellis stood up and nodded to him.

"Alright, Danse. Let's do this your way," and he couldn't stop the relief and pride that flooded through him at her words.

"Outstanding," hiding a wide grin as he rose to follow her back to Sunshine so they could send a message to Radio Freedom to pass on to the General. It wasn't until they reached the boundary of the settlement that Danse realized he may not have thoroughly thought this through.

What if Nate had taken Ellis's grievance toward him to heart, and wanted to work on their relationship? What if he decided that she should accompany him on his missions, and left Danse behind? What if Nate learned that Danse was beginning to have feelings for Ellis and turned him over to the Brotherhood?

No. No, Nate wouldn't do that.

_Would he?_

Danse wasn't sure what was going on with Nate anymore. After he'd been inside the Institute he'd come back... different. More closed up, and not quite himself. Yes, he'd saved Danse from Maxson's wrath, but he hadn't discussed what had gone on down there with anyone, not even Danse. Maybe coming back without his son would make him reconsider the distance between him and Ellis.

Danse was worried as they stepped into Alvin's office and explained the situation. He barely heard what Ellis and the foreman were talking about as he considered his position.

On one hand there was his best friend. A man who'd risked his life more than a few times to keep Danse alive. Nate had given him a second chance to make a life for himself, and to do it with dignity. Danse respected Nate, and he had no right to come between Nate and his wife.

On the other hand, Ellis was the only woman he'd ever met that had caused him to feel such a depth of emotion and not want to rip his hair out trying to understand those feelings.

He silently cursed. _Idiot_.

Was he mad? Ellis had given no indication that she felt anything intimate for him. She'd never said anything that might convey an interest in him, other than maybe as friends.

And yet...

If the sudden quivering of her body and widened eyes were anything to go by, she'd clearly been affected by the sight of his bare-chested form after coming across him as he was doing pushups one morning, and had nearly choked on her drink of Nuka. Just because he'd pretended he hadn't noticed didn't mean he wasn't aware.

Danse wasn't blind to what his appearance could evoke in people, nor was he deaf to their compliments and whispered comments - commonly those concerned his ass, his shoulders, his chest or his eyes. Mostly, his ass, though. He wasn't ashamed, though he often felt embarrassed.

But Ellis's appraisals hadn't gleaned that same effect. On the contrary, her appreciative, if not somewhat apprehensive, inspections had sent his pulse soaring like a rocket, his nerves sizzling with anxious heat.

_So now what, soldier?_

Respect Nate's marriage and keep his hands to himself, or go after the one woman that made his heart race?

 


	14. Chapter 14

They tried for several days, but Nate had not replied. Whether he was getting their radio messages or not, no one could say, but after the fourth day of radio silence, Preston had given Ellis the okay to ask for volunteers to head off the Nuka raiders.

She could count the participants with one finger. One. That's it. And that one person wasn't even a Minuteman... It was Danse, of course.

"I'm sorry, Ellis," Preston was saying as he stood in her kitchen. "They've got families and responsibilities here they don't want to leave behind, and I can't make them go. We're not an army under obligation, we're just average folks that show up when they can."

"I understand that, Preston," she assured him, "but do they understand how dangerous these raiders are? Just because they haven't shown up yet, doesn't mean they never will. It's only a matter of time before they decide the pickings are easy and come looking."

Preston sighed. "I know. But until that day comes, these folks have lives to tend to. They'll fight when they must."

He left her standing by the table with a feeling of hopelessness as he walked out the front entrance.

Danse folded the book he'd been reading and set it on the coffee table as he got up from his chair in the sitting area. "Don't give up," he said as he walked up to her. Resting his large hands on her shoulders, he slowly turned her more to face him. "We'll put the word out there, see if any of Nate's other friends can help. They've got reason to be as concerned about this as we do."

Ellis was more freaked by the sudden heat pouring into her core at his touch than she was about not having enough people to go up against the Nuka threat, and her breath caught in her throat when she looked up at him. Soft brown eyes twinkled at her as she let him pull her closer, the cinnamon irises visibly darkening with something she'd never seen before.

She swallowed hard and forced herself to speak. "How are you always so confident?"

His powerful shoulders rolled as he gave a shrug. "It's more like... a mask of fear held in place by strings of hope."

"Now who's being poetic?" she gave a weak smile, and his hands slipped from her shoulders to rest at his sides.

"I guess you're rubbing off on me."

She laughed. "Don't let Nate hear you say that. He'll ship me off to another settlement for sure." Danse frowned at the mention of the man, but she ignored it. "Well, I guess I'd better go make those calls, then."

She moved to go, but his hand flashed out and caught her wrist, surprising her with both the contact and the speed. She started to turn back, but only made it half way when his other palm was suddenly cradling her cheek and his lips crashed down on hers, and Ellis raked in a breath through her nose at the shock of it, her eyes closing of their own free will.

Her brain was screaming with a bag of mixed emotions and thoughts, part in favor of returning the kiss, and partly not. She was well aware that his lips were warm and soft, strong, yet not insistent as he pressed them against hers.

_Kiss him back, you fool!_

But she couldn't make her own lips move, because that little voice in the back of her mind kept yelling at her, "Cheater!"

She waited too long to respond, felt Danse tense and pull back, and she pushed her eyes away from his face so she wouldn't have to see whatever expression he wore when she opened them. Her skin turned cold where his hands had been as he let her go and stepped away.

"I'm sorry," she heard him say. "I-- don't know what I was thinking."

Her face was hot with embarrassment and desire, and she desperately wanted to tell him that he didn't need to apologize. That she'd wanted him to do that for days now. Maybe weeks, or even months - since that first time they'd met, if she were honest. But she couldn't. Not until she figured out this thing with Nate.

Besides, it was likely a fluke feeling, on his part, anyway.

Since they'd begun to work together, it was clear they had some kind of connection she didn't understand - and how deeply that went she wasn't sure. It was almost as if they could read each other's thoughts - in the middle of a battle, at least - and they had gotten along pretty well, so far. She might even consider him a friend, if she got to know him a little better. It was likely that he misinterpreted his appreciation of all that as some sort of desire for her, fleeting as that might be. It wouldn't come as a surprise that as soon as he figured that out, he'd drop her like a dead fish.

"I'm going to make those calls," she blurted and left the house as quickly as she could.

She cursed herself all the way down the street to the workshop, where they kept the main radio for the settlement.

What the hell was her problem? Who the fuck turns down a gorgeous man who wants to kiss them?

_Idiots, that's who._

It's not as if it was going to ruin everything between her and Nate, if she did. There was no love between them, so how could it be cheating? She ought to turn around, go back to the house, find Danse and kiss him like it was her last day on earth.

_Hell, it very well could be._

Ellis desperately wanted to listen to the feeling that urged her to return, to take advantage of however long his confusion about his feelings for her lasted, but that damn voice in the back of her mind wouldn't shut the fuck up about Nate, and so she focused on sending out urgent calls for aid instead.

 


	15. Chapter 15

It was just the five of them heading to Nuka-World - just her, Danse, Curie, Codsworth, and Dogmeat. No one else had answered their summons.

As they boarded the train that would transport them there, Ellis glanced over at Danse. He had his back to her, sitting sideways on the long bench seat at the opposite end of the car, avoiding her gaze - as he'd been doing now for the last few days, as she watched him pull back into his shell. 

She couldn't blame him, but it still bothered her. She'd begun to get closer to him before fucking it all up, and now she was feeling alone again, despite having two robots and dog with them.

He'd spent the time before their departure in the workshop, for the most part. Ellis told herself it was for the best. At least with him keeping his distance from her, she wasn't tempted to break her vows to her husband.

The old Nuka World greeting played through the loud speakers as the monorail made its way westward, then everything was quiet for far too long. Curie and Codsworth hovered in the open space at the far end of the car, and Dogmeat was lying not far behind them, big eyes watching the scenery as it went by.

"Danse."

His head turned in her direction, but only enough that she could see his face in profile. "Yeah?"

"I think we need to talk."

"About?"

Ellis's skinned cooled at his clipped tone, and she shivered, despite the soaring temperatures. "What happened the other day. My reaction."

He sat there a moment before looking back out the window. "You're reaction was appropriate and I was way out of line. Enough said." He faced away again. "I suggest we forget it happened and concentrate on the fight that lies ahead."

"That may be a rational suggestion, Danse, but you and I both know that this thing is going to kink our effectiveness if we don't work this out."

Minutes ticked away as he sat there in silence, looking out the window, and Ellis wondered if he was seeing anything at all.

She flinched when the speakers crackled with static and a voice that wasn't prerecorded spoke to them tauntingly, before informing them that not only were they walking straight into a trap, but that he wanted them to "put on a good show", and that if they managed to make it out alive, he had a proposition for them.

"This Porter Gage fellow sounds like he might have a few screws loose," Codsworth said in his proper British accent.

"Well, he is a raider. It comes with the territory, I expect," Ellis replied. "Danse, any thoughts about what'll be waiting for us?"

He cleared his throat before answering, and it sounded odd to her ears, as if he'd been choked up or crying. When he turned to face forward in his seat, his head was bent down as he inspected his weapon and replied, "Harvey told us about the gauntlet, but I can only guess to the specifics. A lot of booby-traps and tricks, is all we know. I suggest we go slow, watch our feet, and keep an eye on one another."

Ellis could hear the strain in his voice as he spoke, and her chest tightened with guilt.

"Do you want to lead, since you have more experience with this sort of thing?"

His dark head shook, his bangs shifting sideways as they fell over the right side of his forehead, growing out of his usual rebel style and looking rather casual. "No. You should stay on point, your instincts have been on target. I'll watch your back."

When the vehicle docked at the station everyone exited carefully, but there was only one man waiting for them on the platform, sitting on a stool at a nearby counter.

"Greetings, Maze Runners," the bald man in road leathers said as he stood up and turned toward them.

Danse stopped abruptly and his eyebrows furrowed in thought. "Deacon? Is that you?"

The other man grinned, teeth flashing as he did a little bow. "In the flesh, Mister Kent."

"Kent?" Ellis asked.

Deacon smiled at her and slipped his glasses down his nose a bit as he inspected her. "Looong story," he explained as he walked up to her. "It's nice to finally meet you face to face," he said as he winked at her over the black rims, "though I can't say it's my first time seeing you."

Why he was pretending they were strangers was beyond her, but knowing Deacon, it had something to do with identity safety, synths, the Railroad, or all three, so she played along.

"That doesn't sound creepy at all," she said as she shook his extended hand.

"What's this all about, Deacon? How'd you get here? And why?" Danse questioned a little angrily.

The shorter, thinner man spun back to face him. "Well, let's just say that I'm here for Nate, _how_ is complicated, and _why_ , is because you two," he waggled a finger between Danse and Ellis, "are in deep shit, and someone has to help you out."

"And that someone is you?" Danse snorted.

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, Kent," he said before turning back to Ellis. "Nate said to tell you that he's sending more guns, but until they get here, we play along with whatever game these carnivorous wild beasts throw at us. Now, I don't like it any more than you guys, but there's way more of them than there are of us, so, you know..." He whipped back around and pointed to a doorway down at the end. "On with the show, kiddies."

Ellis looked over at Danse, but he turned away with a clenched jaw and his trademark scowl, and followed Deacon's direction and walked to the exit.

Or entrance, depending on how one looked at it.

On the wall midway down the stairs the word "gauntlet" was written with what she assumed was white paint, with an arrow pointing the way toward the labyrinth of death.

She'd never had to do this sort of thing before. Most of her dust-ups with raiders had been easily sorted out in the open, where she could clearly see her enemy. Any traps she'd come across had been easily spotted, and rather easy to avoid - for the most part. But here?

Ellis closed her eyes and took a deep breath, telling herself to stay calm, keep focused, and get everyone through alive.

Danse must have known how nervous she was, and though he didn't approach her to speak, he did turn towards her and offered supportive advice.

"They're going to want you to rush through so you get caught in as many of their traps as possible. Don't. You'll feel urgency to move faster as your adrenaline spikes. Ignore it, just like you do when readying to pull the trigger on a target. Breathe steady, and keep them out of your head." She opened her eyes and looked at him as he finished. "Just stay low, watch your corners, and move easy."

She nodded and moved to the front of the group, ordering Dogmeat to stay with Deacon at the rear. "Just a Sunday stroll through the park," she breathed more to herself than to them.

"You can do this," Danse said quietly as she passed his shoulder.

She led them down the stairs, her hands shaking. "Here goes nothing," she exhaled, and moved through the doorway.

 


	16. Chapter 16

There was no telling how far the death maze took them away from the transit station. He'd lost direction with all the twists and turns and traps the raiders had set up to kill them. So far, the only injury didn't seem to be too serious - nothing a Stimpak wouldn't fix once they got out of this mess - and Danse thought they were doing rather well.

Ellis followed his advice, like he knew she would, and kept them moving steady but slow through the gauntlet. Her sharp eyes spotted concealed triggers before they got close, and they were often able to just walk by without disturbing them. He did have to disarm a few makeshift bombs, but it wasn't anything he hadn't dealt with before.

They ran into mirelurks while trying to traverse a makeshift bridge to a nearby door, but some of the planks gave way as more of them passed over it, and Deacon and Dogmeat fell into the irradiated sludge below.

How was it that the mirelurk eggs never hatched until someone came through the area? They always seemed to bust out to attack the intruders, even though they'd been sitting there in a pile of decaying debris and filth for who knew how long.

"Disgusting creatures," Danse snarled as he and Deacon made their way out of a tunnel and into the room above the pit.

"Back before the war, people used to pay to sit in mud baths. Can you believe that? Paying to have that glop smeared all over your body?" Deacon said from behind him, making a sound as he visibly shuddered.

Danse didn't reply, as he didn't want to have the image of lounging in a bath of mirelurk leftovers stuck in his head for the unforeseeable future.

Ellis was up ahead of them, untying frags from thin ropes that dangled from the ceiling, and he frowned.

She was doing a good job of leading them through this mess, and though he was impressed with her quick learning and willingness to utilize his experience, he didn't want her there. He would have preferred to leave everyone at the station platform and come through this on his own, but it wasn't his mission to run, and apparently Nate wanted her to finish this.

That thought made Danse angry.

How could Nate willingly ask his wife to do something so dangerous? How could he risk her life so easily, knowing the odds were against her? Nate should be protecting Ellis from this kind of danger, not asking her to walk into the midst of it.

She'd moved up the hallway and turned the corner, giving them a warning of more frags ahead. As they made their way past barrels, Danse noticed the rainbow sheen of liquid under their feet, the scent of fuel lingering in the air.

"Gas all over the floor," he warned everyone.

Soon, Ellis had all the frag grenades removed and handed them back to the others, before moving towards the door at the end of the hall. It was one of those metal security types. The ones that only opened from one side.

Something didn't feel right as Danse stepped closer, and his gut twisted in trepidation as the door slammed closed just as Ellis moved past it, locking everyone else outside in the hallway.

He could see her through the little window as she whipped around to see what had happened, and he moved up closer. She started forward as if to open the door, her eyes searching for a handle or a button of some kind, but then she stopped. A look of puzzlement knitted her brows and Danse saw her raise a hand to cover her mouth as she hunched a bit and began to cough.

"Gas leak," he heard her manage to croak out.

He saw a room full of terminals and machines behind her, and pointed toward it, hoping she could hear him through the glass and her coughing. "Get to the terminal!" Maybe it would open the door, or at least turn off the gas that was now pouring into the room.

Deacon began to let loose a string of curses behind him as Danse watched Ellis rush to another door and inside the little room. She bent over the terminal, but before she could do anything, some radroaches popped up out of their nest and attacked her. With the gas inside the room, gunfire would be unwise, and luckily she remembered that, pulling her combat knife from its place on her arm.

She was coughing harder now, struggling to maneuver with her lungs filling with the noxious fumes. He could see her swing the knife, barely any power behind it as she fought against passing out.

His chest felt as if it were being crushed by a ton of bricks, and he banged uselessly against the door. Even though he doubted she could hear him anymore, he yelled, "Hurry, Ellis!"

All he wanted to do was get in there and grab her, and get her out into fresh air.

She turned back to the terminal as the last radroach was dispatched, and suddenly there was a clicking sound inside the door as the lock mechanism was disengaged. He shoved against it to open the door, but it didn't budge.

_Goddamn it._

He glanced through the window and saw Ellis drop to her knees inside the room.

_Son of a BITCH!_

"Open the door already," Deacon bit out from behind him.

"I'm trying!" he yelled, as he put both hands against the metal and pushed. "It's jammed or something."

He glanced in at Ellis as her body slumped onto the floor.

"She's gonna die in there if you don't get that fucking door open," Deacon snarled at him, as if he hadn't already realized that. "Stop being Kent. It's time to be Superman!" 

Danse really hated the names Deacon had started referring to him as. The man had been accompanying Nate when the truth about his identity was disclosed, and ever since then, Deacon had teased him about a double life and hiding who he really was, but it produced the effect Deacon intended now.

No matter how disgusting it made him feel, it reminded Danse that he was endowed with traits that the average human didn't possess - because he wasn't average, or a human - and he turned to fully face the door. Putting a foot out behind him for leverage, he leaned in, putting all his weight on the door, and pushed as hard as he could. All he could think of was getting to Ellis.

_Save her. If you never accomplish another goddamn thing in life that's good, just save Ellis._

He growled out ferociously, and his muscles began to burn as he forced more power from them, and the screech of metal bending out of shape popped through the air, and suddenly something snapped, a piece of the metal latch went skidding across the floor ahead as the door jumped away from the frame, and Danse burst through before it stopped moving.

Rushing to her, he didn't stop to check for a pulse, or traps, or loot or anything else. He lifted her limp form into his arms and rushed for the exit.

_Let her be okay. Please, let me have gotten to her in time._

 


	17. Chapter 17

Everything was quiet. There were no voices drifting on the air, no sounds of hammers banging or settlers knocking on her door. There was simply silence, and darkness.

Slowly, her thoughts came together and she realized her eyes were closed. She needed to open them and wake up.

Her eyelids were heavy and her body felt strange, airy even, as if she weren't whole or her form was spectral. She forced her eyes open and found herself looking at an unfamiliar ceiling, splotched with tiny specks of faded paint and a broken light. Her eyes flowed downward, toward her feet. They were covered by a pale blue blanket that was more rags than warmth, and she wiggled her toes and watched the fabric move over them.

_That's a good sign, right?_

She moved her hand off her stomach and to her side, feeling the scratchy fabric of a mattress beneath her, and she felt reassurance slink through her. If she was in a bed, that meant she couldn't be dead.

_So far so good._

She turned her head to the left and realized that the walls weren't white as she'd initially thought. It was glass, and she could see the bright edges of sunlight peeking through, but was it rising or setting?

A large cabinet was next to the bed, a suitcase and boxes on the floor nearby, and she wondered where she was at. The last thing she remembered was.... Radroaches. Gas. Choking. Being trapped. Danse, picking her up. Then nothing.

Ellis turned her head to the right. The bed was up on some kind of raised floor, a lamp near the foot, and a chair close to her side. A body was in it, his head drooped, chin nearly to his chest and arms crossed. She studied him for a moment, watched his chest rise and fall, lifting her gaze to pass over his face. Dark circles marred the flesh under his eyes, his lips dry and his nose showing the faint hint of a sunburn.

She worked her eyes over him, trying to commit it all to memory; Dark hair thick and skewed as the length and weight pulled it down, skin marked with scars from old wounds, the bridge of his nose raised in a small bump, chin tapered and covered with untrimmed hair, and heavy brows lowered as he slept.

 _So beautiful._ It almost hurt to look at him. 

Ellis blinked a few times when he dragged in a deep breath, his eyes opening as he shifted to stretch, skipping up to look her and locking with her own. His brows rose with surprised relief, and he scooted to the edge of his seat before leaning forward to push a lock of stray hair away from her face.

"Welcome back," he whispered, as he let his hand fall to the mattress.

Her throat was tight and scratchy when she tried to speak, and he reached for a glass of water nearby, holding it out to her but not letting go. She reached for it, the underside of her fingers brushing against his knuckles as she guided it closer to her lips. Her pulse quickened as she felt the roughness of his skin against hers, recalling the sensation of his hand on her cheek the day he'd kissed her.

When she'd taken a few sips, she let her hand fall away, and he slowly replaced the cup on the table before looking back at her.

"Where are we?" she managed to get out.

"For now, we're in the Raider Boss's headquarters at the top of Fizztop Mountain. But you're safe here, for now at least."

Ellis pushed herself to sit up, and Danse helped her prop a pillow behind her for support.

"Who met their leader?"

Danse nodded. "I did. Then I killed him."

Her eyes rounded. "Killed? Then how are we safe?"

His jaw ticked and puffed out air in a nasally sigh. "Because they made me their new boss."

Ellis's jaw dropped open. "You can't be serious. Why would they do that?"

He sat back in his chair and retold the rest of the events that occurred after she'd passed out. Taking out a swarm of flying ants, the gunfight through the fenced corridor, and his face off with the old boss. The man that had spoken to them over the intercom about the proposal confronted him after that with the offer he'd mentioned, and Danse had no choice but to accept. It was either be the new boss, or have hundreds of raiders at their throats.

"Death by a thousand cuts isn't my preferred way to die," Danse finished.

Hers either. "So what now? How long was I out?"

"Three days. But you need to finish recovering. There's no hurry, we've got time before they might do something." And he relayed to her what Gage had told him about the gangs and them wanting to take over the other areas of the park. "So as long as I can keep dragging it out, it will give Nate a chance to get those fighters here and we might have a chance to end this."

She nodded as her gaze moved to the windows, noticing that the sun was climbing higher, the rays shining brighter through the dirty glass.  
  
"And we're going to do this? Clear out those areas for them?"

He shrugged and made a face. "We'll clear them out, but I'll delay assigning them until I can't avoid it. But if I can help it, it won't be for the raiders." His hand stretched out to rub his knee and rested there.

"What do you mean?"

"Those traders Harvey mentioned," he said, and she nodded that she remembered, "He wasn't lying about that. They're all down in the marketplace... wearing slave collars like they're goddamn property," he spat.

She reached out and placed her hand over his and he flinched, pulling back his hand to scratch elsewhere. The gesture stung, but she smiled softly anyway. "We'll set them free," she assured him, though she had no idea how. "In the meantime, what else is there to do?"

He stood up and stepped down to the main level as he moved off. "Apparently there's a power plant here. If we can empty those parks and then get that power back on, the traders and settlers will have a really good chance to make a decent life here... _If_ we can remove all the threats."

Ellis listened as he scuttled around in a bar area preparing food. She couldn't really see him because of the short wall that separated that area from the bed platform, but it wouldn't have mattered if she could. His withdrawal would be just as painful no matter how small the wall, or how short the distance, and she slipped down in the bed and turned to face the window as tears puddled in her eyes and slipped down her face.

 


	18. Chapter 18

Ellis awoke to darkness, but she immediately recalled where she was when her eyes opened and she saw the moon shining outside the curved windows by the bed. She rolled to her opposite side and moved towards the edge of the mattress, pushing herself up. She wobbled on her feet, and had to reach out and grab the stand of the floor lamp for support. As the dizziness passed, she heard rustling from the other side of the wall and leaned closer to peek over.

Dogmeat was down there, happily snuggled up to Deacon's back, with Danse not far away. Curie and Codsworth were hovering at the other end of the enormous room, doing whatever it was that Handy's did when they weren't floating around crowding doorways.

She needed to pee. Bad. There had to be a bathroom of some type around there - though the idea of civilized raiders was pretty absurd. Still though...

She stepped off the platform and tiptoed towards the door, trying not to wake the others. Sleep was hard to come by in the wasteland, more for some than others. She glanced back at Danse and saw his eyes still closed. Turning the door knob, she gently pulled it open, but it creaked slightly on rusty hinges, and Dogmeat's head came up to look at her. She shook her head at him so he'd stay put, and slipped into the hallway.

No one was around, though there were some candles burning along the hallway. Ellis moved forward on easy feet so as not to disturb the silence. She found a blue door with a restroom sign for females, and pulled the door open. Inside was dark, so she grabbed one of the candles from the hallway and brought it inside the small room, setting it on the floor.

She did her business and was happy to find that, even though the toilets didn't flush, at least one of the sinks was working, and she was able to wash her hands. Picking up the candle, she went to the door and pushed it open, praying it wouldn't squeak, and abruptly pulled up short as a huge, dark form stood in front of her.

She lifted the candle higher, casting the man's face in dim light.

"Danse," she breathed. "You scared the crap out of me."

"Sorry," he whispered. "Dogmeat woke me up and you were gone. Are you all right?"

She nodded, setting the candle back onto the proper hallway table. "Nature called."

He took a short step back so she could move past him. "You first."

Ellis started to head for the room, but stopped, turning back to him.

"Thank you for... everything; giving me advice, being supportive, having my back, and saving my life. I don't deserve your kindness."

His brow furrowed. "Of course you do. I..." His face smoothed, but his eyes hardened. "You've done the same for me."

Ellis stepped closer to him, thankful when he didn't immediately pull away again.

"So you're just keeping the scales even then. Is that it?"

His jaw stiffened and his eyes skipped away for a moment before looking down at her as she moved into his personal space.

"What do you want me to say? That I care about you? Of course I do. Your kindness to me is far more than I'd hoped for, from anyone. I appreciate all your support."

Yes, that's what she had already figured. But dare she hope there was more to it than that?

"Is that all?" she asked softly, lifting a hand to his chest, and she felt him go rigid like a ramrod.

His eyes darted back and forth between hers, flicking down to her mouth and back up, darkening with that same look she'd seen that day back in her kitchen just before he'd kissed her, but this time his hands came up to wrap gently around her biceps as he urged her back away from him.

"You're my best friend's wife. I'd do anything to keep you safe."

Ellis felt icy cold fingers wrap themselves around her heart and squeeze, burning it as her eyes began to sting, and she gave a curt nod as she stepped back and let her hand drop to her side.

"Forgive me," she said with a strangled voice. "I thought--...... It won't happen again."

He stood in the hallway like a statue as she went back into the raider boss's quarters and crawled back into bed. She laid there until well after dawn, and he didn't return.

 

* * *

  
Deacon was on the other side of the counter, whistling away as he made breakfast. Ellis had dressed and was seated on a stool in front of him, listening to his tune and the noises coming through the large hole in the outside wall of the Fizztop Grille. The sun was up, birds squawking on a ledge nearby, and everything could have been so chipper because of it. But it wasn't, and Deacon noticed.

"What's with the Eeyore face?"

She shook her head. "Nothing."

He snorted. "You may be able to fool other people with your distant tone and cool attitude, but you aren't foolin' me, sweetheart. Spill it. What's wrong?"

"I said, nothing."

He slapped his food creation on a plate and dropped it in front of her, the noise cracking loudly on the countertop.

"Danse, huh?"

She glared at him, unwilling to talk about her private affairs with a friend of her husband.

Deacon grabbed two Nuka Cola's and came around the counter, setting one down next to her plate as he took the stool next to her. "Look, far be it from me to judge someone on who makes their little heart go pitter patter, but I just gotta say, you could do a lot worse than Captain Scowl."

She ignored him and picked up a fork, cutting into whatever monstrosity he'd garnished her plate with, and took a bite.

"Besides, if his mood this morning is anything to go by, he's feeling just as frustrated and pitiful as you look."

"What the fuck would you know about it?" she barked at the end of a mouthful of food.

Deacon took a swig of his drink and propped his elbows on the counter. "I know that he broke down a bolted metal door to get to you. And I know that he didn't move from your side for three days while you recovered. Not to mention how he barely ate or slept until you woke up." 

She stared at her food and pushed at it with her finger, forbidding herself to get her hopes up over such actions that could be explained away with a simple explanation. Danse would do anything to keep his best friend's wife alive.

"I was married once, many moons ago, believe it or not," Deacon drawled. "I was a different person back then, did things that were... rotten. My wife... she deserved someone a hell of a lot better than me. But you know what? She loved me anyway, dark soul, evil deeds and all. Why? Hell if I know."

Ellis turned her head and looked at his profile. He was doing a good job hiding the pain in his voice, but she could see his shoulders shaking ever so slightly.

"You loved her." It was not a question, or even a doubt.

He nodded and took another swig of cola. "I really did," then shifting on his seat he said, "But that's my point. People love who they love, and even if you think you don't deserve it, you shouldn't pass it by. Life is too damn short to be miserable and alone."

She let her fork rest on her plate and sighed.

"That's a lovely thought, Deacon. But have you forgotten that it takes two people to have a relationship? And even if my feelings were returned, which apparently they are not, I have a husband, so technically I'm not alone." She shoved off the stool and walked to the open space where the yellow lift stood waiting for use, struggling to prevent herself from losing her composure. "I don't deserve either of them."

Deacon slid from his seat and moved up a couple feet behind her.

"I think they'd both disagree with that. I can't really say in Nate's case, because the dude is soooo closed off to his feelings, sometimes it's hard to get a read on him, but Captain Scowl is about as cryptic as a toddler's puzzle box. The guy's clearly into you." 

She twisted her torso to look at him. "And you're telling me this... why?"

He shrugged. "Honestly? I must be having an emotional response to all the danger we've recently experienced and it's making me sentimental."

Ellis snorted and then froze as the main door opened and Danse entered. Their eyes met for the briefest instant before they both looked uncomfortably elsewhere.

He walked over to where his things were sitting on top of a desk, and rustled through his pack. With his back to them, he said, "I've decided to clear out Dry Rock Gulch first. We leave in twenty." He dropped his pack on the floor behind the desk and picked up his rifle before turning to face them. "Be ready to go," he relayed before walking out without a second look.

Deacon whistled out a long note and turned to go clean up the mess he'd made at the bar. "Daaaamn, he's in love with you baaaaad."

Ellis refrained from commenting and went to prepare her gear, no question in her mind that Deacon was entirely wrong - and/or trying to play her like a fiddle, though for what reason she couldn't fathom. No one was in love with her, and never would be, and she didn't have the heart to keep hoping for a miracle.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are probably still grammar errors, because I'm lazy and rushed through editing in anxiousness to post this. Hopefully my mistakes won't be too noticeable.  
> Chow, until next week!


	19. Chapter 19

Danse had completely taken over leading their little group since passing through the gauntlet, and honestly, Ellis was relieved. She'd never been the leading type, though if she were honest about it, being a follower wasn't ideal - kind of hard to do either when she'd been a loner for as long as she had. She was more than willing to step to the side and let him do what he was best at.

He set up their team in a manner that utilized their individual strengths, and they pushed through the Gulch at a steady pace, taking out giant bloodworms, oversized ants, and a few stingwings.

They came across dozens of skeletons over the course of their task, of both Nuka visitors and employees. The scenes painted a morose, if not repulsive picture in some areas. They read the notes on several bodies of fallen traders - most found inside the mine - and those, too, painted a grisly story.

The raiders had run them out of the main area of the park, and they had been trying to fight back, to stand their ground. But they were overwhelmed by the numbers against them and fell back to other park areas, only to have been attacked and killed by the creatures that invested it.

_Fucking raiders.  
_

It wasn't until after they'd finally cleaned out the mine that Deacon found a hidden area of the park while he was snooping around. 

"It really would be nice if we had some kind of map," Deacon remarked. "You know, so we know where the hell we're going." He hopped up onto the wall and looked down into the new space. "Are we going down there? Seeing as it's inaccessible without the Nuka bottle to reach it, it technically doesn't pose a threat. I mean, we could probably skip it, right?"

Closed off by the thick concrete walls, the only way into it was to use a Nuka bottle sculpture that had fallen over, and climb up the rocks behind it. The area was a good size, with several buildings that resembled warehouses, and what might be a workshop.

"Wrong," Danse replied. "If there is a possibility the area is infested, then we clear it out. Remember, we're not doing this for the raiders. This could be a home for all the settlers and traders that are still here, and we can't leave it to chance that the area is secure."

"Fine," Deacon breathed. "But _I'm_ not going first."

Danse snorted and dropped down onto the roof of one of the warehouses.

"Wait!" Deacon called out, and Danse paused to look back. "If this is the only way in, then how are we getting back out?"

Danse studied the area for a minute. "Deacon, stay put here in case you're right and there's no way out. You can find us a rope or ladder, or something. Ellis, you and the robots are with me. Dogmeat," Danse looked back at the canine, who barked happily in acknowledgement, "stay with Deacon and keep him out of trouble."

The German Shepherd barked again in reply and Danse moved off to the edge of the roof, not even waiting to see if Ellis was going to follow his instructions.

Of course she would - and did - but he could have at least asked her if she was okay with the plan. She glanced over at Deacon  and he gave her a "hang in there" look. Ellis shook her head and sighed before dropping down over the wall.

As their boots hit the ground below, Ellis heard a sound that she knew far too well; the stomach-turning noises of wet, slobbering growls.

_Ferals. Perfect._

"Weapons ready," Danse said as he moved forward.

Ellis kept a medium distance at his back, far enough to give him room to maneuver, but close enough to step in if he needed help, all the while keeping an eye behind them. Ferals had a tendency to attack from the rear after their quarry passed by and left their backs vulnerable.

After a good quarter of an hour killing all the ferals, the place was finally clear and they were able to explore. Danse led the sweep through all the buildings, and when they came to the last one, they heard faint bumping noises from inside a little room. Danse tried the knob but it was locked, and the noise came again.

"Can you pick it?" Danse asked.

Ellis stepped up and pulled out her bobby pin box and screwdriver and went to work, but it was proving too difficult. Crouched down as she was, with her head not far from the door, she heard a new sound.

_Humming?_

She stopped. "Is someone in there?" she asked through the metal door, knocking on it lightly.

She turned her head and put her ear up against it, her eyes flicking to Danse as she listened. He was wearing a frown, his body tense and ready for action in case they were attacked by whatever was in there, but he let her proceed.

The humming continued.

"We're not here to hurt you," she told whoever was on the other side. "In fact, we came to clear out all the creatures. It's safe to come out."

The sounds stopped, and everything was quiet for a moment. Then the lock on the opposite side of the door disengaged and Ellis stood, backing up a few steps as the door cracked open. A man stood there peeking at them, his deep auburn hair unkempt and covered in dust, and big blue eyes alert, but also wary.

"Who are you?" Danse queried.

The man looked at Danse, taking in the soldier's appearance before swinging open the door and stepping out of the bathroom into the main area. He lifted his chin a bit and said, "Hey Jude."

They all blinked uncertainly at one another, and Ellis asked, "How did you end up in there?"

"Something In The Air," the man said and signaled back towards the wall where they had climbed over. "Glow Worm, Run Run Run. Get Behind Me Satan, And Push!" and his hand moved to indicate the little room he'd been inside, and he pointed at the door.

Danse's forehead creased in a confused scowl and he shifted uncomfortably, his hands tightening on his weapon. "That doesn't make any sense. What the hell is the matter with him?"

Ellis shrugged and turned back to the man. "I'm Ellis, and this is Danse. We're here with our friends to clear out the park. Do you want to come with us?"

The man nodded. "Hey Jude Strolling Down The Highway, Flying Home."

_There are those same words again._

Danse shook his head and took another step backwards as he let out a frustrated breath. "I don't understand a word of this crazy talk. Nothing but gibberish from a deranged wastelander."

Ellis stood there for a moment contemplating the stranger's words, something clicking in her brain that she couldn't quite put her finger on. He was definitely speaking English, but the phrases were perplexing... yet he was cramming words together in a way that did sound familiar to her somehow.

"How long have you been hiding in there?" she asked him.

He looked at his left hand and struck the fingers of it using the forefinger of the other, one after another, and then said, "Night and day, Three Coins In The Fountain."

She nodded, then suddenly realization blossomed like a morning glory in full sunlight and she turned to Danse. "It's not gibberish! Not exactly, anyway. They're song titles from before the war!"

She turned back to the man and asked him if he had a family. He shook his head. "Hey Jude I Think We're Alone Now."

_And the 'Hey Jude' words make another appearance. It must be his name._

Ellis frowned. "I'm sorry, Jude. Is there somewhere you can go? Somewhere safe?"

He nodded and pointed to the northeast. "Quiet Village, Off The Wall Mean Old World."

"You mean outside of the park?" she asked.

He nodded again, and Danse stepped closer. "Are you saying there's a way to get outside the wall and away from the raiders without them seeing you?"

"Bye Bye Love, Surfin' Safari," Jude replied brightly.

Danse looked over at her and let out a curse. "Gage said there was no escaping the raiders. I wonder if he knows about this."

Jude's eyes grew a bit round upon hearing Gage's name and he said, "Big Beaver Just Got To Know."

Ellis wondered how much Jude knew about the raider gangs and how well he knew the area. He was obviously familiar enough with Gage's role in the park to understand the raider's status, if calling the man 'Big Beaver' was any clue. He might just be able to give them information that they could use against the raiders, and make it easier to take back the park.

"Jude?" she called, and the man faced her. "How much of this place have you explored? I mean, how well do you know it, inside and out?"

"Super Duper," he beamed. "It's No Secret."

She turned to Danse, a smirk on her lips, "Looks like we found Deacon something better than a map."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've already mentioned I'm taking some liberties with settlement layouts, but I thought I'd just make it clear that for the purposes of this story, all the nuka parks are walled in together. I'm working on "Jude's map" to include with the next chapter.


	20. Chapter 20

Jude had marked a few important places for them, using an old aerial photograph he'd found while out scavenging. From what she could gather of his story, it had been in a picture frame hanging from the wall in one of the houses in a nearby town. Using red paint for danger, and white paint for friendlies, he marked known places of interests. With that info in hand, Danse made a plan to exit the park and explore outside the walls.

Which was fine and all, and Ellis had no issue with that. What she did have an issue with, was the way Danse had begun to treat her; avoiding getting close to her, only speaking to her when necessary, and not holding her gaze for more than a second or two. She was starting to feel like she were one of the ghouls he loathed so much.

Ellis had always considered herself to be a fairly patient and easy-going person, not one to get worked up and temperamental over many things, but she'd begun to question that - among other things - over the past few days. His avoidance was really getting to her, and she'd begun to fidget erratically, not just physically, but mentally as well.

In the mostly quiet moments following their Dry Gulch cleanup, with all that time to ponder her situation, Ellis had come to the conclusion that enough was enough, and once this job was done, she wasn't sticking around.

She'd given her word to help clear out the park for the traders and settlers and she wouldn't back out of that, but once it was finished, there was no reason to stay. She was tired of being treated like an afterthought, and sick of letting people use her - personally and otherwise- and unwillingly to subject herself to rejection any longer. She would go back where she belonged, see if her family home had made it through the bombs. It would do her good to leave all the disappointment behind and start fresh. Life might be lonely, but at least it would be less painful.

Danse was concerned that leaving the park for too long was risky, as Gage would notice their absence and get suspicious. He'd likely come looking for them, and no one could be certain what he'd do - whether he found them, or not. Either way, he'd know they weren't inside the walls, and that could put them at a greater disadvantage. Or worse.

Right now the only thing holding back the gangs from ending their lives was Danse's feigned acceptance as their new leader, and his resulting agreement to clear the parks. If they began to suspect he was scheming against them, all hell was going to break loose. Which was one of the reasons why Deacon volunteered to stay behind with the robots and Dogmeat to run interference.

Or so he claimed.

His unexpected offer to cover for them - and be around in case Nate's people showed up while she and Danse were gone - was far too generous in Ellis's opinion. Deacon wasn't really the kind of person who did things simply because he wanted to make a nice gesture or help out unselfishly. In her experience, he _always_ had a motive.

So it was just the two of them on this trip, Danse on point and Ellis trailing behind him. She gave him the space he seemed to want, walking a good fifteen feet behind his left shoulder. They headed for the north end of the park, toward Safari Adventure. Jude marked a way out there, at the back of the jungle enclosure. The watercourse that fed into the park had softened the earth there, causing the wall to break and crumble away. But it was dangerous through that area. Monsters roamed freely, and judging by Jude's fear of the place, these creatures were going to be a handful to eliminate.

Upon reaching the entrance to that section, they found out why.

Someone had built up some junk walls to fence in the beasts, but the pair was able to squeeze through a space between sections, as the tires on the end of the construction left openings just wide enough for their bodies to slide through, after removing their packs. Once they slipped past the fence, they shrugged their packs back on, and headed off to the left, pausing to take a look at the Safari map posted just inside.

"Looks like a straight shot from here to the back, just like Jude said," Ellis remarked.

Danse nodded just as a bloodcurdling roar filled the air, and the ground shook underneath their feet, and they both looked around to see where the sound had come from.

_A deathclaw?_

Another roar came, but this one was different. A Yao Guai.

Danse peeked around the bushes, motioning her to follow him as he crept along the path toward their intended exit. Ellis followed rather closely behind him this time, not wanting to get separated if they had to make a break for it.

They could hear the two creatures fighting now from inside the arena off to their left, and he signaled for her to keep going, while he watched her back. She made it four steps past him when she heard Danse swear, and she spun just as the lumbering mutated bear came hurdling out into the path, a large green creature on its heels.

The beasts rushed passed them as if they weren't even there, but as Danse shifted to make a run for the stairs, another roar echoed along the pathway as another of the lizards rounded the bend to join in the fight.

The image of the creature began solidifying in her brain, and as she tried to decide on her best move, she saw the thing's features more clearly in her mind's eye. Long face; buggy, beady eyes, and clubbed feet. And though its teeth were smaller, there were twice as many, if not more. Certainly not a Deathclaw, but it was something potentially just as deadly, whatever it was.

_Fuck fuck FUCK!_

"Run!" Danse yelled at her, and they both took off for cover on higher ground.

While one lizard slapped its clubby claws at the Yao Guai, the other came rushing after Ellis.

There was no way - not even on her best goddamn day - that there was enough time to stop, turn, aim, and shoot this thing down. If she paused, even for a second, she'd likely be torn to shreds. Her pulse was pounding as giant footfalls shook the ground at her heels, and Ellis tried to run faster, but it was no use.

The beast was fast - too fast to escape, and taking swipes at her. As her boot hit the bottom step of the stairs it slipped, and she went down hard, cracking her knee on another and cursing.

Danse had already hit the top level and turned back, gun raised, as her head whipped around to see the beast loom over her, its claw lifting in the air to strike her down.

"Move your ass, woman!" he screamed as he sent several three-round bursts into the beast's torso.

It slowed the creature down enough to prevent it from taking off her head, but it wasn't quite enough to stop the swipe of its blocky paw from raking across her back. The contact was like being hit by a truck, pushing her forward and knocking her face into the edge of the concrete stairs, her jaw connecting with a crack, and pain screamed its way through her face and brought tears to her eyes.

Ellis shifted her weight to her uninjured leg and pushed off, stumbling in a hurry up the stairs and passed Danse as he ordered her to hightail it for a diner that sat up higher, atop another set of stairs.

She made it through the doorway as Danse flipped his weapon to full auto and aimed at its head as he backed to the doorway after her. The creature followed up the steps, but slower, until it collapsed in the middle of the concrete picnic area. Just as it fell, the other beast - having apparently killed the Yao Guai - darted up the stairs after them, stepping over its fallen companion and charging at Danse.

She lifted her rifle and sent a few shots into the creature's face as Danse continued backing closer to the diner, but the beast wasn't stopping. Just as it lifted its arm to strike him, Ellis heard the telltale click of an empty magazine, and Danse cursed.

Fear bolted through her, and she lunged forward to grab the back of his jacket, and wrenched him toward her.

The creature's forefoot snapped through the air as the pair fell back into the diner, and Danse's solid mass pushed her into the broken, dirty floor. He immediately rolled away, coming up on one knee and reaching for another clip. His rifle reloaded, he spun, emptying it into the beast's roaring mouth, and it fell to the ground, finally still.

Ellis let her head fall back against the floor, her body complaining with every breath she took, her head throbbing as adrenaline pumped through her veins. It was all she could hear against the quiet of the park.

Danse turned back and knelt next to her. "You okay?"

She glanced at him and nodded. "Yeah, just got the wind knocked out of me."

She got up and brushed the dirt from her pants, her upper back aching with the movement. She cursed, knowing she'd end up with some nasty bruises.

_Not the kind of Nuka souvenirs I'd been hoping to collect._

Danse's eyes raked over her back as she started to turn away to find a place to drop her pack so she could find a can of water to clean up her scraped hands, and his voice stopped her cold. "You're bleeding pretty bad."

"I am?" She twisted her head to try seeing what he was seeing, but it was no use.

"Take off your pack and let me look at it," he ordered, and set his rifle down to lean against the side of a booth seat.

As her adrenaline began to subside and pain receptors kicked in, the lower portion at the back of her shoulder began to scream. She stumbled as her knee buckled and Danse's arm flashed out, catching her under her good arm to keep her on her feet. When she was steady, Ellis flicked her eyes to his momentarily, before stepping away from him.

"Thanks," she said softly, and he nodded as she moved to do as he'd asked.

She pulled her right arm from the strap and dropped her left shoulder toward her hip and let her pack slide off onto the floor, her injury burning at the movement, and she sucked in a breath through clenched teeth.

She tried to take off her outer shirt to get to the wound, but she couldn't move her left arm without pain screeching down her spine and up through her arm. Danse stepped over and grabbed the front edges, carefully pulling it back and down her arms before tossing it over a nearby seat. A wave of dizziness threatened to make her pass out as she saw that blood had already soaked most of the back of the fabric, and had been dripping like large tears.

 _Damn, that's a lot of blood._ It must have gotten her with a claw.

Danse dropped his things by their feet and pulled out his combat knife. "I'm going to need to cut your shirt to get a clear view of that wound," he said gruffly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this story, gatorclaws are based off of [this mod](https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/33736).  
> And... [Jude's Map](https://66.media.tumblr.com/ca8b74add998702a4ab5c380233811df/tumblr_inline_ph4s3tgSnM1wqblum_540.jpg). It's not exact or complete, but hopefully it gives you an idea of what's rolling around in my head.  
> And just for the heck of it: [Safari Zone Map](https://66.media.tumblr.com/7859babcdd295f04e23b992fcbdbbb02/tumblr_inline_ph5v89Id3w1wqblum_540.jpg).


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters 20 & 21 for a weekend treat.

The thought of being nearly half naked in front of Danse would normally have filled Ellis with nervous excitement, but right now all she felt was lightheaded, and it sure as shit wasn't because he wanted to take her shirt off.  

Ellis gave permission with a nod and he stepped up behind her, lifting the garment from the bottom upward. Grasping it, he slid the blade of his combat knife under the fabric and cut it through from neckline to hem with one swift slice, and cool air met her heated flesh, causing her to shiver. Pulling out his medkit, Danse went to a short counter nearby, setting it down to dig inside. He laid several items on the countertop and turned around, sitting against the long edge.

"Back up to me so I can clean it up," he said, and she obliged. "This is going to sting," he warned her a second later, and he pressed a thick wad of antiseptic covered gauze against the wound.

_Son of a bitch!_

The cleaning fluid was cold against her healthy skin, but sent heat scorching through the wound as it killed off germs. Tears formed in her eyes, and Ellis clamped her jaw shut before the pain could make her cry out.

"You don't have to pretend it doesn't hurt," Danse told her. "I'm not going to think less of you."

She took a few deep breaths in and out through her nose before replying. "I guess that _would_ be hard to do at this point." Because who was he trying to kid here? He didn't think of her in any way but as Nate's wife.

Danse's hand paused briefly at the icy bite to her words before reaching into his kit for a Stimpak and a Med-X, injecting them into her healthy skin as close to the wound as he could. He then wiped most of the blood from her back before coating the wound in a thin layer of ointment and bandaging it carefully, silence as his assistant.

As he pressed the last piece of tape in place, he said, "I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I think badly of you, because I don't."

Ellis's shirt was falling down her front, barely covering her breasts. Her lace bra wasn't adding much in the way of modesty, but she turned to face him anyway. What difference would it make? He'd already decided he didn't want her. Seeing her partially undressed wasn't going to change that.

"The way you've been avoiding me suggests otherwise," she said.

Actions spoke louder than words, right?

He sat there motionless, his long legs spread apart and boots making footprints on the dusty floor, trash strewn about. But it was his eyes that held her attention, as they dipped once to her chest and back up to her face, dancing as if he were fighting against letting them drop lower again.

"It's precisely because of how much I respect you that I've been keeping my distance," his voice gritty with tension. "I think too highly of you and Nate to let you do something you'll regret." Danse swallowed hard, his eyes skipping away to peer distantly out of a broken window.

He sat just a touch shorter than her standing height. It would be so easy just to lean forward and press her lips to his. She'd told him she wouldn't make any moves on him again, but the pull she felt to him begged her to break her word. Ellis could feel the heat coming off his body as her body inched forward unconsciously.

"Is that what you want, Danse?" Dark eyes stuttered their way back to her face, but he held his tongue. "You want to keep your distance?"

Perhaps he thought it would be a mistake, that she wasn't good enough for him. Or perhaps he was afraid of something else? How could she know, when he refused to open himself up to her? Maybe if he kissed her again he'd feel differently. If she showed him that her first reaction to his advance had been the wrong one...

Ellis pushed into him, her hips brushing against him as she dipped her head to catch his lips with hers, and she heard him suck in a breath as he jerked back, his hands grasping her arms to still her.

"Don't," he rasped. "You're still high on adrenaline, Ellis, and you're not thinking clearly," he said shakily. "This isn't what you want and you know that." He pressed her away from him, standing up to his full height.

"And you know this because you can read my mind?" she asked rustily. Being rejected a second time in one week was far more difficult than she'd thought it would be, stoking her sarcastic nature.

"Your reaction to me already said it loud and clear," he said as he turned away.

"My reaction that day wasn't because I didn't _want_ you, Danse. It was because I felt guilty. And because I was afraid your desire for me was merely misunderstood appreciation. I'd have been risking what few shreds of contentment I had by kissing you, only to lose them when you walked away," her words came out in rush and she clamped her mouth shut, eyes stinging as she stepped back with an ache in her chest. "And it would seem I was right to fear it." 

His head swiveled to catch her gaze. "How can you think I'd be so desultory? Have I not proven my loyalty to you?"

Ellis frowned. "You've proven it... to Nate. Your only goal has been to keep his wife safe. Remember?" she snapped.

She moved to her pack and crouched to riffle through it for a fresh shirt. Standing to pull it on, it was a struggle to get her left arm into the sleeve, and she growled in frustration as the fabric fought her efforts.

"Here," Danse said as he stepped up to take hold of the garment, and he pulled it out so she had more room to manipulate her limb.

As the shirt fell into place, Danse's warm hand touched her arm, and she slowly looked up at him. "Thank you."

He ignored the gratitude and said, "I won't deny that there is something between us. I've felt it since the first time we met, I just didn't know what it was. But my own desires don't change the fact that you're married to my best friend. How can I be so selfish as to trespass upon what's his, after he's done so much for me? And I know that despite the fact there is no love between the two of you, your loyalty to him is what keeps you there. I forgot that, forgot my place. It was wrong of me to entice you with my inappropriate action, and I apologize."

His hand fell away and her eyes blurred with tears against her will, but she refused to let her chin drop. "Or maybe it's just that I'm not good enough... to want, or to fight for."

Danse's eyes flicked back and forth between hers, his brow wrinkled. "Is that what you think?" his voice harsh as he asked the question, but not expecting an answer. His head gave a little shake as he huffed out an incredulous breath. "I went back on my word to Nate so I could watch your back. I've put myself at the very fingertips of the Brotherhood, just so I could be near you. Does that not speak of my esteem for you?"

Ellis's heart thumped in anger. "Esteem? I don't want your goddamn esteem, Danse! I want you--" She caught herself readying to spill her feelings and snapped her mouth shut, closing her eyes to take a deep breath. Her head dropped and she turned away.

"My what?" he pressed her for more.

Her tongued slowly rolled out and across her bottom lip as she fought to keep her mouth shut and her emotions under control. Ellis shook her head and reached for her pack. "Never mind. We've got a lot of ground to cover today," her voice cracked. "Better get moving."

His eyes followed her movement but he didn't budge from his spot. "Talk to me, Ellis," he spoke easily, almost pleadingly.

She had a mild limp now, as she moved toward the door to pick up her gun from a tabletop where she'd set it earlier, ignoring his request.

"We're losing daylight."

He was across the room before her fingers could wrap around the weapon, his hand pressing her rifle against the table. "No. We're not leaving here until we settle this."

She looked up at him, irritation suddenly igniting in her chest. He had no right to force her to say anything. Not after he'd been pushing her away. But she didn't have the will to stand there and fight. She was tired of trying to love people who didn't want to love her in return, sick of being the one who always gave and never received.

"Keep it, then," she turned on her heel and left the diner, stepping past the bloody, bullet-ridden corpses of dead monsters.

_Keep it all._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like to comment or give me feedback in private - or even just chat about whatever, feel free to email me!  
> vertigox2vertigo@gmail.com
> 
> Until next time!


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to drop a quick thank you to everybody who's read my story. If you've made it this far with me, I'll assume you're still enjoying it, and hope you stick around to the end.  
> Thank you for the kudos - much appreciated. I'm beyond delighted when I see new comments, so don't be afraid to toss me one, or seventeen! <3 :D  
> And we're off!

The sun had already set by the time she and Danse snuck back into the park, the last fragments of light quickly washing out as the day faded away, and they stepped onto the yellow lift that would take them to the relative comfort of familiarity.

Ellis closed her eyes, as she'd been wanting to do since morning, letting her head fall back and then gently rolling it around her shoulders as she blew out a long, bone-weary breath. Her body hadn't ached this bad since the time she'd been thrown by her uncle Charlie's old bronco - the half-crazed equine had nearly killed her that day - and the Med-X Danse had given her had dissipated hours ago.

"Your wound is bleeding again," Danse said as he moved to stand beside her. "I'll put fresh bandages on it after we clean up. Then we can sit down with Deacon and share intel."

She didn't bother to acknowledge or decline, just watched the ground slip away from underneath their feet as they were lifted into the air, pressing her lips tightly together against the desire to tell him where he could stuff his fake concern. What would be the point? He knew she'd heard him, and she had nothing to say that would change anything between them.

In fact, she hadn't said much at all too him since their confrontation earlier that morning, and the tension between them was nearly tangible. He hadn't asked her to explain herself since leaving the diner, but she sensed that he wanted to.

As the lift jolted to a halt, they picked up their bags and Ellis stepped off first, only to pull up abruptly when she heard a familiar voice, and suddenly it felt as if the air had been sucked from her lungs.

_What the fuck is he doing here?_

She hesitantly stepped further into the room.

"Nate?" Her voice crackled as she said his name, and he turned quickly away from Deacon to face them.

An easy smile shone from his face as he walked up to meet them, his golden-brown eyes bright and sparkling... until he saw the six inch long bruise across her jaw and the blood stained rip on the knee of her pants.

"My god," he reached out to her, his hands warm as he took her face into his palms, "What happened? Are you all right?"

Ellis froze at the contact, astonishment holding her momentarily speechless as Nate waited for a reply.

He'd walked in the door to their house many times to find her wearing black and blue badges of combat survival and never once had he shown an ounce of concern. Why was he acting so worried about her now? What was it with the men around her lately? Did she give off some pheromone that induced counterfeit emotions from the opposite sex? Wouldn't be surprising, if that were true. She _had_ always felt cursed. Maybe this was why.

Finally she found her tongue and gave a curt reply. "I'm fine," and she pulled away to drop her pack on the bed. 

Nate's gaze followed her and he saw her back. "Jesus Christ, Ell. You're bleeding!" He turned back to Danse, pinning him with a glare. "What the hell happened?"

Danse's face was pale and strained as Nate approached him, and he spoke ruefully. "One of the creatures at the Safari park attacked us, but she'll be okay."

And then he noticed Danse's pristine condition, and Nate's rosy complexion deepened a shade as his voice grew louder.

"Why is she the one covered in cuts and bruises and bleeding all over, yet you walk back in without a scratch? You're supposed to be out there protecting her! Where the fuck were you when she got attacked?"

Danse's eyes dropped away from Nate's and the corners of his mouth fell. "I'm sorry. I--"

"Lay off him, Nate," Ellis broke in, her voice neither loud, angry nor rushed. "Danse saved my life." She flipped her pack over and dumped the contents onto the bed, her back to them as she began to sort through her things.

No one spoke as seconds ticked by, then she heard Nate apologize to his friend before walking up behind her.

"Deacon told me what happened in the gauntlet. I'm so glad you're okay," he told her softly.

Without looking at him she replied coolly, "Again, thanks to Danse." She dropped her jacket over the back of the bedside chair and turned to step off the platform. "You see, that's what Danse does, Nate," she said as she brushed passed her husband. "He watches over your wife and keeps her alive because he's so grateful to you that nothing else matters to him." Ignoring everyone's scrutiny, she walked out the door.

 

* * *

 

Danse flinched as his own words poured bitterly from Ellis's mouth for the second time that day.

To the others in the room, she'd merely been setting her husband straight, letting him know that he was accusing Danse unjustly, but Danse knew better. Her voice and her behavior may have been calm in reply to Nate, but her tone held a trace of iciness that Danse had no doubt was aimed dead center at him.

The door closed softly behind her as she left them standing there in deafening silence to stare awkwardly at one another, him feeling like the biggest asshole he'd ever known.

Coming from her mouth, the words made him sound callous, as though all he'd ever wanted from her was something meaningless and temporary, and that his only concern was for Nate's welfare - which wasn't quite the truth, but he'd already tried to explain that.

Nate faced him head on, golden eyes narrowed in suspicion, and Danse's stomach lurched.

_He doesn't know anything. Just stay calm._

Nate walked closer to the bar and stopped. "Hey, Deacon?" he called nonchalantly.

"Yeah boss?" the bald man looked up from an old newspaper article, though Danse was sure not a word of it had been read since Ellis and Danse had returned.

"Will you take Curie and Codsworth and do a sweep of the market area?"

_Crap._

Danse didn't need to ask why Nate wanted the man to go at night to search an area that was closed after dark, because he knew exactly what that request meant.

Nate wanted to talk to him in private.

"Sure thing." Deacon and the robots headed for the door, Curie happily remarking about how she could always use more data for her research.

"Dogmeat," Nate gave a quick side nod to the mutt, "go with them."

And all too quickly, they were alone.

Danse walked over to the desk he'd taken to using since their arrival in Nuka World, setting his things down on it and resting his rifle against the drawers. Nate went to grab a beer from the little cooler under the bar. "You want one?"

"Sure," he answered truthfully. He could use one now to calm his nerves.

More like half a dozen. He was a synth, after all. It had always taken more than one beer to give him even the slightest buzz, though the abnormal tolerance had never piqued anyone’s interest. He drank them more for the flavor of the drink and the comfort of the practice, than anything else they might do for him, and now more than ever he wished to hell he was as normal and human as everyone else.

Nate walked over and handed him a dark bottle before retreating to a pair of yellow-cushioned chairs and dropping into the nearest. Danse popped the cap off his beer and went to the other chair, easing down into it as if the fear that was clawing at his insides didn't exist. As if this were just another one of their many nights of relaxation after a hard day of field work.

"Neither of us are stupid men, Danse," Nate started after taking a drink from his beer, "so do you mind if I cut the pleasantries?'

Danse ignored the feeling of impending doom that sat down on his shoulders, and said, "You know I prefer it."

"Excellent. Then I'll just get right to it." Nate looked over at him, eyes razor sharp and piercing. "Are you in love with Ellis?"

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hoping to have another chapter out by Halloween. Until then, happy reading!

The air in Fizztop was stifling, and it nothing to do with the post-war climate, or the fact that it was quickly becoming crowded. It was the tension; thick and heavy as it hung like a wet wool blanket. Since Nate's arrival - a few days past - the whole atmosphere of Nuka World had changed. Everyone was getting edgy and tempers broiled, ready to explode. Ellis could feel the brittle alliances of the park beginning to crumble as she walked through to the Market.

But not just in the park.

The whole Commonwealth team seemed off now. Dogmeat had started pacing a lot, Deacon slipped out at one point and still hadn't come back, and even the Handy's had begun to respond to the shift - Codsworth with his ceaseless hovering in hopes to be of service, and Curie with her constant chattering worries about the dangers they might face. But mostly, the unease in Fizztop oozed from Danse and Nate.

In the past, their relationship had been one of mutual respect and admiration, and Ellis didn't think that had changed, but it was clear the two men had butted heads about something, and it had obliterated the companionable vibe they'd had before.

She wanted to ask them what the hell was going on, but whatever it was, she figured it was none of her business. Maybe Nate didn't like Danse being in charge there and Danse wouldn't back down and let Nate run things. She could only guess, since neither of them were speaking more than five sentences to her after she'd made like a banana the night of Nate's arrival. 

Which was fine with her. After all, she and Nate had already found their boundaries long before, while she and Danse had recently learned theirs. What more needed to be said between them? Everything from there on was simply Minutemen and Commonwealth business, and personal shit was futile.

The only problem was, with all the strain between them, their little group was setting themselves up for a disaster - if the raider gang leaders learned that the cohesion of the team was fractured, they might try to take advantage of that.

But that was none of her business, right? She was merely a tool at the mens' disposal, an extra gun to back them up - when they'd fucking let her.

Nate and Danse had teamed up against her, using their status as General of the Minutemen and Nuka World Raider Boss - yeah, go figure the ex paladin would actually use the title he'd been forced to accept - to make her stay put while they finished cleaning out the Safari Zone, without more backup than two brittle robots and a skinny spy.

Ellis didn't care that she had still been recovering from the previous creature encounter. The Stimpak had healed most of the damage, and though her back was a little stiff, she was fully capable of helping, but they'd restricted her to the immediate area around Fizztop until she'd fully recovered. Thankfully, Curie had just given her approval, because being grounded like a rebellious teenager was making Ellis far more cranky than usual.

Luckily, she'd get to burn some of that rancorous energy off now, as they - minus Deacon and the robots - were currently headed for Kiddie Kingdom, Danse in the lead, Ellis happily guarding the back, and Dogmeat trotting at various distances between the two men in front. The sun was shining, the sky was clear, and Ellis was content to just breathe in the air that was presently radiation-free. Unfortunately, neither lasted long.

The moment they stepped through the archway, a green fog erupted around them, and they had to stop. Before they could even finish swallowing Rad-X, a raspy voice taunted them from the park's speaker system, directing his "performers" to put on a show, and ferals were suddenly rising from trash piles to attack them.

Nate and Danse took the majority of the ferals head on as they wound their way through the various rides, while Dogmeat and Ellis kept their backs clear by picking off the slower ones and the ones that tried sneaking up behind them. Soon, they'd worked their way to the Fun House, and stopped outside to reload their weapons.

Ellis put her empty rifle mags into her pack and slipped a couple full ones into the pocket of her sleeveless jacket. She was just about to slip the sling back over her head when the hairs on the back of her neck bristled, and she turned around to look behind them.

Her eyes darted around, but there was nothing there. Still, the feeling of being watched didn't go away, and she continued to scan the area.

"Something wrong?" Danse approached her, following her gaze.

"I feel eyes on my back." She looked around for cameras that might be aimed at them but saw none. Even if there had been, she knew that wasn't what she'd felt. This particular tingle was the same she always got when someone was sneaking up to stab her in the back, but... there was a different vibration to it.

Nate moved closer to them and looked in the direction they'd come. "I don't see anything. Probably just your nerves."

Ellis looked back at him, not missing the way Danse's jaw tightened and his eyes narrowed at the horizon. "This isn't me being skittish, Nate. I'm not some fucking rookie that panics at a stiff breeze," she snarled. Maybe if he'd bothered to travel with her while she crossed the Commonwealth to do his jobs for him, he might know that about her, but she didn't say that now.

"Okay," he immediately replied in an apologetic tone, "You're right. I'm sure you know what you're talking about, I just don't see anyone, or any _thing_."

She glanced back, running her eyes over the landscape again, that creepy feeling inching through her like a tapeworm. "Well, _something_ is out there," she said softly, and her eyes stopped near one of the bushes farther away.

 _There_. The feeling intensified when she looked at that spot, but she could see nothing. The air was clear, the bush too small to hide anyone behind it. She even looked for the shimmering waves of a Stealth Boy - not that ferals would even remember how to use one, or have the motor skills to work it, but she watched for it anyway. Nothing.

"Whatever it is," Danse said next to her, "keep your eyes on our backs in case it follows us inside."

She nodded, and listened as he headed for the door, her eyes still fixed on that spot by the bush. The door behind her opened and the men stepped inside.

"Come on, Ell," Nate called, holding it open for her. "We have to stick together."

Ellis took a couple steps back and slowly turned away from the unsettling area, but the feeling of being watched didn't cease until the blue door shut behind her.

Once inside, they briefly inspected the room, but there was little there worthy of more than a glance.

Paintings hung crookedly from the walls, faded to nothingness over the years. The Fun House sign was broken, as was the clock on the wall. Red benches lined the side walls, and several old showcases sat empty around the room. The fluorescent ceiling lights were off, but two of the spotlights were still functioning, and a bold blue light shone above the set of double doors. Danse walked to it while Nate tested the single door to the left - soon confirming it was chained closed from the other side. Carefully pulling open the door, they started through a maze of mirrors, and that's when the day really went to shit.

Dogmeat took off ahead of them, barking at a noise, and though Nate called for him to come back, the dog was more interested in whatever he'd heard than obeying Nate's command. When they heard the canine yelp a few seconds later, he cursed at the mutt and went after him.

Danse gingerly made his way along the path, carefully checking to their sides as he worked his way through. Ellis glanced back behind them, watching for traps or something sneaking up on them, but there was nothing. When she turned to continue on, all she could see was mirrors.

 _Shit_. Ellis had never liked this kind of stuff growing up. Fun Houses, Jesters, and Clowns and everything that went with them had always freaked her out. Especially the clowns. God how she hated their out-of scale, painted faces and hideous clothes.

"Danse?" she called, her voice a shade higher than normal.

"Here," he answered from up ahead, and she could hear his footsteps getting louder as he backtracked and stuck his head around the corner. "Sorry," he said. "I didn't realize you were that far behind."

She let out a breath, involuntarily shuddering as she stepped toward him. "Fucking place. I hate this shit."

His brown eyes passed over her and then glanced behind them before turning away. "Better stack up, then. Getting separated in this place could be dangerous."

Ellis instinctively nodded in agreement, and put her left hand on the back of Danse's right shoulder. At her touch, he moved them forward, winding them through the rest of the mirror maze. As they turned what she hoped would be the last of the labyrinth, there was a sign on the wall that pointed to the exit, and she followed Danse closer. She gasped as the floor beneath them gave way, and they tumbled into darkness. The drop didn't last long, but the ground below them was far enough away that when their bodies impacted with it, it hurt. Her boots connected so hard, it jarred her entire body and made her teeth scrape together, but her reflexes were on point, and she bent her knees quickly enough that she prevented any breaks in her legs.

The trap door above slammed closed, leaving them in inky blackness.

_Fuck!_

She winced as she tried to turn toward where she thought Danse might be, a pain shooting through her hip. She heard movement nearby and shifted to face it.

"Danse?"

He groaned, "Yeah, I'm here," and sounds rustled around his voice. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just can't see shit right now."

"Hang on." She stood still, listening for other sounds as he took of his pack and after a minute, something snapped and suddenly there was a green glow, and she could see his hand holding up a chem light, casting faint light down part of his arm. "You'll have to come to me," he directed. "My visual acuity is being reduced to an unacceptable level here."

Ellis walked closer, and her pulse ticked faster as she took in the sight of his face. His eyes were partially closed against the blood that was running into them from a cut on his forehead.

"Jesus, Danse," she breathed and immediately grabbed the bandana she always tied around her lower arm - for situations just like this. "Hold still," and she wiped the blood away before pushing the material against the wound. "Better find a wall and take a seat against it so I can clean that up."

He did, and she set her pack on the floor and pulled out her med kit. As she worked, she ignored the urge to look into his eyes, knowing he was watching her the entire time. He didn't ask how bad it was, or make any small talk, just sat quietly, his eyes flicking over her face. It took her a couple minutes to clean it up and bandage it, and when she was finished, she rocked back on her heels and stood up.

"All done," she said.

He blinked at her a couple times and wet his bottom lip. "Thanks." Nodding, he followed her up and held out the light to look around them. "Now, let's find a way out of here."

 

 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trick, or Treat? ;)

"There's got to be a button here somewhere," Danse said, rather unconvincingly, since they'd searched for half an hour and found nothing; no button, no switch, no terminal, or latch. Not even a goddamn string that might be hiding another trap door.

Ellis growled and smacked the wall she was facing. "There's nothing! We've been over this place four fucking times, and there is nothing here. We're stuck like rats in a box!"

She'd never had any issues with claustrophobia before the bombs had fallen, but since the whole being locked inside a pod and frozen thing, the thought of being trapped with no control over what happened to her... It got to her sometimes, and made her a "teensy" bit anxious: a secret she'd been keeping to herself since exiting the vault, hiding yet another weakness others might exploit.

He moved up to her side and put a hand on her shoulder. "It's only temporary. Just take a deep breath and focus." She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, counting to three before exhaling a bit faster, and she felt his hand slip away. "We're just missing something. It's a Pre-War Fun House, right? They wouldn't have built this if there wasn't a way out," he finished and moved off a few feet to hold the light up as high as he could reach, in an attempt to inspect the high ceiling that neither of them could reach, even if she stood on his shoulders.

Her brows rose as a thought flashed to mind, and she looked back at him. "What if it was built after? There was dead raider in the maze, Danse. What if they built this place to trap settlers? There would be no way out!"

She could practically hear him frowning at her in dark, as her fear took hold of her again.

"I... hadn't thought of that." The light bobbed around as he used the hand that held it to run a finger and thumb over his chin, the green glow tinting his face in a sickly shade. "But I highly doubt that's the case. Look at the walls, and the floor. They're too perfect to be post war construction. Either way, there's no need to worry. Nate will come looking for us. Until then, we keep looking."

Ellis snorted and plopped down on the floor, leaning back against the wall. At least there were no trash piles or broken garbage littering the floor. The paint on the walls was peeling, but other than that, it was clean. _Dusty, but clean_. And empty. No furniture, no pictures. Not even a ceiling light - that she could make out, at any rate.

"Fuck looking," she pulled her knees up and leaned her forearms over them, "Maybe we should just bust through one of the walls."

Danse came and sat down a few feet from her, setting the light in between them while he reached into his pack for a can of water, and after he'd taken a few drinks, he said, "I think that's a bad idea."

 _At least I have one_ , she wanted to snap back. All he'd done was inspect some damn walls and stand around in silence, scowling into the darkness. "Yeah? Why's that?"

"Because we have no idea what's on the other side of them. The most we could hope for is an open hallway, or a room that would lead us out, but what if it's not? What if we break that wall and instead of a way out, we only let in something dangerous?"

She blew hot air out through her nose and silently cursed. "Hadn't thought of that," she parroted, and let her head fall back onto the wall. "So... got any suggestions on how we let Nate know we're down here?" She let her left leg slide down the floor, her left palm dropping to press against the plank floor beneath them.

"Not really," he admitted. "I'd rather not try using ammunition to get his attention, though the sound of gunshots might alert him to our whereabouts. We might set off explosives, or catch the room on fire, or wake up something I would rather let sleep."

"Good call."

They were quiet again for a few minutes when she heard a stomach growl.

"Was that yours, or mine?" Danse asked.

"Yours, I think." She thought back to the last food she'd eaten. It had been quite a while, "But I could eat anyway."

He pulled a can of potato crisps from his pack and peeled off the lid, dumping a handful into his open palm before holding the can out towards her, and she reached for it, her pinky brushing lightly over his index finger.

"Thanks," she said, and held the can in her lap to reach inside for a chip.

Soft crunching was the only sound in the room as they ate their snack, and after he'd taken a few more drinks of water, he handed the can to her. As she accepted it, their fingers touched again, but this time he moved his forefinger out and then up over hers, and she stilled, looking up at him, a silent question on her lips.

What was he doing?

"There's something I need to tell you," he said softly, and pulled his hand back to settle somewhere past the reach of the chem light.

Ellis took a drink, letting the water wash away the salty residue from her throat, then said, "Unless it has something to do with getting us the hell out of here, I'm not sure I want to hear it."

Apparently that wasn't good enough to keep him from speaking, for he sniffed and said, "I haven't been fully honest with you these past few weeks, and I owe you an apology."

"It sounds like you're about to give me an excuse instead," she put the nearly empty can of water on the floor and slid it back towards him.

"An explanation," he corrected. "After the way you reacted to my... advance, I convinced myself that I pushed you away out of respect for Nate and your marriage to him. Don't get me wrong, that _is_ partially true, but it's also becau--"

Something heavy banged on the wall across from them, and they both jolted forward, reaching for their weapons. Another bang, and then another, and suddenly there was hole in the wall the size of a basketball, light spilling through from the other side, and a man's muffled voice could be heard through it.

"Well, what do you know? It worked!" Their guns aimed at the spot as the man bent over, poking his head into the hole to look inside, the light behind him showing nothing but a silhouette. "Anybody looking for a rescue?"

Danse eased up onto a knee and pushed himself to his feet, never letting his weapon drop. "Who are you?"

"Name's Mike. You guys all right?"

"Yes," Danse answered, as Ellis stuck her leg out and flicked the chem light to the far side of the room with the side of her boot. Until they knew more about this man, they were safer not giving away their exact positions.

"Give me a minute to knock more of this wall down and I'll have you folks out of there."

Danse stayed put, his weapon trained on the hole in the wall, so Ellis retrieved her pack before leaning to pick up Danse's. She held the straps out for him, and he slipped each arm through - one at a time, his gun switching hands temporarily, shifting his shoulders to settle it in place - just as the stranger stopped smacking the wall with his sledge hammer.

The hole was now large enough for them to easily pass through, though they'd have to lean down, step high, and it would hinder their aim if they had to shoot while doing so, but it was a better option than being trapped in that room for the rest of eternity.

_And starving to death._

"All done," the man said happily. "You can come out."

"I'll go first," Danse told her in a low voice. "If trouble starts, head for the inside corner and stay there."

Ellis nodded, though she doubted he could see her, and she stepped off to the side.

She watched him approach the hole, peek out, and then step through, blocking the light momentarily as he exited. After a moment of silence, he spoke up. "All clear," and she carefully followed him out.

As her boot hit the outside floor, she looked up towards the two men that were standing a little bit apart, and her stomach jumped into her throat. Her jaw dropped open, and she straightened as her other foot met the floor.

"Eversman?"

Both men looked over at her, their expressions laced with confusion. Mike's eyes widened as he saw her face, and a smile stretched across his lips.

"Son of a monkey's uncle. Ellis Lorelei Lincoln," he was beaming as he walked up to her, and threw his arms around her in a hug. Ellis knew her eyes were as round as a baseball, and she lifted her free hand to give his back a weak pat. "How the hell did you make it through the bombs and not come out on the other side looking like a human raisin?" he asked, leaning back and stepping away.

Ellis gave a cursory glance over at Danse, who was now scowling at them both, his hand gripping his weapon like he wanted to use it.

"Uh... Vault-Tec," she said. "And it's Mitchell now. What about you?"

He moved away a few steps to pick up a small pack that was sitting on the top of an old crate. Shrugging it on, he turned back. "Coma," he said, as if the word was somehow not as sad as it sounded, "with a popsicle chaser."

"They put you in cryo?" Ellis said with a shake of her head. "Fucking figures."

"Excuse me," Danse interrupted. "Hate to break up the reunion here, but... would you mind a proper introduction?"

"Oh, sorry," Mike let out a chuckle and offered Danse his hand, "Mike Eversman, former U.S. Army First Sergeant, and current Bounty Hunter Extraordinaire, at your service."

Danse introduced himself, clasping the man's hand to shake it before adding a slightly menacing, "Former Paladin, Brotherhood of Steel."

Mike made a face, his eyebrows lifting. "Brotherhood, huh? Can't say I'm thrilled to hear that name, but," their hands parted and he gave Danse a good-natured smack on the outside of his arm, "I'm always honored to meet a fellow soldier, former or otherwise. Not many of us around, these days."

The expression on Danse's face revealed his less than impressed state of mind. "As much as I would love to hear about how you two know one another," Danse said, with what might be sarcasm in his tone - it was difficult for Ellis to tell sometimes; he wasn't the most transparent man for her to read, especially when it came to humor, "I'd really like to get the hell out of this place and find the rest of my team."

Mike smiled, "Absolutely understandable," and motioned them to follow.

He led them out into a short hallway and up a set of stairs that looked very similar to the bunker tunnels back in the Commonwealth. That led to another hallway and a door at the very end. When he pushed it open, they were at the outskirts of the park, close to the boundary wall.

It didn't take them long to locate Nate. Or rather, Dogmeat found them, and Nate followed not far behind.

Eversman did a double-take when Nate got close enough to see his face clearly. "You gotta be shittin' me," then he went mute, shaking his head as he slowly grinned.

Nate's mouth pulled into a tiny frown when he recognized the man, but it quickly relaxed as they shook hands. "First Sergeant Eversman. Pardon the shock, I just never expected to see anyone from... before."

"No offense taken," he looked over at Ellis and said, "I couldn't believe I ran into Linco-- Wait... Mitchell?" He looked back and forth between Nate and Ellis and then let out a long whistle as he did the math. "It really is a small world."

 


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit's about to get real.

With Mike's assistance, they finished clearing out Kiddie Kingdom and returned to Fizztop by late afternoon. Codsworth made them dinner, Curie set them all up with Radaway, and they took the rest of the evening to recover.

Nate and Mike sat at the bar, drinking beer and talking about Army stuff. Danse was at his desk, gun parts strewn across the surface as he took his primary weapon apart to clean it, and Ellis sat sideways in one of the booths, sipping on a generous amount of whiskey and occasionally taking part in the conversation. Mostly, she just listened to the men talk, her thoughts pondering over everything that had happened at the Fun House - that strange sense of being watched, but never seeing anyone, and the events with Danse that had followed.

Both incidents were bugging the shit out of her.

They hadn't heard or seen anything but ferals, and Oswald - the glowing ghoul who'd messed with them the whole time - and the feeling of being secretly watched hadn't returned since the original incident, so Ellis had no idea what it might have been.

While that was perplexing enough, the thing with Danse - that intentional finger brush that sent her heart into fits of fluttering she'd done her best to ignore - had her mind in a constant state of agitated operation, as she puzzled over what he'd been about to tell her before Mike had interrupted. What other reason did Danse have for pushing her away? And if it wasn't completely about Nate, did that mean Danse _did_ want more than just a quick fling?

_Thanks, Eversman. Fucking incredible timing with that rescue._

She almost wished they were still stuck in that room, just so she'd finally know the truth.

Ellis let her eyes wander over to where Mike sat with Nate, a stool between them as they talked about their last missions before the end. He told them he'd been in an underground government medical facility just before the bombs hit - first induced in a coma as they waited on some fancy surgeon to perform a restorative operation on his spine, after he'd been shot in the back saving what he'd been led to believe was a civilian. After a few months of recovery, the big wigs in charge had decided to put him in cryo to save their rations and other supplies.

 _That_ , she could believe. Those government assholes had been in league with Vault-Tec the whole damn time, and though there had been some speculation before the war, no one had any proof.

But Mike's story raised other questions in her mind, like why he'd been taken there in the first place, how he'd made it out, and when. How long had he been roaming Nuka world? What happened to the other people in that government facility, and where the hell was it located?

Honestly, Ellis didn't know Eversman all that well. They'd dated briefly - for what... two months? Her "relationship" with Mike hadn't been more than a handful of weekends spent mostly between the sheets of the bed in her temporary apartment, until he'd broken things off before disappearing on a mission he wouldn't talk about. That had been a good while before she'd met Nate, too.

Which raised yet another question. How did they know one another? Nate had never mentioned Mike, or working with any Spec Ops team - not that it would have caused her concern if he had.

Still, reappearing now, after all this time, with such a story as he'd told, and in these circumstances... Something didn't feel right.

But maybe it had nothing to do with Mike, though. Maybe it was just Ellis being Ellis. After all, wouldn't a situation like this rattle anyone's foundation? Having your husband, an ex boyfriend, and the man you were in love with in the same room, at the same time, wasn't exactly a normal occurrence.

Her gaze drifted to Danse as she thought of him again, and she watched him as he carefully worked over each gun piece with a rag.

Even while performing such a routine, simple task as weapon maintenance he was impossibly captivating; every move of his strong hands deliberate, every muscle shifting in perfection. It never ceased to amaze her how a man as intense and rugged as Danse could have such a light hand when touching something he cared about.

Ellis's cheeks warmed as she recalled every time he'd reached out to her, his skin brushing hers, making her body hum with delicious energy. Whether on purpose or by accident, it always had the same effect.

Her eyes dropped into her lap, wishing she had as much control over herself as he did. It was aggravating how he had so much power over her, and yet he was completely unaffected by her.

"Ellis?"

She looked up at Nate. "Hm?"

"I asked you to walk with me over to the Market. I want to pick up a few things before they close."

_Uh oh._

"Yeah," she breathed, hoping no one had seen her staring at Danse. "Okay."

"Let's go, then," he said, leaving the bar stool and snagging his box of caps from his pack.

She slid from the booth seat and strapped her sidearm in place on her right thigh. It was instinctive now, to reach for a weapon any time they ventured out relative safety, and she thought back to all the times she'd left home without one, pre-war. Crazy, how circumstances could change so drastically in an instant. How people could do the same. She glanced over at Mike.

"You coming, too?"

"Naw, I'm good. Think I'll hang out here and have another beer," he lifted his nearly empty bottle to her and grinned. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

She rolled her eyes and followed Nate, forbidding herself from casting a sideways glance at Danse on the way out. Once outside, they headed left around the pond toward the door that led into the heart of the Nuka Raider dealings.

"Crazy, running into Eversman, huh?" Nate chuckled humorlessly as they passed by The Parlor.

She completely agreed, of course. "The odds of it do seem pretty astronomical," she nodded.

His mouth turned down in a worried frown. "The fact that he's even _alive_ is... highly improbable, I think." The sun was just beginning to drop over the horizon as Nate stopped and turned toward her. "Listen, I'm not trying to pry, but... How do you know Eversman?"

His golden eyes studied her as he waited for an answer, his expression nothing more than questioning concern.

"We met when I first moved to Boston for work," she started. There was no point hiding the truth from him. Knowing it wouldn't make a difference to him, since his feelings for her were meager, at best. Even if things were different between them, Nate would have no right to be upset about the people she'd known before getting involved with him. "I got my assignments from the same man who gave Eversman's team their orders, and we happened to cross paths a few times."

Nate lifted his chin and dropped his head a fraction to the side. "And that's all? You just knew him in passing?"

Ellis took a breath and shook her head. "No. There was a brief _thing_ before we parted ways for good."

"How did you feel about him?"

She cocked a brow. "I don't see how that's important."

His forehead crinkled as his mouth tightened in a half snarl. "You're my wife! I need to know if the man you slept with before has any influence over you now."

Her lips parted a fraction as she comprehended his words. "You sound fucking jealous," she chided with a frown.

He turned and walked a few paces away, before stopping, turning again and walking back.

"You're damn right I'm jealous!" His indignantly reply left her nearly speechless, and completely baffled. He paused to inhale deeply and said in a softer voice, "Look, I realize that I've been a lousy husband up to this point, and it's taken me far too long to realize it, but... I love you, Ell."

Her chest ached at the words she'd longed to hear from him for so long. But they didn't satisfy her now, as they would have months ago. Before she'd decided to move on and stop hoping for things she couldn't have. Before Danse.

Nor did she trust them. Whatever this sudden change with Nate, it wasn't real.

"You _love_ me?" She shook her head. "Do you really expect me to believe that? After all this time, and after everythi--"

"I know, okay? I know!" he growled. "I've been a total asshat to you, and I'm sorry. I cou-- No, I _should_ stand here all night long, apologizing for everything I've done wrong to you and our marriage, but..." He stepped back, taking a deep breath and setting his shoulders straight. "Listen, I'm just going to come out and say this, so that everything is on the table." She gave a small nod, and he said, "The night I got here, I confronted Danse about what I saw. I made him tell me what's going on between you, Ell. I know everything."

"Everything?" she huffed. "You make it sound like we've had some secret affair going on behind your back for months on end, when the truth is that it's a minuscule list at best, and one that doesn't even warrant disclosing."

"Uh, I think my best friend kissing my wife deserves to be mentioned. Are you going to deny it happened?"

"No," Ellis crossed her arms over her chest and her weight cocked to one hip, "but I'm not going to stand here and let you make something out of nothing, either. He kissed me in a cursory moment of thoughtlessness. It was one time, and it meant nothing. Let it go."

"Is that what he told you? That it meant nothing?" Nate's golden-brown eyes narrowed at her suspiciously, "because that's _not_ what he told me."

She glared at him, bitterness welling within her at Nate's sudden display of possessiveness. After being an absentee husband for the entire year of their marriage, did he really have a right to be acting like he'd been betrayed?

"You just misunderstood him," she responded curtly.

"It's a little difficult to misinterpret the words _I'm in love with your wife_ ," Nate spat, his pupils shrinking in the light of the sun he was facing. He took a moment to temper himself and stepped closer, laying his hands on her arms and letting them slide down to take her hands in his. "Ell, I know this situation isn't ideal. I know you have feelings for Danse, and I can't blame you for that. Not after the way I neglected you, but... But I'm hoping you might care for me, too, and I'm praying that it's not too late for me to make things better between us."

All Ellis could do was stare at him. As irritating, stubborn and selfish as he could be at times, there was no doubt that she cared for Nate. She didn't want to. It would be easier if she didn't. Then she could just walk away from him in this very instant, with no regrets about denying him what he was asking for. But God help her, she cared.

Having never expected to hear these words - from him, or anyone else, for that matter - she found herself momentarily at a loss for words, and even then she could only whisper, "But... Nora..."

He pulled her hands up, tucking them beneath his and pressing them into his strong chest. "She'll always have a place in my heart and my memories, but she's gone, and she's not coming back. She wouldn't want me to wallow in self-pity and despair, and she would be ashamed of me for how I've behaved since losing her. Especially about you. I know you're not her, and our relationship won't be what I had with her, but Ell," he released one hand to reach up and touch her cheek with the back of his fingers, running them across her skin so softly it made her shiver, "I think it could be just as beautiful... if you'll give us a chance."

"And Danse?" she asked hesitantly, and his eyes dropped a fraction, his lips forming a sorrowful smile as he lightly shrugged.

"My only concern is winning your heart. What he does or doesn't do, is on him."

 


	26. Chapter 26

Danse pointed to an area on Jude's map as they stood in a group around his desk, all expressions serious, and Ellis let her gaze flick repeatedly over the men, not stopping on any of them for long.

"Galactic Zone is too large for us to secure thoroughly in just one day. We'll work it in two teams, front to back. Team one on exterior, and team two secures the buildings." He looked at Nate and Mike and said, "Since you two have worked together previously, I want you two with Codsworth and Curie holding the perimeter. Ellis, and Dogmeat are with me." He glanced at her as if she might object, and then added, "Deacon as well, if he shows up in time."

 _I wouldn't hold my breath on that one._ The spy hadn't been seen or hear from for over a week now, and it was anybody's guess where he'd gone or what he might be up to.

"Sounds good to me," Mike said with a smile, but Nate didn't reply, his eyes still on the map.

"Any idea what's in there?" Ellis asked.

"I've been told robots are patrolling the area, but there could always be something more," Danse answered with looking over at her. "Ferals are a possibility. They're everywhere." 

"Weapon preference?" Mike asked. "I'm a shotgun man, myself, but I'll carry whatever you need me to."

Danse nodded and said, "A shotgun is fine. Probably wouldn't hurt to take one of the carbines as secondary, though."

The Pip-Boy on Nate's arm beeped and he lifted it to accept the incoming alert, his eyes scanning the screen.

"Message from the Castle," he told them, and Danse's eyes skipped up to Mike with narrowed eyes, watching him closely as Nate finished speaking. "Preston says the last of the fighters arrived at Sanctuary a couple hours ago. They'll head for the transit center tomorrow morning."

"I hope he's not planning on sending them just yet," Ellis said. They had nowhere to hide them, and they weren't ready for a full scale move against the raider gangs.

"I know of a place you might be able to stash them, if they get here early," Mike offered, and pointed to a spot on the south side of the map. "Grandchester Mystery Mansion. It's large enough to hold a significant number of people."

"We've seen it," Danse nodded, glancing over at Ellis, "but we didn't get a chance to explore it. Is it clear?"

Mike shrugged. "Doubt it. I've seen a gunner or two in the area, but I've never been inside myself."

Nate flicked another control on the Pip-Boy before dropping his arm and looking up.

"Better get it done, then. The raiders aren't just going to sit around on their thumbs and politely wait for us to finish emptying the other two areas. They're already getting pissy as it is. Mason, I can handle, but Mags and Nisha are smart, and I doubt they're going to buy our excuses much longer. Tangling with them ahead of schedule is not on my to do list."

"I'll go," Ellis volunteered. After Nate's talk with her a few nights before, she'd done a lot of thinking before agreeing to give Nate a chance, and since then, everyone's nerves were frazzled. She really needed to get out and blow of some steam.

"Count me in," Mike added, happily.

"No!" Danse and Nate growled immediately in unison, their voices so loud and gruff that it made her recoil a bit.

What the hell was their problem with Mike? Or was it with her? Then again, maybe it was the idea of her being out there with Mike.

She and Nate has already spoken about her past relationship with Eversman, and Nate knew she had no feelings for the man, so whatever his problem was, it wasn't jealousy. She figured it had something to do with whatever had happened between the men, pre-war. That unhappy look on Nate's face when he'd found them at Kiddie Kingdom and seen Eversman, wasn't a face Ellis would forget.

And Danse? If she had to guess at his problem with Mike, she'd say it had something to do with Eversman's fuzzy background. Danse just didn't like people hiding things about their past, and Eversman hadn't been real clear about his. She doubted very much that Danse's refusal was caused by anything personal. Certainly not jealousy. Danse may have told Nate that he had feelings for her, but he sure as hell hadn't said anything to Ellis, so until she heard it with her own ears, she wasn't going to set herself for disappointment by believing hearsay. After all, according to Danse's own admission, he cared about her welfare because he cared about her husband. Period.

She stood there silently and waited for one of them to explain, not really surprised when it was Nate who chose to elaborate.

"We have no idea what's really in that house. I'm sure you're good to go," he told Eversman, "but you've never worked with Ellis before, and I don't want her with backup she's unfamiliar with." He looked over at her and Danse, "I have to stay here in case Preston sends that train, and since Deacon is missing, it falls to you guys."

Danse didn't respond for a few seconds, then he finally said, "Clearing the Galactic Zone is on hold until we get back. Ellis, pack up and let's move out in five."

She nodded and went to gather her things.

Nate followed her across the room. "I'm sorry I have to send you out there, Ell. I know it's dangerous outside the walls, and we have no idea what you're walking into."

She shrugged as she stuffed a couple ammo boxes and rifle mags into her pack, along with her jacket and some food and water. "It's nothing you haven't done before, Nate."

He sighed and reached for her shoulder, turning her so she'd face him. "Yes," he said and stepped closer, and from the corner of her eye, Ellis saw Danse look over at them. "That's why I trust you can handle it, but I feel like an ass doing it, because I promised you I was going to treat you better."

Ellis met his worried gaze and held it. "This is different," she shrugged seriously. "You'd go if you could, but you can't. It's not a big deal."

His hand lifted to press against her cheek as he leaned in and pressed a kiss to the other. His lips were warm and tender, lingering far too long to be a chaste farewell. Pulling slowly away, he said, "I love you, Ell. Be careful out there, and come back in one piece."

There was no way his words hadn't been heard by everyone in the room, and an obscure shiver scurried down her back as she wondered whether the volume of his voice had been intentional, or subconscious.

She managed to nod in reply. "I will," she assured him, and she grabbed her gear and headed for the door.

 

* * *

 

"We're not going to make it back to Fizztop tonight," Danse said as they approached the double doors to the mansion. "I hope you brought your sleeping mat."

She had not. "That's what they make floors for," she said, pulling open the door and stepping inside.

Immediately, a voice spoke out from a speaker somewhere, startling them. They listened to the narration, while inspecting their surroundings.

"Remain vigilant," he said. "This place may appear abandoned, but that doesn't mean we should drop our guard."

"Roger that," Ellis answered as she moved to read a plaque on the wall.

When the door to the next room popped open on its own, Danse went to look inside it, but didn't move through it.

He turned back to her, his expression sour. "I believe this house is set up on an automatic system linked to the audio. If we can locate the controls and shut it off, we may be able to move through the house with no issues."

She nodded. "Sounds good. You want to split up?"

"You think that's wise, considering what happened at the Fun House?" he asked with a cocked brow.

Ellis nodded and looked around at the walls, the stairs to nowhere, and the doors that opened to reveal other walls and said, "Mmm, point taken."

Danse carefully disarmed several traps as they made their way through the house, and Ellis was more than happy to keep her mouth shut and follow orders. They ran into a few turrets, and found a couple secret compartments to examine, but for the most part, the only thing that freaked them out was the creepy laughing of a little girl they saw a few times as she ran down the hall ahead, or disappeared into other rooms.

"My best guess, is some kind of visual equipment timed to the audio system and set up to project holograms," Danse remarked as he moved slowly down the hall ahead of her.

"What? Don't believe in ghosts, vampires, witches or demons?" she asked with a light tone.

"No," he replied. "I believe in critical analysis and scientific facts. Disembodied spirits? Supernatural manifestations?" he stopped to open the door next to him and looked briefly inside the room. "Not possible," and pulled the door closed to move on down the hall.

"So you're not scared?" she teased.

"Hardly," he snorted.

"I take it you're not a fan of H.P. Lovecraft, then."

"Who?"

"Never mind," she sighed. "So, how do you explain all the people who've reported seeing a ghost?"

"Very simple," he said. "Psychological disturbances causing hallucinatory images. Or, maybe subliminal sounds or visual stimuli, created by others to evoke such claims."

Ellis chuckled. "That sounds extremely boring. Way to ruin the Mystery Mansion, Danse."

"My pleasure," he answered, and though she couldn't see his face, she could hear a smile in his voice. He reached the end of the hallway, as it split to run in opposite directions, and turned left. "Careful, the illumination level here is below minimum safety levels."

"Roger." She followed him about halfway down the hall and halted at his heels when he abruptly stopped to listen to a noise. When nothing more came he crept forward.

"I've fought in several harsh environments, but darkness has always been one of the toughest."

She grinned, and said in her best Vincent Price voice, "I was working in the lab... late one night... when my eyes beheld an eery sight." Danse stopped and turned around to stare at her as if she were nuts, and a laugh burst from within her. "Don't tell me you never heard Monster Mash."

"I have not," his expression shifted as he considered her a moment longer. "I suppose this place would elicit fear in most individuals. Fortunately my training prevents-- Wait... what was that?" and he whipped around to point his weapon down the hallway.

Ellis stilled as well, her ears straining to pick up whatever sound he'd heard, but all that she noticed was Danse's suddenly unsteady breathing, and she grinned. A bump from the room next to them drew their attention, and when Danse's head turned, she could see his eyes were wide, and his skin had paled slightly.

 _Not scared, my ass,_ she scoffed to herself.

Suddenly, the door next to him ripped open and the little girl rushed out, passing through the very spot he stood before running down the hall to disappear through the wall at the end, followed by a deafening crash from the other side. Then there was nothing.

After a minute of silence, Ellis moved up next to him and looked over. "Believe yet?"

He didn't answer. In fact, he didn't even speak again until they had reached the attic and saw the little girl disappear through yet another door to nowhere, and he turned to Ellis and said, "You are not to leave my side tonight for even one second."

"Afraid for my safety?" she asked with a raised brow and a smirk. She certainly wasn't afraid for herself.

"Hell no. I'm afraid for mine," he breathed seriously, and brushed passed her, heading back down to the second floor.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... if there's one thing I can say about my writing for sure, it's that I suck at scary scenes.  
> lol  
> Happy Halloween! ...if you partake in such a thing. Personally, I'm only in it for the free candy and watching drunk idiots dressed as batman. ;D


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff (and hopefully some feels) that slow things down for the next 2 or 3 chapters.

She found some dishes in the kitchen that were in decent shape, and decided to make something to eat. The stove didn't seem broken, but the gas wasn't working, and she had no idea how to fix that. Danse offered to take a look, and rose from his chair at the kitchen table - where he'd been sorting some loot they'd found. He removed the flashlight from his weapon and went to the stove, pulling it away from the wall.

"I never pictured you as the handyman type," she said offhand, as she watched him squat down to look behind it. Actually, she had pictured him that way - and a thousand other ways - but he didn't need to know that, because... how embarrassing would that be? "How do you know so much about this sort of thing?" she asked, turning back to the sink to finish up washing a pan.

"Mandatory R&R for field soldiers is not something that came easy for me. I always felt like I was wasting time, that there were more important things that needed to be done than laying around sleeping, or sitting around drinking, so I spent a lot of my downtime in Proctor Ingram's shadow, watching, asking questions, tinkering with parts when she'd let me." Metal clinked together as Danse riffled through a toolbox he'd found in the pantry. "I sort of just picked up on it. She always nagged at me for being underfoot, but I knew that secretly, she loved teaching me." His words were clear, but Ellis detected a bit of sadness as he spoke of his former colleague.

"Were the two of you very close?" she asked.

A moment of silence passed, and then he quietly said, "I thought so," before returning a wrench back to the toolbox and standing up to push the stove back into place. She turned back in time to see him turn one of the front knobs, and gas could be heard escaping the little hole of a burner. A gratified smile crept across his face and he glanced over at her. "Guess I haven't forgotten what I learned," he said, flicking open a gold-plated flip lighter to ignite the gas.

Ellis smiled. "Guess not," and moved the clean pan to rest over the blue flame. She tossed ingredients in as Danse went back to his seat at the table, and they were quiet for a few minutes, each pondering to themselves as they worked on their individual projects.

"So what about you?" Danse asked. "How did you become a sniper? Who taught you to shoot?"

That question brought back a whole lot of memories that she'd rather not recall, but also ones that she cherished, and the odd mix of feelings that ran through her made her sad. Of course, she had the option to simply not answer him - just tell him to let it go - but when she considered that there were so many things of her past life that she didn't have anymore - good, and bad - she decided that even the bad memories were worth telling.

"My father had a considerable level of fear about government conspiracy," she said as she stirred their food. "My parents moved out to a plot of land in the middle of nowhere, on the outskirts of a town whose population pretty much guaranteed that all of its residents were related. His mental stability gradually collapsed, but while he was still a functional human being, he taught my brother and me how to shoot. Hunting, fishing, trapping, tracking, cooking over a campfire... All the things we'd need to survive when the government came to take our home. Of course, no one ever came, but the skills he taught us came in handy later."

Danse shifted in his chair and she glanced over to see that he was leaning back, watching her intently as she spoke. "Why was he afraid of the government?"

"No idea. All he ever said was that they could be listening and it wasn't safe to talk about them." Ellis shrugged. "Like I said, his mental stability was iffy even in my early years. But those lessons gave me a way to sustain myself after my parents died, and then later, they got me a job that kept me fed, clothed, and took me all over the world, so..."

"Working for the government," Danse mused.

"Yeah. My father would have skinned me alive for that, if he'd still been breathing."

"What about your brother? He didn't stay with you after your parents were gone?"

Ellis shook her head. "I have no idea what happened to him." Because he'd grabbed his few personal belongings in the middle of the night on her fifteenth birthday, and left her to make her own way, leaving without a word of goodbye, or a promise to return.

"I'm sorry," Danse said softly. "It must have been difficult to be alone like that."

She shrugged. "It was a relief, to be honest. The grueling lessons and constant apprehension made my father a very difficult man to live with, and he'd turned my brother into a cold, distant, and hard person who never had a kind word or action for anyone. I'm glad my mother passed when she did. It would have broken her heart to watch us grow up like that."

Ellis put the food on plates and took it to the table, where they sat in easy silence. Afterward, she washed up the dishes while he packed away the loot he'd organized, and they left the kitchen. It was getting late, and they both needed to rest after the day they'd had.

Danse had already secured both the front and attic exits, but he wanted to check them one last time, so she followed him back into the main room. He didn't remark on her presence as she trailed behind him, but he did seem uneasily aware. It made her wonder how serious his comment had been, when he'd ordered her to stick close all night.

Perhaps he'd just been joking.

They had gone back through the house after that initial ingress, making sure every inch of it was cleared of trouble - and later removing the dead body of a gunner that had attacked them. After reading the man's terminal entries, Danse had gotten even more somber than back in the attic, but she could only guess why, since he was being his normally closed off self, and so Ellis had just let him be, resisting the urge to ask how he was feeling about the experience.

There were several bedrooms on the second floor, which had previously been inspected while clearing out the house, and Danse walked to the master suite, stopping just inside the door. Ellis followed, and came to stand next to him.

"Still sticking together?" she asked, as his eyes scanned over the interior.

He nodded, and turned to move a lounger up against the door.

"This room has the most space, and that small balcony can be used as an emergency escape, if we're attacked," he reasoned. "Without the parts to repair the turrets we had to damage, this is our only defense. Normally I would suggest sleeping in shifts, but since we barred the exits, I'm satisfied I'll hear anyone who tries to break in."

That was fine with her. She could definitely use a good six hours of rest. Sleeping in three hour shifts sucked, and her agility the next day was always hampered as a result.

The master suite was mostly cleared of junk and debris, and it had a bathroom. With working faucets! There was a skinny chair by a vanity table against one wall, a queen bed near the balcony doors, and a dresser sitting nearby, but otherwise, the room was sparse.

"You want the bed?" Ellis asked, as she stood looking it over.

He came to stand next to her again, his eyes grazing over it before jerking away to scan the room again. "You take it. I'll toss my bag on the floor over by the empty wall."

"You don't have to play the gentleman. I won't break from sleeping on the floor, Danse."

He moved off to put his things down. "I know you're tough," then more quietly, he said, "but that's not why."

Ellis went to the bed and let her pack fall to the floor next to it. "Then why?"

Fabric rustled as he pulled out the padded bag and stretched it over the floor, and she sat down on the end of the mattress to pull off her boots.

"Because no woman shouldn't have to sleep on a hard floor, and you deserve far more than just some lumpy, ruined mattress," he answered, not taking his eyes from his work.

She looked over at him as he sat down in a chair to undo the laces of his boots.

It was comments such as that, that made Ellis think that maybe Danse did care about her, after all. Then again, maybe she read into them further than he'd intended. Even then, he always dashed her hope by pulling away and avoiding her, and frankly, she was fucking tired of not knowing how he truly felt about her for certain - no matter how painful it might be.

Forgetting - or maybe ignoring - the fact that she'd already decided pursuing a relationship with the man would be a heartbreaking waste of her time, she blurted out the words before she could second guess herself.

"Nate told me what you said to him the night he got here," and watched his hand hesitate in place momentarily before she asked, "So who's the liar. You, or him?"

"I suppose the answer to that would depend upon what he told you," Danse said matter-of-factly.

He removed his left boot, placing it on the floor and reaching to pull off the right one, putting it next to its partner, then straightening in the chair, his head lifting to look her in the eye.

She studied him for a moment, and then looked away. He obviously didn't want to give her a straight answer, so what was the point in pushing for the truth? She cursed at herself for even bringing it up, especially after she'd decided to stop trying to find what was never meant to be hers in the first place.

Rising from the bed, she dug inside her pack for her toothbrush and washcloth, and went to make use of the bathroom sink's running water.


	28. Chapter 28

Something warm brushed against Ellis's chin, startling her awake. Her hand automatically reached for the gun she'd tucked under her pillow before she'd even fully sat upright. Her eyes jerked open to find Danse standing at her bedside, his unzipped sleeping bag clutched in his hands as he attempted to lay it over her.

"What are you doing?" she asked, as she pushed her weapon back in place and straightened to rub her eyes.

"You're teeth were chattering," he said, "I thought this might help."

Plausible. Her thin jacket wasn't the warmest item currently in her possession, and it did very little to keep out the chilly night air.

"I appreciate the thought, Danse, but you'll only end up suffering in my place," she said, as she lifted the edge of his bag to hand it back to him.

Moonlight streamed through the double glass doors that led to the balcony, and she had no trouble seeing him shake his head.

"Better me than you," and he moved to return to his place on the now bare floor.

Ellis wasn't having that. Whether his comment was based on that not-quite-buried self-loathing crap over his identity, or something else, she wasn't going to watch him suffer because she hadn't been prepared the way she'd been taught to. It was her fault, and she wasn't going to let him punish himself for her oversight.

"Negative, soldier," she said, getting up and pulling the yellow bag with her. She caught up to him before he'd taken more than a few steps, and he turned to face her. Pushing the bag against his chest, his hands instinctively reached to hold it. She let go and said, "I'm not letting you sacrifice anything else because of me. You're not responsible for anyone but yourself, regardless of how much you respect Nate. My welfare is not your concern."

She returned to bed, pulling her jacket back over her shoulders and scooting to bend her knees as she rolled to her side away from him. The room was silent as she looked out the glass panes of the door, and forced herself to steady her breathing. She'd meant what she said, and hoped that it would finally stop him from making these kind of benevolent gestures... Because they only caused her pain when they led her, heart first, into a meat grinder of nothingness.

Footsteps approached the bed, and the air whirled around her as he flipped the bag back over her.

"You can fight me on this, or accept it and get some rest. It's up to you," he said, as she turned her head back to look at him, "and I can do this all night."

His voice was calm, but entirely stern, and she knew that he meant what he said.

_Damn, he's as stubborn as a mule._

But she wasn't going to lay there, enveloped by his cloak of snuggly warmness, while he shivered and suffered on the other side of the room.

"All right, I'll keep it," she gave in, "but only if you stay with me and use it, too. Otherwise, the fight's on," she deadpanned.

_I can be a stubborn ass, too, soldier boy._

Dark eyes flicked away from her, and she saw him swallow hard as he pondered over her stipulation. A moment later, and without word, he shifted to sit down next to her. Ellis scooted over to give him room, turning back towards him to lift the edge of the sleeping bag over his body.

It took them a minute to adjust the bag - and themselves - so that it covered them both, Danse on his back and Ellis on her side. It would likely spook him if she invaded his space, so she got as close as she could get without touching him, and closed her eyes.

She laid there for a good ten minutes, feeling the warmth the combination of their bodies created, listening to the sounds that traveled through the house, as she tried to calm her suddenly jittery nerves and tamp down the indecent thoughts that were blossoming in her head.

_Forget them, Ellis. Simply enjoy the comfort of having him close, and stop wishing for what you can't have._

His breathing steadied, and she thought maybe he was finally falling asleep, so she lifted her chin and opened her eyes to look at his handsome face. She froze, not out of fear or shock, but because of the look in his dark eyes as she found them fixed upon her - soft and scared, and filled with uncertainty.

She said nothing, afraid that if she spoke it would make him pull back into his shell again, so she simply let her eyes wander over his face. After what seemed an eternity, his lips parted and Ellis met his gaze as he attempted to speak. And she waited.

"I... can't keep doing this," he whispered in an unsteady voice, and he sat up, rubbing his hands over his anxious face.

Ellis gave him a moment before pushing herself up to sit beside him. "Can't keep doing what?" she softly asked, not wanting to guess at his meaning, because she was afraid of jumping to the wrong conclusion as a result of her confusion.

"Lying," he growled, and he swung his legs over the side of the bed so his back was to her.

His admission shocked her, because she knew how much Danse despised lying. More than once he'd remarked how the act made him feel no better than an unscrupulous raider. If he'd been lying, he must have thought he'd had good reason. Or no other choice.

"You've lost me," she said, shifting her legs underneath her, her body facing his broad back. "What are you talking about?"

His hands dropped to the edge of the mattress, but he didn't get up. Every muscle in his shoulders and upper back was tense, and his head dangled, chin nearly touching his chest, as he began to shake.

His voice came out barely above a trembling whisper, "You, Ellis. I'm talking about you."

She desperately wanted to reach out and touch him, but feared it would make him close up and retreat, so she simply sat, unmoving, aching with the stillness.

"What about me? I don't understand, Danse."

"Ben."

"Wh-- What?" He may have as well been speaking Chinese, because she didn't comprehend what he was saying, and she blinked at him stupidly.

"My name... is Ben. It's fine if you don't use it... To be honest, it's been a long time since anyone has addressed me by it. I just want you to know everything about me."

As the words sunk in, she said, "Oh... okay," the stillness of the night far too obvious. "I-- I'm... at a loss for words here, I'm sorry." She shook her head, staring at him without a clue how to respond to any of what he was telling her.

"There's so much I want to say," he breathed quietly, "but... I don't know where to begin... how to find the right words."

She considered how to respond, then quietly, she said, "If they're honest words, they're the right words. Just say what you need to say and don't worry about the rest."

When he didn't respond, she though maybe he would just clam up again, but he took a deep, faltering breath and words came tumbling out swiftly.

"I knew my feelings for you were out of line when I let myself act on them," he choked. "Then I pretended I didn't feel them at all, that I was nothing more than a friend... Tried to do the right thing - to stay away and keep this to myself, because I thought it was wrong of me to feel this way, and because I was afraid. I know you care for Nate, and I respect your resolve to hold to your marriage vows. I didn't want you to walk away from either of them because of me, only later to decide you'd made a terrible mistake."

He pushed off the bed and turned to face her, his dark eyes holding her attention. Captivated by the intensity she saw in them, Ellis simply sat, nibbling nervously at her bottom lip.

"But, I can't keep pretending this is just about my friendship with Nate, because the truth is," His expression softened, "I always knew there was something missing from life, though I had no clue what that was until I met you. I didn't think there was room for anything but the Brotherhood. But now that I've gotten to know you... Being near you every day... I feel closer to you than anyone else I've ever met."

Her lips parted in speechless surprise, her throat tightening with emotion at his confession.

He let out a deep breath and sat sideways on the end of the bed so they could see one another, but far enough back that he wouldn't be invading her personal space.

She still didn't know what that meant for them - what he wanted. Did he simply consider them something deeper than friends, but not romantic? Or maybe all he wanted was a physical relationship. She didn't dare hope for more, because he hadn't said the words she longed to hear - and she wasn't about to roll her heart out on her sleeve and ask him to clarify more, just to get it crushed by disappointment again.

Besides, she'd promised Nate that she would honestly give their marriage a chance, and she couldn't go back on her word. Neither could she ask Danse to hang out on the sidelines - waiting for her, and watching her have a relationship with another man, even if he _had_ said he loved her.

Her chin dropped, her eyes stuttering closed as she tried to come up with something to tell Danse that wouldn't hurt him. But there was nothing. Everything that came to mind sounded like an excuse, or a selfish request. A hot tear threatened to slip from her eye.

"Ellis?" Danse called softly. "I've upset you. I'm sorry," his said roughly, and adjusted his leg on the bed to inch further away, making the mattress move beneath her and she looked up to see his brown eyes filled with worry and self indignation. "I shouldn't have put this on you."

"Please don't say that," she pleaded. "It's just that, with everything that's going on now, the timing is..."

"Tactless?"

She offered a frail smile and amended, "Troublesome." Ellis sniffed and wiped a stray tear against her shoulder, her gaze dropping to her hands, clasped together in her lap so tightly that her fingers were making marks on her skin.

"If I'd had the courage to tell you sooner..." He sighed, moving toward the head of the bed and stretching his long frame back in place. He held out his arm as a signal for her to come to his side as he relaxed his body into the mattress, and wrapped his arm around her as she snuggled into his side, her head resting on his shoulder.

"Thank you for sharing that with me," she said. Even if she didn't fully understand his feelings, she still appreciated the fact he'd opened up to her.

"You're welcome. And don't worry, I'm not going anywhere... unless you tell me you don't want me around," his breath skittered over her forehead as he spoke, his free hand pulling the sleeping bag over them.

She took a deep breath and tried to ignore the kick in her gut that counseled her to argue against his words. Wrapping her arm over his torso, she tucked her fingers under him, closing her eyes and breathing him in. Knowing it was unfair to both him and Nate, Ellis held her tongue and prayed they were making the right decision.

As their breathing steadied and deepened, and as exhaustion tipped her over the edge into slumber, Ellis thought she felt his lips brush against her temple before feather soft words whispered into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used to watch old westerns with my dad when I was little, and one of my favorite actors was [Ben Johnson](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0424565/bio?ref_=nm_ov_bio_sm), one of the last gentleman cowboys. Danse reminds me of him, so I thought I'd honor them both by giving Danse a meaningful (to me) first name. If you're interested in more of Ben's background, you can watch [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCjDMQWpD44).


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I prefer working with smaller chapters, but it seemed that the only way to include the two scenes I wanted to put together was to make this chapter 2x my usual size. Hope that doesn't upset anyone. ;)

Not much had happened since Ellis and Danse returned from Grandchester. Well, not much worth noting.

Curie and Codsworth had begun to hold conversations together, though Curie was far more cheerful and speculative than her companion. From what Ellis had overheard one evening, it sounded like Curie had Nate convinced to take her to some doctor in Goodneighbor to try becoming human - and funnily enough, it sounded like the Miss Nanny just about had Codsworth talked into partaking of the idea as well.

But the oddest part of all that, was when Danse figured out what they were talking about. He shocked the hell out of them all by telling Curie that if that's what she thought it would take to further her research and invent medical treatments for the good of mankind, then he fully supported her endeavor, and suddenly Danse was Curie's new favorite person.

Ellis thought that the Miss Nanny might even have a little crush going on, for as much as she'd begun to gush over Danse, readily searching him out for advice and fawning over him - if robots were capable of infatuation. She'd even taken to calling him _Mon Chéri_ , which had sent Ellis's high school French class brain into fits.

Was it wrong to be jealous of a robot?

Another thing that bugged Ellis, was Eversman. She had expected him to leave after Kiddie Kingdom, maybe find a bounty job or two and disappear. He didn't seem in a big hurry to go looking for work though, content to sit around Fizztop drinking beer and listening to the plans they made for Nuka World. Nate wasn't objecting, and Danse hadn't either, though both men did seem to keep tabs on the ex army man at all times.

Neither of them trusted Eversman. _Good_. It made her feel better about her hesitation to believe his story.

As far as Danse was concerned, outwardly, things were no different. It was business as usual - whether in the presence of others, or not. He didn't seem to be avoiding her, like he had previously, but neither did he seek her out, or get too close. He kept everything professional, just as she expected he would, which of course made it more difficult to decipher the meaning behind his confession.

Deacon still hadn't returned, and after giving it a couple days, they considered him a lost cause and cleared Galactic Zone without him. It wasn't a big deal, but an extra gun would have made the assault easier.

His presence might have even lightened the mood around Fizztop - which Ellis would have greatly appreciated - because Nate had been acting rather cool and snippy since their return. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Nate obviously thought something had changed between her and Danse, though he had yet to ask anything about what had taken place there. She'd caught him several times, watching them both with distrust haunting his eyes - speculating, and probably letting his imagination run wild.

She considered talking to him about it, but decided that his problem was not her problem, and that if Nate wanted answers, all he had to do was ask. He had no right to be jealous, or pissed off, even if she and Danse _had_ done something, because Nate had already said that he wasn't pulling the monogamy bit on her. But she wasn't a psychologist, so maybe that wasn't the issue at all.

Whatever the case, Nate was keeping his distance from everyone. He wasn't ignoring her, but he certainly hadn't been as touchy-feely. He mostly avoided Danse, and when the situation called for them to interact, he hardly said much - which was highly unusual, since Nate had never been shy about sharing his opinions or suggestions.

It created an atmosphere of restlessness around Fizztop that made the days feel as though they were creeping by at a snail's pace.

Finally, though, they were at the last piece of the Nuka World parks to fit into place for their plan. Danse wasn't in a big rush to attack it. He was concerned that the size of the location would be overwhelming for their small group, and the original purpose of the facility meant that the interior layout would likely be disorienting at first. So he wanted to recon it, get an idea of what was inhabiting the area, and see about mapping the layout, if possible. Or at least get a general idea.

Jude would've come in handy with that, but no one had seen him since after the Safari area had been cleared, and Ellis wondered if he'd run into trouble going home. Maybe Danse would let her head over to Bradburton when this was done, and check on him.

In the meantime, Danse also had to deal with Nisha. She'd sent some lackey to threaten him into moving things along, and said that if he didn't start assigning the parks they'd cleared already, she was going to send someone named Savoy to give them incentive to speed things up.

Ellis hadn't liked the idea of him going alone, and offered to be his backup, but he'd declined. He needed her to do what she did best, so she promised to get it done right. She thought Nate might volunteer, but with the friction going on between them, it was Eversman who'd ended up tagging along. She didn't like it, but Danse had accepted, so there wasn't anything to do but focus on her mission.

That's why Ellis was with Nate today.

"Looks like two entry points on this side," Ellis said, as she and Nate approached the World of Refreshment. "East one looks blocked though."

Nate nodded at the pile of broken boats, mud and trash blocking the exit tunnel, as they worked their way across the plaza. "Yeah, there's no way we're getting in there."

He led the way around the outer wall on the west side, down along the canal as they headed to the production side of the complex. The water was murky, and the earth littered with various sized rocks, dead grass, some bits of broken wall and other debris.

Her nose scrunched in disgust as they came up at the corner of the wall that met with a sunken piece of road.

"You smell that?" she asked. _Sea water, and wet fecal decay_. Danse always said he could smell the ocean when they were around.

"Mirelurks," Nate confirmed. "We better keep our distance until we get a clearer view."

She pointed at a small red building near the back gates. "Maybe we can climb up to the roof to get a better view?"

There was an old ice freezer sitting up against the side of the boarded up, one-story structure, and it wouldn't be too difficult to scramble up top. The roof looked solid enough, and when Nate agreed, it took them less than a minute to reach a good vantage spot.

The pair knelt down, looking out over the facility grounds. "Shit," Nate breathed, as he scanned over the parking lot, "that's one hell of a mess."

Several mirelurks scurried around inside the fence farther away from them, nests of eggs scattered in corners and along the building walls, large shipping crates and barrels littered the area, and a water-filled pit was gouged into the center of the lot.

"I hope they haven't infested the interior, too," Ellis said. "I don't like the idea of tangling with Mirelurks in closed-in spaces."

Nate shifted beside her as he settled into prone position, his elbow brushing hers. "Well, we've got a few days before we take this on, maybe I could teach you a few things about hand to hand combat that might make it easier."

The sunlight that bore down from the cloudless sky turned Nate's dark blonde hair a few shades brighter, reminding her of prewar posters and advertisements for beach vacations to California, with their sun-kissed skin, blond-haired surfer boys. She had to admit, Nate was certainly a good-looking man. He was built very similar to Danse, though his chest wasn't as deep, or his shoulders quite as powerful. Nate was slightly more slim, and a couple inches shorter, but...

_Fuck, he's handsome._

"I would appreciate that," she replied with an easy smile. "I can use all the help I can get."

He met her gaze and his eyes twinkled against the bright rays . "Maybe you could do something for me first."

"And what would that be? I can't imagine I know anything that would help you."

He rolled slightly onto his left side, his elbow tucked under him for support. Reaching out his right hand to grasp her arm, she yelped as she was suddenly being pulled toward him. She tried to put her left arm out to keep herself from falling on top of him, but Nate rolled further onto his back, pulling her down with him so that their chests were crushed together. With his left hand now free, he slid his fingers around to cup the back of her head, and pulled her lips to his.

Her body instantly warmed at the contact of their mouths and her eyes slid shut, enjoying the sensations that trickled through her at his touch.

Were they really about to have sex? Right there on the roof, in open view of anyone who might pass by? It was something she'd never done, but the idea was certainly enticing. No matter how messed up their emotions were, she and Nate always managed to satisfy one another's bodies.

Maybe it should have felt different to her, now that her feelings for Danse had grown into something she could no longer control. Maybe the thought of being with Nate like this should make her feel selfish, but it didn't. It might have even made her feel guilty, or even dirty - had Danse actually said he loved her and wanted her for himself. Without knowing what he wanted from her, Ellis had no reason to feel ashamed about wanting Nate this way. She cared for him, and he was her husband. Despite his recent coolness, he obviously still wanted her. Why the hell shouldn't she enjoy that?  

And yet...

"What is this about, Nate?" she asked as his left hand released her to slide her rifle from her grasp, before reaching for the buttons on her flannel shirt, slipping them open one by one. "Marking your territory?"

The way the skin around his eyes pinched briefly at her words was evidence enough that this wasn't about Nate laying claim to what he thought was his, but she still wanted to hear the words.

"It's only about showing you how much I need you, Ell," he said as he moved his lips down to her neck, kissing a path to her chest, and Ellis could only sigh in reply. Her shirt hung open, and his hands unfastened her bra to find their way to her breasts, kneading them with calloused palms as his tongue skimmed over her flesh, and she let out shaky breath. "This is only about us," he added, his hot breath feathering across her skin.

Nate grasped her thigh and drew her closer so that she straddled him, and he ground himself against her. The friction made her whimper, as he ran his tongue over a nipple, tugging it into his mouth to suckle it. First one, then the other, and soon he was pushing her pants from her legs, and tugging his to his knees.

Ellis settled herself over him, reaching for his cock and guiding it to her entrance. His hands reached for her hips, but he didn't dare force her to move. He knew better. Ellis didn't mind being on top, but if she was, then she wanted control. His thumbs raked over her hips bones, his golden-brown eyes dancing wildly with lust. They slammed shut as she lowered herself onto him in one steady movement. His jaw slackened, his mouth opening, and a he sucked in a breath until his cock was fully sheathed.

 _My god._ She'd missed this.

He looked back up at her, his pupils blown wide, and pulled her back in to kiss her again, their mouths open and their breath unsteady, their kisses half completed and wanting. His movements were stuttered, his focus askew as she rocked her hips, and he groaned deeply between another kiss.

"It's been too long, Ell," he said when their mouths broke apart. "I'm not going to last long."

That was fine with her. She wasn't going to, either. Contrary to what Nate might think, it had been a long while for her as well.

Ellis pumped herself on his shaft, the need for release building higher and higher with every stroke. His thumb found her clit, and he rubbed it just the way he knew she liked, gently at first, in small circles until her breathing came harder, and then he pressed firmly, faster, more side to side, and she began to pant as her orgasm closed in.

 _Oh God. Any second now._... She let out a moan and rocked harder against him.

"Fuck, Ell. I'm gonna-- Oh... oh shit--"

Nate growled, hot liquid jetting inside her, sending slivers of light bursting behind her closed eyes as her orgasm shook her. A few more faltered rocks and she stilled, trying to catch her breath before moving to right her clothing.

No point waiting around for cuddles or sweet words of love. He'd never given either before, so why would he now?

As Nate pulled his cargoes back into place, she picked up her weapon, lifting her rifle to get a better look through the scope at the farthest side of the complex, taking in the mirelurks there.

"Guess we'll be going through the front," she said.

"Unless we clear them out now," he replied, his eyes still dropped to his waist as he fasted his pants.

Her brow furrowed and she twisted to look back at him as they crouched near the corner of the wall.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Six mirelurks against two rifles... And those are just the ones we've seen. What if there are more down in that pond?"

His jaw flexed and his golden eyes glinted angrily. "I'm tired of sitting around here doing nothing," he spat. "Danse isn't the only soldier here, you know. Exterminating threats is kind of what I've been doing my entire adult life, remember?"

Ah. So that's what this attitude the past few days was all about. Nate thought he wasn't measuring up to Danse, in her eyes. Whether that was just concerning combat prowess or something more personal she could only guess, but clearly he resented the concept. Honestly, she'd never felt that way, hadn't even considered who might be a better fighter - or man, or lover.

Ellis shook her head at the sky and exhaled an irritated breath. "I'm not comparing you to Danse, Nate - not on _any_ topic, and I certainly don't think he's a better soldier than you just because he's been running things here. Jumping into a fight without proper equipment is suicide, and you know that. I'd be telling him the same damn thing, if he suggested this crap."

He studied her in silence and then his eyes flicked back toward the lot, widening as his mouth dropped open. "Oh shit," he pushed to his feet, grabbing the arm of her jacket, and barked, "Move!"

She stepped into action and turned to look behind her just as a spurt of acid flew past her face, and she nearly fell backwards off the side of the roof as she jerked to avoid the fringes of the yellow-brown, toxic spray.

They dropped to the ground and turned to retreat up the hill to the road, but found the path blocked by two of the beasts coming head-on, their claws snapping with every step.

_Crap!_

Nate yelled a curse, popping off a few shots at them, but it had no effect. The mirelurk hunter was closing in as well, and they had nowhere to go but into the parking area.

"There!" he pointed to a set of doors near a semi-truck parked crookedly nearby.

They took off for it, the mirelurks altering their course to pursue them. Nate slowed, sending a few shots behind him as he ran, his bullets connecting, but still failing to stop the creatures. Ellis reached the doors first and tried to open them, but they weren't budging.

_Just my fucking luck._

"They're locked!" she shouted at him, and turned her rifle at the attacking crustaceans.

Flipping her fire selector to full auto, she pulled the trigger and filled the underside of their carapaces until her mag was empty, hoping she'd catch their soft faces enough to at least deter them. In an effort to avoid the shots, the mirelurks veered off to find another approach, but she knew the detour wouldn't last.

Nate slipped around the front of the semi, grabbing the grill to climb up onto the hood out of their reach. That's when he spotted the red barrels at the back of the semi trailer, and yelled at her to climb up with him so he could make use of them.

"Class 3 hazards," he shouted. "Cripple their legs as they get close to them, and we'll let them eat flames."

She’d learned early on that flammables were pretty effective when slowing the creatures down. Apparently, Nate had, too.

As the mirelurks turned back toward her, she knew she wouldn't be fast enough to get them all, but the only chance of avoiding being cut to pieces by their pincers was to slow them down enough to escape, so she did as Nate instructed. Shoving a fresh mag into her rifle, Ellis aimed at their skittering legs, just as Nate slipped his only grenade from its pouch. Tugging the pin out, he pitched it over the barrels just as the creatures came around them toward her, obviously hoping to keep the explosion farther away from her.

Ellis turned to follow Nate onto the truck hood, but the grenade detonated before she made it around the front, busting the barrels with its force. The secondary explosion from the ignited liquid picked up debris and sent it flying outward, and heat sizzled through the air. Something hard struck her in the back like a sledgehammer, as the energy of the blow hurled her into the side of the building.

Before she could pull her arms up for cover, her head slammed into the concrete with a sickening thud, and everything went black.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the less than stellar "performance" but smut is not my thing. I will try to get better at it.  
> May need to watch some porn. lol


	30. Chapter 30

The ringing in her ears was the first thing Ellis noticed. Second, was the hard pavement beneath her as she lay sprawled on the ground. She tried to put her hands under her and push up, but her arms were too shaky to cooperated. Then suddenly Nate was there, his baritone voice indistinct, as if he were underwater, his hands pressing on her frantically, so at least she knew she wasn't dead. As the ear ringing began to clear, she heard her name.

"Ell! Ell! Can you hear me?" his voice was filled with concern.

That was nice. Maybe he actually cared about her, after all. "Yeah."

She opened her eyes and blinked as Nate turned her onto her back.

"It's okay, I've got you," he breathed gruffly. "Can you feel everything? Anything broken?"

The urge to snort derisively was strong in her mind, but her body didn't cooperate. Of course she could feel everything; every nerve in her body was screaming! She groaned as pain shot through her head, behind her eyes and surged into her body, and he pulled her up towards his chest as he hefted her into his arms.

Her lungs felt tight, like she couldn't get enough air, and she coughed a few times and took some deep breaths.

She could hear the fire still burning from the barrels they'd set off, so she knew she couldn't have been unconscious for longer than a minute or two. She could feel the heat from it, too, the light breeze carrying it over them as it blew across the lot. The scent of roasted crab filled her nostrils, and even managed to make her stomach growl.

But that wasn't what held her attention now.

"Nate?" she managed to croak out between small hard coughs. "Are my eyes open?"

She could feel his entire body tense and freeze up at her question. "Yes," he answered shakily.

"That's what I thought," she replied, as if the situation weren't nearly as bad as she knew it was.

Her head pounded as she tried to sit up, and her back felt like her spine had been crushed, bolts of pain snapping out with her movement.

"How bad is it?" Nate asked, as he supported her while she pushed to her feet.

Ellis blinked and turned her head to the left, then to the right. She could feel the warmth of the sun on her face as it shone down from above their heads, slightly shifting into its westward descent.

"Well, I could be dead, or missing a limb, so not as bad as it could be, but... there's nothing but black."

She had no idea how she was so calm. Adrenaline, she supposed. It would die down soon, and then she'd probably fall apart into a raving mass of panic driven shambles. But for now, she was alive, she had no life-threatening injuries, and they weren't currently being attacked, so... she'd take what she could get.

"Anything else wrong?" he asked, his voice even, but she could tell the calmness was forced.

"No. Back hurts, and my ankle feels swollen, but I can move everything. Nothing's broken."

"Good. That's a really good sign. The vision loss is likely temporary, then. You _did_ hit your head pretty damn hard." His unsteady tone wasn't very convincing.

She could hear the chattering of an injured mirelurk, and shifted toward the sound as she reached for the handgun at her thigh, but Nate pulled her away from it and ordered her to keep hold of his arm and follow him.

"Come on, Ell. I'm taking you back to the Grille so Curie can take a look at you."

There was no point arguing. She couldn't see to make her own way back, or fight off anything that might attack them. What other choice did she have, but to run back to safety like a wuss?

It took them just over half an hour to return, which she believed was fairly good timing, considering she couldn't see a goddamn thing in front of her face and had to rely on verbal cues from Nate when a step up or down was needed to navigate changes in the landscape.

Nate guided her through the park and onto the lift, and when it jerked to a stop at the top, he helped her off. That's when everything really began to sink in, as everyone around her swarmed in with alarmed questions - Curie asking her if she felt nauseated or dizzy, Danse demanding to know what the hell had happened, Eversman asking her if she needed anything, and Codsworth doing the same.

Nate led her to a chair and told her to sit, shouting at everyone to back off and give her room to breathe.

"A blast wave knocked her head into the building and she lost consciousness," he explained to Curie. "When she came to, she couldn't see."

He stepped away so Curie could examine her, taking her pack and her weapons as he walked off a ways, Danse at his heels repeating his command to know how this had happened.

Meanwhile, Ellis answered Curie's questions as she listened to Nate retell the events, and the longer Danse remained silent, the more the air thickened around them. Nate finished, and she could practically feel the anger boiling from Danse's furious form. Everything went eerily quiet, and then there was a sharp crack as bone connected to bone, and someone - Nate, by the sound of his shocked grunt - kissed the floor.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Danse snarled fiercely and she could hear clothing rustle as he stepped a bit further away, which she guessed was closer to Nate. You know better than to use explosives in such close proximity. You could have killed her!"

Footsteps fumbled and stomped the floor, and Nate growled back, "I know that! I fucked up, okay? I miscalculated in a spur of the moment decision that I didn't expect to turn out this way."

"Monsieur Danse," Curie interrupted, "I have completed my initial physical examination. Would you care to hear the results?" Footsteps came closer and he assented. "Miss Ellis suffered minor blunt force trauma to the thoracolumbar region, among various inconsequential abrasions. Also, she has a mild concussion, and minor cranial inflammation around the optic nerve, which has caused her vision loss. Therefore, my analysis is that she has great potential for a full recovery."

"So her vision will return?" Danse wanted specific answers, apparently, though whether that was for her benefit, or his own, Ellis couldn't guess.

"I believe it is reversible, yes. But only time will tell for certain," Curie replied.

"Thank you, Curie," he said, before crouching down at Ellis's side. "How are you feeling?" he asked, his warm hand slipping over her bent knee.

"Not quite dead," she shrugged, and instantly regretted the movement as pain shot down her spine again.

Curie floated around behind her, "Do I have permission to administer medical treatment now, Monsieur Danse?"

"Of course, Curie. And continue until they are no longer required."

"As you say," and Ellis felt the stab of a needle as Curie pressed it through the skin at the base of her neck, and she flinched, sucking air into her aching lungs.

And then a voice spoke up that she hadn't heard since returning to the Grille.

"Looks like our little sniper won't be doing any sniping for the foreseeable future," the man said, and Danse's hand gently squeezed her knee, but whether that was in reaction to the statement, or as reassurance for Ellis, she didn't know.

"Can it, Deacon," Nate snarled, and moved off toward the bed, probably to deposit her things in the storage chest she'd been using.

Thus, she inevitably wondered if Deacon's presence and her accident were somehow connected by invisible strings in the cosmos of fate - as if his sudden appearance had somehow set the events in motion; that the universe might be punishing her for his return. It was bullshit thinking, but now that her circumstances had begun to sink in, she was barely holding herself together, while grasping for any explanation of "why her".

"Hey, I'm just saying," Deacon continued, "if we're going to be taking on Nuka raiders soon, we need every available gun we've got. Without Ellis behind that scope, our hopes of picking off the bosses before they know what's coming is drastical-- Well... we're fucked. And if she can't see, she's a liability."

"We'll just have to delay a little longer and hope she recovers by then," Danse said, his fingers dragging across her knee as he rose and turned away from her. "If she doesn't, then we'll figure something out."

Ellis sat silently as they all talked about her as if she wasn't even in the room. Why argue? Deacon was right. If she couldn't see, then she couldn't fight. And if she couldn't fight, then she was only going to be in their way. Being a burden wasn't something that Ellis found tolerable, and being a burden because she couldn't see was even less so. It was one thing to give and take, but without her eyes, what good was she? If there was one thing that she didn't want, it was to put everyone else in danger or use up valuable resources when she couldn't do anything in return.

What else could possibly go wrong?


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I usually post chapters as soon as I've written and proofread, but I'm wondering if maybe I'm posting them too quickly? Anyone annoyed by that?

It had been a week since the incident at World of Refreshment and her vision still hadn't returned. No one was happy about it, especially Ellis. Not being able to see was a huge burden, not just for her, but for everyone around her. She could manage most things on her own, but on occasion, she did need help. It was an inconvenience that no one needed, especially being on the brink of battle with hundreds of raiders - not to mention that Nate still had to take on the Institute.

Ellis was in the restroom preparing for a shower when she heard a voice out in the hallway that led to the Overboss quarters. Using the edges of the sinks, she carefully worked her way back towards the door, and leaned closer to hear who was outside. It was Gage, demanding to speak with Danse in private.

Mm, right. The backstabbing weasel who sold out his old boss. Ellis had only spoken with him once, and that had been enough for her to want to rip his heart from his chest and feed it to a rabid mongrel for what he was doing to the good people there. Harvey had warned them that the Nuka raiders were worse than the average gangs in the Commonwealth, and he'd been correct. The Pack and the Operators had no qualms about killing, even for the fun of it, but the Disciples were even worse. All heartless beasts and bloodthirsty cunts with no souls.

"Boss... We need to have a little chat," the man demanded. "Now."

A moment passed before the door clicked closed and two sets of footsteps moved closer to her position, and Danse asked, "Is there a problem, Gage?"

"Yeah, you could say there's a pretty big fucking problem, Boss," Gage responded. "Things are pretty fucking terrible, in case you hadn't noticed. The gangs have had enough of waitin' around on you to get your head outta your ass and finish up taking over the park. I've held 'em off as long as I can, but they're through listening to me."

Danse's voice held bitterness in return. "I've already explained that I'm down a gun right now, with an injured team member. They'll either wait, or they can go into the factory and clear it themselves."

Not that Danse would lie, but it surprised Ellis that he would be so forthcoming with their situation with a man like Gage.

"Now hang on a goddamn minute," Gage snapped. "I backed you taking over as Overboss. Helped you get rid of Colter. I thought you could be the bad-ass the gangs needed. But, damn... Seems like you're determined to let me down. I get that you ain't no raider, but christ man, you gotta give us something to show you got our backs!"

"I never asked to be Overboss. This was your idea, and I accepted because you left me no other choice. So, they'll either stop complaining and let me do things my way, or--"

"Don't get your panties in a twist." At that point, Ellis was pretty certain Gage was on the receiving end of one of Danse's famous scowls, because then he added in a lighter tone, "Look, they just wanna see some progress, all right? Assign a section or two, and they'll stop bitching for a minute."

Ellis had already wished for her sight back a hundred times since it had been taken from her, but the thought went through her head again as she imagined the look on Gage's face as Danse towered over his cocky visage. It would be priceless to see the smirk fade off his face and slide into discomfort.

"Having your backs is not my first priority," Danse said. "My team comes first, and I'm not going to rush in there to do your bidding, or sign over anything until I've gone over every inch of every park. If you've got a problem with that, then we can be on our way and you can find yourself a new Overboss."

"I told you before, the gangs won't take kindly to you skipping out on us," Gage declared. "Blow this off, and see where that gets you."

"This is the problem with raiders," Danse said. "You all think you're bigger and tougher than everyone else, as long as you've got more rats to back you up. Give you the opportunity to face an opponent one on one and you all tuck tail and run. And you know what, Gage? You're the worst of them. Oh, you'll make a play to get your puppet on the throne, so you can run things in the background without a target on your back. But guess what..." Danse's voice dropped lower than she'd ever heard it, "I'm not some pushover that you can coax to do your dirty work. I've learned my lesson about being other people's puppet, and I don't take kindly to threats."

Every noise in the entire building seemed to vanish as she waited to see how Gage would react.

"This shit keeps up, ain't no one gonna listen to your orders, Boss," the man replied more quietly, a vague note of unease fluttering through it. "You're lucky I'm a patient man, and I can see the bigger picture. But I'm telling you now, get your shit together, or you'll be eating bullets."

One set of footsteps retreated down the hallway towards the exit, heels clacking against the floor. She figured it was Gage, because Danse moved with more stealth, despite his size. Ellis eased the door open.

"Danse?"

Silence met her call, and she wondered if she'd been mistaken, that he'd already gone back to the quarters.

"Yes?" His voice was calmer now, back to his normal, even tone.

"I'm sorry I'm causing so much trouble for you," one of the burdens she didn't want to be. "You'd be wrapping up this mission already, if it weren't for me."

Soft footsteps announced his approach. "It's not your fault," his voice sober. "Just concentrate on getting better, and leave the worrying to me."

Ellis returned a sad smile. "You talk like I've got the flu. If only it were that simple."

"I know it's not easy being benched against your will, but you're tough, Ellis. One of the strongest people I've ever known, and I know you'll get through this."

Her head dropped briefly in a short nod. "Thank you for having faith in me. I'll do my best to get my peepers back online. In the meantime, would you mind having Curie come help me? I need to shave, and eyes make it easier."

"I would, but..." He stepped closer to the doorway, "Well, since you don't need any more medical treatments, and since you've still got a few more days of the time we agreed to wait for your vision to return, she asked Nate to take her to Goodneighbor to see if Doctor Amari would help her with her, uh... inspiration problem."

The announcement hit Ellis a little harder than it probably should have, her stomach pinching. Nate left without saying goodbye? Why would he just skip out like that, after all they'd been through lately?

"Oh..." she took in a breath. "I guess I'll just have to make do on my own then, huh?" and she tried to laugh like what he'd told her didn't bother her. She started to step back and shut the door so she could shower, when he spoke up nervously.

"I-- uh, I could help you... if that would be acceptable."

Ellis gave a nervous, but fully honest chuckle. "I'll kind of be naked in the shower, Danse. I'm not sure you could handle that."

She could just imagine him blushing madly at that statement, and it made her lip curve in a one-sided smirk, until he replied in a husky tone, "I think the better question is... Can you?"

The smirk instantly faded, replaced by rapidly warming cheeks - among other warming things, because yeah, she'd like to "handle" a whole lot more, but obviously she couldn't say that. Something that blatantly suggestive would likely send him running. Unless... Was _he_ insinuating something more?  

"Don't start something you aren't willing to finish," she warned. "I'm extremely tired of having people disappoint me."

His large hand brushed over her fingers holding the door and he nudged her shoulder to make her step back, and she heard the door latch, and the lock on the knob clicked.

"I thought you knew by now that I don't take any task lightly, and I always do my best not to be a disappointment," he said, and she listened to the sounds of his movements as he moved to a nearby bench and sat down, beginning to undo the laces of his boots. "If I'm going to get splattered with water, I'd like to keep my boots and clothes as dry as possible. You don't mind if I take them off, do you?"

Ellis throat tightened at the notion of Danse stripping only five feet or so away from her, and she shook her head like an idiot because she couldn't make her mouth say words. And for the third time that morning, she was wishing her eyes would _just fucking work already!_

Every inch of her skin felt hot as she turned away to find the shower, and she flipped the knobs on to heat the water before stepping back to remove her own clothes. Bare feet padded across the floor behind her, and she could feel him at her back.

"I've only ever shaved myself, so you'll have to walk me through this," he said.

Suddenly, Ellis couldn't care less about the bit of hair growing on her legs and under her arms. All she could think about was the fact that he was at least stripped to his underwear and would see her completely nude, and yet she didn't have the same privilege.

Fucking figures, wouldn't it? He finally stops being so closed off and she wouldn't have the opportunity to sear it into her memory. Fucking universe had it out for, she'd lay bets.

"I don't have a problem telling you what I need, as long as you're willing to follow directions."

As she pulled her shirt over her head, his solid chest met with the bare skin of her back, and he bent his head to whisper in her ear.

"I don't mind taking orders as long as I believe in what I'm doing."

Ellis swallowed hard and a shudder ran through her. Good God, did he have any idea what that was doing to her?

"Better get me wet then," she said, wondering if he would pick up on her suggestive reasoning, or if it would pass right over his head.

He held her waist to steady her as she slid out of her bottoms, and as she stepped away from him toward the running water, his palm grazed the top of her right ass cheek.

"That's the plan," he said gravelly, and Ellis nearly tripped over the bottom lip of the shower.

 

 


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this at the same time as the previous post, but of course, I had to be evil and break it into two chapters. I do so love to torture you guys (readers and characters.) Forgive me?

"There," Danse said as he made one last swipe with her razor before releasing his grip on her calf. "Objective complete," he added, standing up.

Ellis was leaning back against the shower wall for support - because between Danse's hands gliding all over her skin, and the thought of him crouched down there with his face near her lady parts, her balance was definitely questionable.

"Thanks," she managed to say. "I'll, uh, take the soap now and finish up," holding her hand out so he could pass her the white bar.

"I don't mind continuing to help," he said with a far more even tone than Ellis was hoping to hear.

It was as if he was simply treating this like any average mission he'd been given by the Brotherhood - brief the operation objectives, execute the task, mission complete. No feelings, no hesitation. Was he completely unaffected by the fact that she was standing entirely exposed less than a foot away from him?

"I'm sure you've got more important things to do. I wouldn't want to keep you from them."

"Nonsense," he replied. "This is very important. Besides, I don't like leaving things half done, and I said I would help you. So unless you tell me you want me to go, I'm going to finish you off."

Ellis's mouth nearly dropped open at that, but she bit her tongue and tipped her face to the ceiling.

 _Holy fuck._ Either Danse's mind was a lot more cunning and wicked than she'd thought, or he was completely ignorant of the way his words could be taken and her mind was permanently in the gutter. All she could do was nod and murmur an "Mhm".

"Step into the water and wet your hair. I'll start there."

She did as he instructed and soon his strong hands were working through the saturated strands, his fingertips kneading her scalp. It felt sublime, and a soft moan escaped her as her head rolled forward and her eyes closed.

"Feel good?" he asked.

"Yes," she admitted. "No one has ever massaged my head before."

He continued for another minute before moving his hands down her neck and running them over her shoulders. He stood behind her, brushing her hair over her shoulder and laying his hands there. Gently, he kneaded her shoulders with his thumbs, moving slowly lower and then pressing with his fingers.

The muscles in her upper back uncoiled and Ellis exhaled as her body relaxed.

"You have amazing hands, Danse. Where did you learn to do this?"

"Several years back I was confined to the medical quarters for a week straight after I was wounded and broke my leg. The medical officer in charge wouldn't allow me to go back to my quarters, so I had to sit through a couple of his classes for the younger scribes while he taught them about massage techniques for use in physical therapy for injured soldiers."

Ellis hummed pleasantly as his big hands worked their way down her back and then returned to her shoulders.

"You're certainly an astute patient." It made her wonder what else he'd learned over the years, simply by listening and watching.

His soapy hands slid down her arms and worked over her hands, his thumbs pressing into her palms and then rubbing each finger before turning her to face him. She shivered as his warm hands pressed against her ribs, sliding out over her sides before coming back to drift over her stomach. Guiding her back into the water, he rinsed her hair of soap before turning her to face him again.  

"I can stop here," he offered, and she detected the slightest crack to his voice. "I don't want you to think I'm taking advantage of you right now. You need to tell me what you want, Ellis. And be very clear. I don't want there to be any misunderstandings."

"I want... to touch you, Danse. May I?"

She licked her lips as she waited anxiously for his answer.

"Yes."

She lifted her hand and placed her palm on his chest, the hair beneath it tickling her skin. Dare she say what else she wanted? Would he think her indecent for wanting to be with him now?

"I wish I could see you," she breathed. "To see your eyes and lock this in my mind." She'd just have to paint a picture in her mind using her hands as the brush.

He pressed his hands over hers and guided them higher, leading her to wrap her arms around his neck as he stepped forward, pressing their torsos together, her breasts rubbing into his upper abs.

"What else do you want?" he whispered.

She swallowed down the fear of pushing him to far, and said, "You, Danse. I want you."

Then a finger was tilting her chin up, and warm lips met hers. Sensations rushed through her as she simultaneously moaned at the pressure of his body and groaned as she realized that it was not his hand that was brushing against her lower belly. Ellis's hand slid down his muscular back to splay across his skin, pulling him closer. Danse obliged, pushing her back into the wall as his hot tongue invaded her mouth. His hands were suddenly spreading over her breasts, squeezing them gently.

Ellis's hands had a mind of their own now, as they dropped lower to graze over his ass. Naked.

 _Sweet Muffins of Meat._ He'd been naked the entire time, and she hadn't known it. Wondered, and fantasized, but hadn't dared to ask.

His lips abandoned her mouth for her neck, and he kissed up to her ear before licking at the lobe and gently suckling on it briefly.

"Last chance to back out, Ellis," the depth of need in his tone igniting her insides into a ball of flames. "I won't be angry if you tell me to go."

Ellis's heart leapt in her chest, and her pulse quickened. Should she tell him to stop? After all, she’d just been with Nate not more than 7 days ago.

 _But Nate left without even a “farewell”, or an “I’ll be back”._ Obviously he wasn’t concerned with her, or thinking of how his abandonment would make her feel. So fuck Nate. It was time she thought about what _she_ wanted. 

She reached for his face, her palms sliding back to cup his head and pull him to her, and she kissed him like she'd never kissed anyone before - letting the walls she'd built to guard her heart shatter on the shower floor and putting every desire, every dream she'd ever had of finding the man who could make her feel like she was the most precious thing on earth, into her action.

Danse breathed hard and moaned, pressing his hips against her, and Ellis whimpered, breaking away to beg him not to stop.

"I don't want you to go, Ben. I need you."

That must have been what he wanted to hear, because the next thing she knew, he was invading her mouth with his tongue as he lifted her up against the shower wall, stretching her nether lips with his fingers. Dipping one, then two inside her, Ellis could feel her wetness as he primed her for his cock. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she angled herself for him and he reached for his shaft. One pump, then another, and another, and he was sheathed inside her.

Their kiss broke as he leaned his head away, his chest heaving to catch his breath. She held on to his shoulders, letting him set the pace and direct the action. His forehead dropped to her shoulder and he growled as he pulled out and pushed back, slow and calculated.

Ellis sighed in utter pleasure, filled and stretched by Danse's thickness. She'd never felt so charged before, every nerve in her body buzzing with electric and screaming for more.

"Keep doing that," she told him breathlessly. "Just like that, and don't stop until I come. Please!"

She threaded her fingers through his now wet hair, holding on to him at the base of his neck while he did as she directed. Long strokes, in and out, over and over. He groaned and his breath began to stutter, coming in pants as he approached his release. His hands locked on her hips, half holding her up, half pulling her to him with each thrust of his hips.

This was the friction that would do her in, but the feeling of needing more and more and more wouldn't stop. "Harder," she begged, squeezing her eyes tighter.

He pulled out and snapped his hips forward, plunging himself into her harder and faster, the long strokes sliding over every inch of nerve inside her, and Ellis cried out, stars bursting like fireworks behind her eyelids as her body shook, clamping around him and forcing his orgasm to chase hers.

He let out a sound that rumbled through their bodies, bucking into her a few more times before stilling. His fingers loosened their grip and he let her legs unwrap, her body sliding down until her feet touched the floor.

Taking her face into his hands, he kissed her lips softly, then the tip of her nose and back to her lips and said, "That was better than a training exercise," making her laugh lightly. "I love you, Ellis."

Ellis opened her eyes and could have broken into sobs of happiness right there, but she managed to smile with joy instead. "I love you, too."

His cinnamon eyes sparkled and a grin sprawled over his face. "We should get cleaned up and head back," he said, turning to step into the now cold water.

"You keep that smile on your face for too long and this isn't going to stay between us," she said, and he looked back at her with a confused expression.

He searched her face, his gaze sliding over hers as he thought about what she said, and suddenly his eyes widened.

"You can see me!" She nodded, and he reached for her, pulling her to him and kissing her cheeks and her mouth and wrapping her in his embrace, he sighed, "Could this day get any better?"

Ellis didn't dare utter a reply. Not after this. She didn't want to push her luck. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be the last bit of smut for this story. Honestly, I didn't plan any more, but who knows what the story will make me write later. lol  
> But just in case... hope you enjoyed it. ;)


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not loving this chapter, but it's necessary for the next one, so I'm sucking it up and posting it.

The sun rarely stopped shining in Nuka World, but today it seemed brighter than she'd ever seen it before. Not just that, but the air seemed crisper, the sky bluer, and the birds chirped merrier tunes. Maybe they were, or maybe it was simply because Ellis was happier than she could ever recall being in her entire life, and it made her see the world that way, too.

She'd expected things not to change much after their time together in the shower, but Danse surprised her, yet again.

With others around, he kept his hands to himself, ever the professional, but it didn't stop the heated looks he threw her way, or the softer lilt to his voice when he spoke to her.

And when they happened to get a minute to themselves? It wasn't just his hands that roamed over her, for his mouth was just as hungry to feel her. His kisses were passionate, but sweet, and every one of them made Ellis feel like she was the only thing that mattered to him. It was a dream come true for her, and she savored every encounter.

Twelve so far, but who was counting?

Now that she could see again, she'd set up a place at the bar to break down her weapons and give them a thorough cleaning, while Danse sat as his desk going over the pile of notes he'd jotted down about all the parks, Jude's map currently in his hand.

Deacon was off doing... Deacon things - which meant that no one really knew what the hell he was up to - and that was fine with her, because she'd rather not deal with his smug, know-it-all looks and double speak. The cocky bastard.

So maybe she and Danse weren't adept at playing it cool, but she seriously hadn't thought anyone would guess what had happened simply because of the way they looked at each other. Either Deacon had some mad deductive skills, or he'd been spying on them at some point.

Either way, he'd been more than happy to tease her over it the previous afternoon. He'd caught Ellis's gaze and flipped a silent nod in Danse's direction before winking at her suggestively. Before she could stop herself from reacting, her eyes had widened and her cheeks filled with embarrassment, and he'd laughed at her before slipping out the door.  

So now the secret was out. Well, sort of. Knowing Deacon, he'd keep it to himself, unless the information could be used to get him something he wanted. She had no clue what that could possibly be, but as long as he kept his mouth shut until she could talk to Nate, she didn't care.

And therein was the next big hurdle. Telling Nate that she wanted out. Granted, Danse hadn't exactly said he wanted a relationship, but considering he'd told her that he loved her, she was hoping for the best. And even if that wasn't something he wanted, she just couldn't keep up pretense with Nate anymore. She didn't love him. Not like she loved Danse, anyway.

The time presented itself a little sooner than she'd hoped, though, as at that moment Nate showed back up, signaling the end of one chapter and possibly altering the course of her life story forever. Unfortunately, her plan shifted within minutes of him walking through the door.

A woman was with him, her petite frame and large breasts making her look like a playboy pinup. Her blonde hair was cut pixie style, the apples of her cheeks and her plump lips, bubblegum pink. Her pale blue eyes were framed by thick lashes and eyeshadow, and when she looked over at Ellis, she smiled, her white teeth sparkling.

"Greetings, Miss Ellis. How are you feeling?"

Ellis blinked at the french accent. "Curie?"

"Yes, it is I! Doctor Amari was most helpful with my predicament. She gave me a new body, and I have so many thoughts running around in my head, that I cannot keep them straight. But having this opportunity is so remarkably wonderful, that I cannot complain. But please, tell me... Your vision has returned, yes?"

"Yeah," she affirmed. "A couple days ago."

"That is wonderful news!" Curie bubbled.

Nate crossed the room, his eyes meeting Ellis's in a cursory glance before moving off behind her to drop his things in a yellow chair. The fact that his expression was a blank slate just cemented her decision that it was time to cut her bonds to him. At least the marriage kind. She'd continue helping him with the Commonwealth settlements and fighting the Institute, if he wanted her to, but their intimate union was over.

"Wow," Danse said as his gaze drifted over Curie's feminine form, and Ellis's gut wrenched, her eyes flinching minutely as she studied his reaction to the new Curie. "I didn't really think it was possible to... you know. Congratulations, Curie. I'm sure you'll make many beneficial discoveries in the future."

Curie swayed closer to his desk, smiling brightly. "That is very kind of you to say, Mon Chéri. I am grateful for your support of little Curie."

Danse grinned back at her, "Well, people like us have to stick together, don't we? If we don't show them what being human really is, then who will?"

Brown eyes raked over the former Miss Nanny's new body again, and Ellis's jaw clenched as she forced herself to look away.

People like us? Oh she knew what that meant. Synths. Sure his view of generation three's had changed since his exile, but to sit there and suddenly be so accepting of a Miss Nanny turned synth was just... not like Danse. Maybe the statement was intended as said, but then again...

_Just breathe and relax. He's just stunned by the transformation, that's all._

Yeah, but it was only Danse who was gawking at her like she was a lollipop and he had a craving for sugar.

"Excellent point," Curie beamed. "And I believe we will do so marvelously!" and she went to a booth near the outside lift to remove her pack, and Danse's eyes followed her, lingering over her curves before jumping to Ellis and then back to the papers on his desk, but his expression was unreadable.

Ellis chewed on the inside of her cheek as her nimble fingers quickly pieced her weapon together. She needed to get the fuck out of there before she made a fool of herself and did or said something she'd regret.

It would just figure, fate would toss an alluring female with a ridiculously adorable personality into the mix, and Danse's infatuation with Ellis would take a nose dive. Bliss for her had always been excruciatingly fleeting. The only difference between the other times and now, was Danse. She'd thought he was different. Better.

Whatever was going through his mind, he was clearly attracted to the former Miss Nanny's new figure. Could Ellis compete with that? Yeah, so she had decent breast size and some curve to her hip, but she wasn't petite, or blonde, or bubbly, or a genius... She shouldn't have to try to compete with anyone.

See? The universe definitely enjoyed watching Ellis suffer, persistently torturing her by letting her dream for things out of her reach, and get a taste of them, only to shove her face in a putrid pile of reality the very next instant.

_Not a surprise._

She didn't bother taking the time to fold her cleaning rags or properly arrange her supplies into their pouch, she just stuffed it all into her pack and shoved her handgun in the holster at her thigh. Picking up her Sig, she headed for the door.

"Where are you off to?" Danse asked, as her hand turned the knob.

"Out." She pulled the door open and threw the reply over her shoulder without stopping, nearly running into Deacon.

Making her way down through Fizztop, Ellis ignored the urge to snap at one of the Operators that stood in the doorway at the bottom, but her glower did the trick and he moved like she'd struck him with a whip.

 _Smart fella, that one._ Tangling with a pissed off woman wasn't really the most intelligent move.

Making for the Market, Ellis was so focused on not growling out a string of curses in frustration, that she nearly missed seeing the man leaning just inside the doorframe that led from the outer section by the pond to the Nuka Center. But it was his voice that made her stop and turn around.

"You're Ellis Mitchell, correct?"

Her boots halted their progress and she turned sideways to her right to look at him, her hand instinctively dropping to her thigh. "Who wants to know?"

He pushed off the wood planked wall, and stepped toward her - no gun in hand, but something about him made the hairs on the back of her neck prickle, and she let her eyes scan over him cautiously.

He was a couple inches taller than her, and built like a brick shit-house; deep chested, with thickly muscled arms and legs. His clean-shaven face was marred by a few lines that spoke of a stress-filled life and boasted an old scar that curved along one cheek. His blue eyes were hard and cold as they looked at her, and his sculpted mouth pinched as he approached, making his square chin seem longer. His hair was deep brown, the sides not as grown out as the longer top section, and looking a bit raggedy.

"We've never met," he said. His voice had a hissy quality to it that only increased the more he spoke, as each word spit with disgust, "but I know your husband.. and your synth lover."

Shock rushed through her, and she started to tell him that she had no idea what he was talking about - because how the fuck would this jackoff know about her and Danse? But before she could open her mouth to respond, his arm flashed out like a striking rattler, his fist catching her chin and that was it. Lights out, as she crumpled to the ground.

 


	34. Chapter 34

Danse had been pouring over the papers scattered across the desktop for hours, his hands fidgeting with the notes he'd scribbled of all the information they'd gathered so far, comparing it to Jude's map and trying to figure out how best to approach the attack on the raiders, but he just couldn't focus.

For one thing, the way Nate kept giving him side glances of suspicion every few minutes was really rankling his nerves.

But mostly, his restlessness was because of the way Ellis had left Fizztop with a curt reply, not even bothering to look him in the eye. It worried him. Clearly she was upset about something, but whether it was because of Nate, or him, or something else, he wasn't sure. She'd seemed fine until Nate arrived, and then her entire bearing had changed.

She'd been quiet but civil with Curie, but hadn't spoken to Nate at all. He'd seen them share a glance, but the only thing he'd read in her expression was cheerless conviction, as she'd already told Danse that she was leaving Nate.

Surely she hadn't changed her mind. Then again, maybe she _was_ having second thoughts?

It wasn't as if she didn't care for Nate, and Danse knew her marriage vows had been important to her. She had confessed that being disloyal to them made her feel dishonest and shameful. Maybe she wasn't sure walking away from her husband would make her happy after all, despite telling Danse that she loved him. It was possible that she'd only said those words because it was what he wanted to hear.

_No!_

He shook his head to clear that thought away. No, Ellis wouldn't have spoken those words unless she'd truly meant them. There had to be another explanation for her abrupt departure.

He began to watch the clock. One hour crept by, then two, and then the minutes seemed to crawl until a half hour later he gave up.

_I can't just keep sitting here, waiting around and doing nothing._

Gathering the papers, he shoved them into a file folder and put them in a desk drawer before pushing to his feet.

"I'm going to go look for Ellis," he said, reaching for his weapon. "She's been gone too long."

_And something doesn't feel right._

"Shall I accompany you, Monsieur Danse?" Curie asked as she stood at the chemistry workbench. She had a tube of some blue liquid in her hand, and several beakers of unknown contents scattered across the surface.

"I appreciate the offer, Curie, but I'll handle it."

Nate shifted and their eyes met as Danse moved toward the door. "I'd offer as well, but I think we both know what you're really after, here," his tone clipped and his eyes angry.

Danse stopped and met his gaze head on, the implication that Danse wanted time alone with her for personal reasons clearly conveyed in the pinched set of Nate's blazing eyes.

If he wasn't so concerned for Ellis, he'd ask Nate to speak privately, and tell him what had happened between them while Nate was away. He'd apologize for betraying their friendship by falling in love with her, and try to explain that if he thought Ellis had been truly happy with Nate, he would have kept his mouth shut.

But now was not the time for that.

"I get what you're implying, but you're wrong. Doesn't it concern you that Ellis has been gone for nearly three hours? She's never gone this long. Not alone, anyway."

Nate shrugged. "What concerns me is that my supposed best friend decided it would be a good idea to fuck my wife when I turned my back."

Danse's skin went cold. Was that merely an assumption, or did he know that for a fact? Neither he nor Ellis had spoken about it, and they were careful not to do anything inappropriate in front of others.

Unless someone had been spying on them. His eyes slid to Deacon, but the man had his face in an old copy of Total Hack.

He looked back at Nate. Now was not the time to get into a fist fight over who got the girl.

"Right now the only thing that matters is Ellis," he started. "She's out there without back--"

The door opened and Eversman sauntered in like he didn't have a care in the world, and didn't give a shit about the serious conversation he was interrupting.

"Hey, fellas." He held out a piece of paper to Danse, and then walked off to get a beer.

Danse had disliked Eversman from the very day they met, and didn't know why Nate tolerated him and his lazy, mooch attitude.

"What's this?" Danse asked as he unfolded the paper.

"Don't know. Some guy over by the Market said he had a letter for you, and asked me to bring it up."

The yellowed paper unfolded from the sharp creases, and his eyes scanned over it.

 _Overboss Danse,_  
_Ellis Mitchell is in my possession. If you want her back, meet me in the foyer of Grandchester mansion tomorrow noon. Come alone, or she's dead. If you're late, she's dead. Oh, and come unarmed... or she's dead._  
_Alpha Mike_

Danse's stomach knotted, and he looked back at Eversman.

"Who gave you this?" he held up the letter.

Eversman took a swig of his drink and then shrugged, wiping his wet lip with a sleeve. "Some guy, I told you. Didn't give me his name and I didn't think it important to ask."

"What did he look like?"

"Listen, Big Man," Eversman breathed in agitation, "I didn't pay attention, okay. He gave me a handful of caps to deliver the message, so I did. End of story. What the fuck do I care what some asshole looks like?"

"And you didn't find it odd that he wouldn't just come up to talk to me himself?" Danse forced himself to take a deep breath before he stomped over and punched the idiot in his face. "He's got Ellis, and you can't even give me a clue as to who he is?"

That got Nate's attention, and the bottle of his Nuka Dark smacked onto the countertop where he sat. "What do you mean, he has Ellis?"

Danse handed him the letter and Nate's eyes tore through the words and he mumbled something before smacking the counter with the side of a fist.

"Goddamn it! That fucking bastard. I knew I should have killed that prick when I had the chance," Nate growled, and flipped the paper back towards Danse.

"Killed who?" Danse asked, not bothering to pick the letter back up.

"Arthur fucking Maxson, that's who!"

Danse's brows furrowed and he shook his head. "That's ridiculous. Alpha Mike sounds more like one of Mason's dogs that let his status go to his head. Besides, if anyone would have reason to threaten me, it would be one of the raider gangs. Not to mention Arthur is in the Commonwealth preparing to take on the Institute. Why would you think this is Arthur?"

"Think about it, Danse. Alpha Mike? A. M. You of all people should recognize the military alphabet," he explained slowly. "Son of a bitch is going down this time," Nate said as he slid off his stool and went to his gear.

Another glance at the letter had him questioning Nate's thought process, but he couldn't deny that it did seem suspicious.

 _But this isn't Arthur's handwriting, either._ He'd seen it as often as his own, and would recognize it in a heartbeat.

"There has to be another explanation," he said thoughtfully. "Arthur wouldn't just kidnap an innocent woman for a hostage. For what? He agreed to leave me alone as long as I stayed away from the Brotherhood, and I haven't done anything to jeopardize that deal."

Nate snorted and tossed his pack onto the bed to search for something. "You honestly think that arrogant dick cares you've held up your end? You made him look like a fool, Danse. He's not going to kiss you for that."  

"No, but he gave his word," Danse defended his old brother in arms. Arthur's word had always been good.

"He gave his word to a synth," Nate spat. "Do you seriously think that means anything to him? He wants you there unarmed, alone, and vulnerable. I'd wager he wants to finish what he started, and this time, he's got the pieces laid out on the chess board just the way he wants them to be. The queen is in jeopardy, Danse. Are you going to stand there and tell me that this doesn't sound like Maxson?"

Goddamnit, Nate was right. This screamed of Arthur Maxson, he just didn't want to believe it. He'd wanted to trust Arthur, the way he always had before, to think that despite the hatred for synths and the anger of feeling betrayed, that Arthur would trust Danse to do as they'd agreed - because they'd been as close as brothers, and he wanted to believe Arthur still had faith in him, regardless of his identity.

"It doesn't matter who it is, really," he determined. "They've got Ellis, and I'll do whatever it takes to get her back."

"Or die trying?" Nate asked as he slung his rifle over his shoulder.

"Affirmative," Danse answered crossly, and shrugged on his ammo bandolier. He may be expected to be unarmed once he got there, but he'd be damned if he was crossing Deathclaw territory without protection.

As he passed by the counter, he spotted the letter sitting near the edge, and he snatched it in his hand as he walked past, crumpling the ancient paper in his palm, his fingers angrily crushing it into a tiny ball.

It didn't matter to him if it was one of the Nuka raiders, or Arthur Maxson, or even the reincarnation of George Washington. Whoever took Ellis better pray she wasn't harmed, or he was going to rip their spine from their body and feed their limp carcass to a pack of ferals.

 


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to say another quick Thank You! to everyone who's been following this story, leaving comments and kudos. I'm really feeling the love, and it's amazing! Big hugs to you all!  
> Now... on to the action.  
> *dramatic pause*

She'd been gagged, blindfolded, handcuffed and her feet bound when she'd regained consciousness. Being drug across uneven ground atop an old tarp wasn't as much fun as she'd thought it would be as a kid. She felt every rock and lump they passed over, and knew she'd be covered in dozens of bruises within a matter of hours.

If she lived that long.

Later, the man that had knocked her unconscious removed the gag and blindfold, and let her drink some water, after stopping for the night. A few hours after that, he let her have some food, and even helped her hobble to a bathroom to pee.

Ellis had recognized her location immediately, having been there previously with Danse. Grandchester mansion.

That could prove useful. All she had to do was come up with a plan to escape, but Scarface wasn't letting her out of his sight long enough to do anything. She didn't even know what he wanted with her, and he wasn't talking, no matter how many times she'd asked. When he got tired of hearing her, he simply returned the gag to her mouth. And that's the way she'd stayed for the night.

It was nearing noon now, and he'd pulled a chair out into the second floor hallway of the foyer, and pushed her into it. He tied her arms to the rests of the chair, and each leg roped to the chair leg near it. She struggled against him and his ministrations, but he was far more powerful than she was, and she had no leverage.

It was a lost battle, but she kept trying anyway, despite sore muscles and aching joints - because if he was going to kill her, she wasn't going out without a fight.

"Stop," he growled. "I've had enough of your tantrums and squirming. If you want to see your husband again, I suggest you calm yourself, or I'll have no choice but to hurt you."

 _Again_ , she added for him. _Hurt me,_ again _. Fucker._

Ellis had thought she couldn't care less about seeing Nate again - he'd proven to her one too many times that she didn't matter to him, and she was sick being treated like his play toy - but right now, even seeing Porter Gage show up to save her ass would be pretty sweet.

She tried to smack Scarface with a head-butt. Unfortunately, he was a lot more agile than she'd given him credit for, and he easily ducked back out of the way.

"Damn, you're a feisty one, aren't you? No wonder Danse is taken with you."

Hearing his name was like flicking on a lightbulb. _So... this is about Danse, then._

Whatever the man's problem was, she was plainly going to be the bait to lure his quarry.

"He's always had a thing for spirited women," Scarface continued. "You should have seen the first one he was involved with. Beautiful, strong, and brave. She was a born leader."

_Yeah? She was probably blonde, blue-eyed and busty, right?_

His voice almost cooed as he spoke of this unidentified woman, and if she had to guess, Ellis would say that Danse hadn't been the only one who'd been in love with her.

"You don't look like her," he said as he tightened the last leg rope and stood up, "though you certainly share the same kind of pluckiness. But that's as far as the similarities go. You don't have a sliver of her virtue, or her class. Sarah would never have let a synth touch her, if she'd known what he was. And I'm certain you've known about him for a while now." He glanced back up at her with disgust smeared across his face. "Giving yourself to a synth is revolting."

Ellis growled through the gag, wishing she could rip out his tongue for that remark. Who did this fucker think he was?

_Untie me, you bastard, and I'll show you what kind of pluckiness I have!_

It was one thing to better her by catching her off guard. Now that she knew what he was all about, he could be damn sure she'd claw his eyes out if given the chance.

The front door of the mansion cracked open, and the man turned to face it, leveling a handgun at her head. She gave him the most hateful look she could manage - even though he was no longer looking at her - but the voice that came from the other side of the door yanked her attention away from her captor, and her insides quaked.

"You wanted me here, so here I am," Danse said, and Ellis screamed into the gag, hoping he'd hear her and know it was a trap.

Why the hell had he shown up? She didn't want him here. No matter how upset she'd been at his obvious attraction to Curie, she didn't want him dead because some maniac had it out for him.

"Enter," the man said, and waited for Danse to come inside. "Close the door and lock it. I would hate to be interrupted."

Danse did as instructed and moved a few feet forward, his eyes drifting to Ellis and she shook her head. _Leave!_

He ignored her and looked to the man beside her. "What's this about, Arthur? I've kept my word to stay away from the Brotherhood."

 _Arthur?_ Did he mean Arthur Maxson?

Ellis glanced back up at the man and really looked at him this time, thinking back over the things Nate had told her about the man after Danse had first recruited him. About 20 years old, scar on his cheek from a deathclaw, cold eyes and stocky build. Yeah, this man fit that description perfectly. Why hadn't she put two and two together, already?

"If you think I'd take the word of a synth, you're even more ridiculous than I thought," he spat at Danse.

"Ridiculous? Maybe. But only because I believed you to be a better man than everyone said you were." Danse's eyes softened with sadness. "You were my brother, Arthur, and my friend. I thought I could trust you."

"Humans and synths cannot be friends. Coexisting is an affront to nature itself. As a member of the Brotherhood, it's my sworn duty to exterminate abominations in every form. This time, I won't let some silver-tongued traitor talk me out of doing what's right."

"Fine," Danse said, taking a few steps forward. "I will freely surrender to you, if you let her go."

Arthur snorted. "There's really not a whole lot you can do about it, Danse. I should kill you both. She's obviously sympathetic to synths, and has no qualms about fucking one. She doesn't deserve to live."

Man, this asshole had some fucking nerve, didn’t he?

Danse's brown eyes narrowed at his ex Elder, his jaw ticked but there was no snappy reply.

"What is this really about, Arthur? I think we both know there's more to this than just me being a synth. You were placated enough when you thought I'd be hiding in a bunker for the rest of my life, living in fear, but suddenly you're here going back on our agreement. Why?"

"Because you don't get to be happy!" Arthur screamed down at him. "You don't get to live a full life, having people care about you and fight by your side, while I have to sit on my mandated throne in misery and loneliness!" He stepped closer to Ellis, the muzzle of his gun mere inches from her head. "You don't deserve to keep the things you love, while everything I ever cared for was taken from me."

_Jesus, this guy seriously has a screw loose._

How did such a maniac land Elder of the Brotherhood of Steel? Didn't they have psych evaluations or some shit? Shouldn't they be more discriminating in their selection for high-ranking leaders?

"Sarah was more important to me than my own life," Scarface hissed, "and you should have protected her! You took her away from me, so I'm going to return the service."

"I'm sorry about Sarah, Arthur. If I could have kept her alive I would have. You know that. But this isn't right. Punishing me for something I had no control over is unreasonable. I'm willing to accept that fate, if you truly believe taking my life will ease your pain, but Ellis had no part in that. Let her go."

Ellis could see Arthur's hand from the corner of her eye, and when it began to shake, she thought maybe Danse was getting through to the man. Instead, Arthur slipped around behind her chair and grabbed a handful of her hair, yanking her head back against him and pressing the gun against her temple, and she flinched as needles of pain spread over her head.

"How much do you love her, Danse? Enough to put a gun to your head and pull the trigger? Because that is the only way she walks out of here," he spewed.

"Funny," a voice interjected from the doorway to Arthur's right. "I was just about to tell you to do the same."

 _Nate!_ Ellis squeezed her eyes shut as Arthur's grip on her hair tightened, her scalp stinging from the bite of the mistreated follicles.

"So," Arthur huffed, "you decided to ignore my warning and arrive with backup," he glared at Danse. "I had assumed as much," he said nonchalantly, and the click of a pistol hammer being cocked echoed along the hallway, and Ellis saw Danse's eyes round as he looked over towards Nate.

"Hey Maxson. Nate. Danse," a man behind Nate said, and every hope Ellis had of getting out of this mess alive vaporized in an instant. "Seems I'm right on time for the party."

 _Mike. Fucking. Eversman._ She should have known.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to mention, I went back to Ch 32 (the "shower scene" teehee) and changed just a tad of their dialogue. Hopefully it sounds more in-character now. (#^.^#)


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want to post this chapter anymore, because I'm beginning to question what I'm writing. But, it was already done, so I'm just gonna let it go and hope it doesn't flop like a burnt pancake.  
> Next update will be delayed, while I take a minute to assess wtf I'm doing. Sorry.

Michael Alfonso Eversman thought of himself as more than just a survivor. He was a one of a kind. Or at least, that's what he'd thought after waking up from a 200-years-plus-a-few-extra long nap on ice. No one else in the underground facility he'd been sent to had survived, corpses littering the rooms and hallways as he'd made his way out into the "new" world.

He'd adapted to the cutthroat wasteland without blinking an eye, because this... this was how the world was meant to be. Each man, beast or monster for himself. He'd used the skills taught to him in the Army to make his way through, and he'd made a name for himself as a no frills, no mercy bounty hunter. You wanted someone tracked down and brought in? Mike was your guy. You wanted someone tracked down and fed a bullet? Mike was your guy. Didn't matter to him whether the prey was guilty, innocent, human or otherwise. If you had the caps, he'd do the work.

So it wasn't such a surprise to him when he'd been invited to meet with Arthur Maxson. Course, by the time the Brotherhood had arrived in the Commonwealth, Mike had already been in enough places to know who they were and what they'd be after in Boston. He didn't care, as long as they didn't interfere with his work.

What had thrown him for a minute, was when Maxson had asked him to track down a former member. Mike hadn't asked why. You see, he adapted one very important rule that he figured all mercenaries ought to follow, and that was: No questions. You don't ask him any that don't pertain to the job, and he won't ask either. All he needed to know was his target's name, what to do with them, and how many caps he was getting paid.

Point is, former Paladin Benjamin Danse was fucked from day one of this job, but that wasn't the good part. You see, the icing on the cake was that when Mike finally tracked him down - through bribes, threats, and being in the right place at the right time to overhear some information - he'd found something far better than his quarry.

Ellis Lorelei Lincoln.

He had dated her briefly, before his last gig oversees. He'd broken it off with her because in his line of work, baggage wasn't smart. He hadn't wanted to dump her, but having people you were attached to could get you killed - used as bait by your enemies and lead you right into a trap. So he'd said goodbye and thought he'd never see her again.

Surprise! She'd married another military man and they'd been selected for a Vault-Tec experiment. Nathaniel Mitchell didn't worry him in the least. The married couple was separated more often than they were together, and even when they were in the same place, their bond didn't seem to be all that strong.

Danse, however, was a whole different cat to skin.

Watching them together like he had, he'd seen their connection being tempered with every challenge they faced together, their feelings for one another deepening. Mike knew there was only one way to get her back.

Finish the job.

He didn't give a rat's ass that Danse was a synth, or that Nate was a synth sympathizer. All Mike cared about was getting both of them out of his way so he could have Ellis to himself. And what perfect opportunity than as Arthur Maxson's partner?

Once he'd relayed his findings to the Brotherhood Elder, Maxson had agreed that using Ellis to trap Danse was a far more effective tool than just finding the opportunity to fill him with holes. So they'd come up with this little humdinger of a plan.

Maxson gets his revenge on the synth, and Mike gets to walk away with the girl and a pack full of caps. How could it get any better?

And as he stood there now, holding his pistol to the back of Nate's head, Mike was feeling pretty confident that their plan would succeed without a hitch.

Right up until Nate slurred Arthur's character and pissed the psycho off.

 

* * *

 

Coming face to face with his enemies wasn't anything new for Danse, he just never expected one of them to be Arthur Maxson. Sure, they'd faced off outside Listening Post Bravo after he'd ordered Nate to track Danse down and execute him, but Danse had believed that incident was more for show than an honest desire to kill him.

But this situation was proving just how wrong he'd been.

As his gaze raked over Arthur now, Danse's insides shook, his chest heavy and tight. He'd never seen Arthur so bitter and angry, at least not towards him. Was there anything he could say that would make Arthur see that this was wrong? Men in such a wild frame of mind rarely could be talked down.

Hand to hand combat wasn't a daunting prospect - as he'd never been shy about rushing his enemies to take them by surprise - but this situation was unlike anything he'd ever experienced before, and there was no way he would be faster than a bullet. He'd already done the calculations from the moment he'd stepped inside the house, and he knew that if he made a move from where he stood, there was little hope of reaching the second floor in time to prevent Arthur from hurting Ellis.

The way he and Nate had planned this, was to pincer Ellis's kidnapper between them and make him surrender, but with Eversman at Nate's back and a pistol pointed at his head, Danse wasn't so sure Nate would be able to help now.

Neither of them had considered that Eversman was a part of this, and Danse didn't know whether to be furious, or frightened by the illumination.

_I'm going to kill that backstabbing leech._

"Drop your gun, Nate," Arthur demanded.

Nate was livid. Danse could see it all over his reddened face, his golden eyes pinched and glinting daggers at Arthur. His hesitation to do as Arthur bid, worried Danse. Because if he refused to drop his weapon, Arthur would likely just shoot them all and be done with it.

"All right," Nate growled. "But if you hurt her, I'm going to make sure you die a slow, agonizing death."

Arthur snorted. "Don't be ridiculous. You already had the chance to kill me and you didn't go through with it, because you're weak."

"Reluctance to kill isn't weakness, Maxson. It's called humanity, something of which you are sorely lacking," Nate said roughly.

Arthur's arm whipped out toward Nate, lifting his gun to Nate's face. "How dare you talk to me about what I lack! This, coming from a lover of synths and ghouls."

"Put the gun down, Arthur," Danse ordered, having pulled his own handgun from the back waistband of his jeans, now aiming it at his former friend's chest. "I don't want to pull this trigger, but I will if I have to."

He truly didn't want to do it. Not just because of their past bond, but because Arthur was mostly blocked by Ellis, her head only three or four inches below his chest. Not that he was a poor marksman, but he might miss for any number of reasons, and he didn't want to consider what would happen if his shot went low. If he took the shot and missed....

Arthur looked back over at him, and the venomous smile that crossed his lips was purely sinister. "I knew you were nothing but a treacherous abomination. Look at you, a synth holding a gun on a human. Proving once again that none of you can be trusted. You're all killers."

"For fuck's sake, Maxson," Nate shouted, "you're holding a woman hostage and threatening to kill people! What does that make you, but a monster?"

"Enough!" Arthur's arm jerked back towards Ellis and Danse's finger squeezed the trigger.

Two shots rang out, one from his own weapon, and one from upstairs, just as Nate's body was lunging through the air at Arthur, tackling the man and taking them to the floor. As they fell, their heavy bodies crashed into the side of the chair Ellis was tied to, and she went tumbling over sideways.

Neither Arthur nor Nate were moving on the floor, but Danse could see Ellis pulling at the bindings that tied her limbs to the chair, and screaming incoherently behind her gag.

Danse started to move, but then Eversman was in the doorway, pointing his weapon down at Danse.

"Nope. Just stay right where you are, Big Man."

"Eversman," Danse snarled. "Why were you helping Arthur? What was in it for you? You know what, never mind, I don't care. Just let Ellis go."

"Oh, don't you worry about Ellis. She'll be just fine once you're not around to make her life hell," Eversman replied. "Now, why don't you just put down the gun and live to see another day."

_Wait. What?_

"I don't understand," Danse admitted, lowering his weapon slowly. "You did this because of her?"

"Well I sure as shit didn't care about Maxson's reasons for wanting you dead. He hired me to track you down and keep tabs on you. The dude may be batshit, but he fucking knows how to pay the help." Eversman shrugged, "That was as far as my concern went, until I saw Ellis. Bet you didn't know she and I did a little mattress dancing back in the day," he smirked, and Danse felt the need to punch it off his smarmy face. "Only reason it ended was because I had a job to do that required no baggage."

Danse's glared at the man. How could he think of Ellis as baggage? If anything, she was an asset.

"So what? You thought you'd take her for yourself?" Danse inquired, his weapon still in his hand. He wondered just how fast he'd have to be to beat Eversman's trigger pull, and figured it wouldn't matter much. One of them was going to end up sponging a bullet, but he had to try.

"Better than watching her struggle between you two idiots," he indicated Danse and Nate with a nod of his unkempt head.

"She's not property," Danse said. "She has a say in who she wants to be with."

Eversman shrugged. "Eh. Not really. Not if she wants you to keep breathing."

"And what if Arthur had killed her like he threatened?" Danse demanded. "Did you ever stop to think about that before you helped him kidnap her?"

"Of course I did. What do you take me for? Some kind of re--"

A gunshot went off, and Eversman flinched, stepping sideways a couple feet and grabbing at his torso. He looked over towards where the others lay on the hallway floor and tried to bring his gun up to fire a return shot, but Danse beat him to it, raising his own gun and pulling the trigger without remorse.

Eversman was never touching Ellis again.

He didn't wait to watch the man's body hit the floor. He tucked his weapon in his waistband and took the stairs ahead of him two at a time, vaulting over the low railing and dropping to a crouch at Ellis's side.

"Give me a minute and I'll have you loose," he told her as he reached for her restraints.

In the span of a few handfuls of seconds, he had her legs and arms free, and she twisted to push herself to her feet, yanking the gag down from her mouth.

Why he'd expected her to fling herself into his arms, he couldn't say, but it still hurt when she brushed past him, rushing around the chair to push Arthur's body away from Nate, and Danse could do nothing but follow in silence.

"Nate?" Ellis called. "You're bleeding," she worried at the sight of the red stain on his shirt, and he tried to chuckle.

"See what trying to be a hero gets me?" He coughed, and Danse noticed blood trickle from the corner of his mouth.

"Fuck," she bit out, moving his jacket away from his wound to get a better view, and she cursed again. "Not gonna lie, Nate, this one is bad. We've got to get you to Curie."

Nate cringed when she tried to urge him to get up and he put out a hand to stop her.

"Forget it, Ell. It's no use." He coughed again, and a big glop of blood mixed with saliva burst from his lips and splattered his chin and chest, and hit Ellis in the face.

She didn't even bother to wipe it off, just leaned in and grabbed his jacket. "What the fuck were you thinking, jumping at Maxson like that? Did you seriously think you'd be faster than a bullet?"

He gave her a bloody-toothed smile, the gun he'd held slipping from his fingers as he lifted them to touch her face. He shook his head, his breath snagging every few words, voice cracking as his wounds made it more difficult to speak. "No. But every other...plan I could...think of ended up with you...here in my place."

Ellis bit her lip and her eyes puddled with unshed tears.

"Goddamnit, Nate," she burbled. "You shouldn't have risked your life for me. I'm not worth it."

His fingers smeared blood across her cheek and his gold eyes softened as he looked at her. "Course you are. Just wish I'd seen it sooner." He coughed again, and winced in pain before looking over at Danse. "Take care of her, or I'll come back and haunt your ass."

Danse frowned. "With my life," he promised with a single nod.

Then, Nate was gone.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I'd toss this bit in I'd written from Eversman's pov. It doesn't explain a lot, but at least he gets a slice more of page time. The rest of his chapter just covered the action you see from Danse's pov, so no need to post that.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some aftermath bits while I work out the kinks for the next big thing

_Nate's gone._

She could hardly believe it. His body had been loaded on the monorail as she stood there watching, but it was still hard to grasp. Her husband. Dead. What was she supposed to do with that? 

As she exited the transit station there was a settler waiting for her, and it took her moment to recognize him, her mind still reeling from this latest misfortune. 

"Miss Ellis," Alvin, the foreman of Sunshine Tidings greeted her with a handshake. "We've got the cart all ready to go. Just say the word and the guys will take the General to Sanctuary." 

She nodded. "Thank you, but there's no need to wait. We can head out as soon as you're done, and I'll follow you." 

She stood off to the side and waited as Alvin directed three men to carry Nate off the train and lay him in a cart outside. Then, they made their way toward home. 

_Home_. 

Ellis sighed. What was home? _Where_ was home? 

She'd certainly never felt fondness for the place she'd built in Sanctuary, even with Nate dropping by to stay there every so often. His sporadic presence hadn't given it feelings of comfort and attachment. It was simply a place to store their supplies, sleep in relative security, and keep the rain off their heads. There was no coziness inside the worn plank box, no excitement when pondering arrival there.

Should she even stay? Perhaps it would be better to leave the Commonwealth for good. Find a new place to call home. 

She considered her options as she trailed behind the caravan, thinking of what her life meant now, what she had left. 

She'd been Nate's wife, and a Minutemen agent since Curie had saved her from Vault-Tec's sick experiment. Her life in the wasteland had been bound to Nate and everything Nate had accomplished. And now that Nate was gone, what did that leave for her? What could she do for herself? What else was she bound to? 

Danse flicked into her thoughts, making her frown deepen. 

He'd had to stay behind in Nuka World, and honestly, it was probably better that way. Right now, being near him was just an extra reminder of what had transpired in that house, prompting a myriad of feelings over the fact that Nate was dead. 

The rational part of her said that it wasn't Danse's fault. He had no control over Arthur Maxson, and there had been nothing he could have done to prevent Nate from giving his life. The irrational side of her brain argued, of course, letting her dwell on the fact that Danse had chosen to hide out in Sanctuary, had chosen to follow her on her tasks, and had chosen to show up at Grandchester knowing full well that someone was going to die. 

If he'd just stayed away, chosen some other way to keep out of the Brotherhood's path, none of this would have happened. She could easily put all the blame on him. But then she would inevitably recall the fact that if it wasn't for her choices, Nate wouldn't have even shown up in Nuka World. 

_It's my fault that Nate is dead._

She had agreed to let Danse travel with her in the first place. If she'd refused, or maybe if she'd simply waited to go to Nuka World with more backup... And as if those weren't bad enough, it was Ellis who had betrayed Nate, letting herself fall for Danse. If she'd kept her mind on her husband and their marriage and not let a handsome face make her forget her vows, Nate would still be alive. 

He'd sacrificed his life for her - an adulteress. Did she deserve to move on and be happy after getting him killed? No matter how much she loved Danse, she didn't see how she could be with him, knowing her actions had resulted in her husband's death. 

Maybe the knowledge that she was now free from her marital duty ought to be relieving, but it wasn't. It was disorienting. 

Preston met them at the end of the bridge, showing the men to a little shed where they locked Nate inside for the night. Tomorrow, they would take his body over to the Wildwood Cemetery and bury him next to Nora. That's all Ellis could focus on right now. It was the least she could do for him, after what he'd done for her. Let him rest beside the only real love of his life. 

She went back to the house and forced herself to eat, though food was utterly unappealing. Then, she went to bed, refusing to cry herself to sleep - because she had no right to feel sorry for herself. Tears would have to wait, saved for her final farewell to Nate.

 

* * *

 

Danse was slumped down in a large chair, his legs tossed over a hideous pink ottoman Ellis had found in one of the unused rooms of Fizztop to go with it. The pieces of furniture were ugly and clashed terribly, but they were comfortable, and right now he wasn't in the mood to do anything but sit there feeling sorry for himself. 

Why? Because - save him and Curie - everyone was gone, and Fizztop Grille was empty. 

Nate and Arthur were dead, Ellis had left, and no one was around to help him fight the raiders. He was on his own now, with no backup - because he was sure the Minutemen wouldn't follow him. Without Nate, the whole plan was screwed. But he'd worry about that later. Right now, he was simply trying to talk himself out of feeling guilty for the deaths of his friends, attempting to convince himself that Ellis didn't blame him for what had happened - both of which were proving to be an impossible task.  

He pushed the last piece of a Fancy Lads Snack Cake into his mouth as he exhaled heavily through his nose, wishing the sweet flavor would make him feel better.

All that he could seem to do at the moment was pray that Ellis would return, and that things between them weren't so damaged that he couldn't repair them. 

He worried about her out in the Commonwealth alone. Well, maybe not completely alone. Codsworth and Deacon had both gone with her, but that didn't make Danse feel any damn better about her going. Deacon would likely go back to whatever rock he hid under, and he doubted Ellis would take Codsworth with her on any of her outings for any settlements. 

He'd made a promise to Nate to protect her, but how the hell could he do that from hours away? 

If he'd just let Arthur kill him the first time around, none of this would have happened. Both men would still be alive, and Ellis wouldn't have had to go through any of this disaster. 

Remembering how she'd looked back at him over her shoulder as the monorail had departed, made him feel like his heart was being ripped apart, reminding him of the reason he'd always refrained from letting people too close, afraid of having to traverse the ramifications after they were taken from him. 

The expression on her face had been nothing but sadness. Not that it should have been anything else - Nate was dead, of course she'd be sad - but she'd avoided him for two days after the incident at Grandchester, so maybe it had been a silent "goodbye for good", too? 

It made sense to him that she'd blame him for Nate's death. After all, if it weren't for Danse, Arthur wouldn't have taken her and Nate would still be alive. 

Did she hate him for that? 

He frowned as he remembered the rivers of tears that had poured down her cheeks as she kneeled over Nate's body, and all he'd done was stand there like a creep and watch, not knowing whether he ought to leave her to grieve, or if he should try to embrace her, or offer some kind of words of regret. She hadn't seemed to even be aware of his presence as she wept for her husband.

Why couldn't he be more knowledgable on how to respond to people's emotions? 

"Monsieur Danse?" Curie asked from the other side of the room. "I have to make a trip to the Market for more ingredients for my experiment. Is there anything I can pick up for you?" 

"Thanks, but no. I'm fine," he uttered, then chased the last of his comfort food with a drink of beer. 

"Apologies if my concerns are out of line, but maybe some ammunition would make you feel better? Or perhaps I could get you a new weapon to tinker on, or some medical remedy to liven your spirits." 

He drained the last of the beer and tossed the bottle into the chair seat nearby before picking up another from the crate that sat on the floor next to him. He'd already gone through one case, and they were doing nothing to stop his mind from spinning, or his heart from aching. 

"You want to get me something?" he muttered, "Bring me back a few bottles of Whiskey." He was going to need something stronger than beer to block out his misery and regret. 

There was quiet for a moment, and then he heard soft footsteps approach and stop at his side. 

"It saddens me to see you this way, Mon Chéri. Please do not let these recent events make you treat yourself so badly." 

He popped the cap off his beer so forcefully that it went flying through the air, hitting the floor and bouncing further away, but he ignored it to swallow more of the bitter liquid. 

"It's my fault they're all gone," he said. "Not sure that excuses me to feel better about any of it." 

Curie watched him with sad blue eyes, and said, "I do not understand humans. You punish yourselves for the choices of those closest to you, when the decisions were of their own volition. Why do you do this?" 

"You're forgetting that I'm not human," he grumbled, letting his beer rest on his thigh as he stared absentmindedly out into the blue sky. 

Curie snorted. "Pardon the expression, but that is bullshit, as Miss Ellis would say. You are human, and this moping around and beating yourself up over the actions of others that you could not control, proves your humanity." 

He didn't care to contemplate his humanness at this point. "I would appreciate it if you'd refrain from saying her name from now on."

"Why is that? Did she do something wrong? My understanding was that you love her. Is that not correct?" 

Danse sighed and closed his eyes, not wanting to remember the haunted look in Ellis's eyes when she'd gotten on that train and left him standing alone on that platform. She hadn't made it clear if she would return or not, and he was almost certain now, that she wasn't coming back. 

"I just don't want to be reminded of everything I've lost," he expressed dismally, knowing full well that whether he heard Ellis's name or not, he'd continue to feel her absence. 

"Very well, Monsieur," Curie replied softly. "I do not see the cogency in such a request, but I will do as you say," she added, mirroring his thoughts, and then she left him to wallow pitifully in his grief. 

 


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was hoping to have the action scene ready to go by now, but it needs a little more work and some set-up. These next two chapters are the spackle and primer while I finish it. Shouldn't take too long. I'll post ch 39 once I get it proofed, which hopefully will be tomorrow.

**_Four days after Grandchester..._ **

 

The attendants that had shown up to say goodbye to Nate had left a while ago, so Ellis and Preston tossed heaps of dirt onto the grave until a short mound domed over it. As they tamped down the last of it with their shovels, Ellis bid her husband a final farewell, her cheeks damp from earlier tears, the red, salty trails that had aggravated the tender skin still marring her flesh.

_Goodbye, Nate. I'll never forget you._

"Well, I hope he can rest easy now," Preston said, as he set his blade in the dirt and leaned his arm over the tip of the handle, staring at the newest addition to the Wildwood Cemetery - likely in over 200 years.

Ellis frowned. "How could he? The Institute is still a threat, he went to Nuka World to help make it a better place and didn't get to finish it, and he left this world while it's still a wreck." Not to mention how he'd sacrificed his life for no good reason. "I don't think he'll be resting easy any time soon."

"I guess that's true. I just... hoped that he'd find some peace after everything he's been through."

She nodded. "He will. We'll make sure of it."

_After what he did for me, I owe him at least that much._

Preston looked over at her and blinked with hopeful eyes. "Does that mean you've considered my proposal and are accepting?"

The proposal he spoke of was about her taking over Nate's place as General of the Minutemen. He'd brought it up to her just this morning, as they prepared to leave Sanctuary. Preston thought that it was only right, considering all she'd done to help the settlements so far, and everyone knew her - and most respected her.

Honestly, Ellis wasn't so sure she could do the job, be what these people needed. The Minutemen needed a leader, not someone who caused others to lose their lives.

"I can't accept the position," she answered. "I'm sure there are more qualified and capable people to take over. Why don't you do it? Everyone comes to you anyway."

"Like I told Nate, that's not who I am," he shook his head. "I can't inspire people, but you? Maybe you're not as smooth of a talker as he was, but you're smart, and you care about people. You're a fighter, and you've got the guts to make the hard calls, just like he did. That's what the Minutemen need. Someone who isn't going to turn their back on us when things get tough. And it will get tougher, mark my words."

"Because of the Institute?" she asked.

"And the Brotherhood. They've started to push into the Commonwealth more greedily as of late."

"Doing what," she asked.

"They've threatened a few settlements into giving up supplies that they couldn't afford to part with. So far, it's just resulted in some damaged crops and scared settlers, but if it keeps up, people will start leaving for safer places, or fighting back without proper support and end up getting hurt... Or worse."

The worry in his voice was impossible to miss, and she pressed her lips together in thought.

_What next? The Brotherhood taking over whole settlements as prisoners?_

"Did Radio Freedom get that message sent to Lancer-Captain Kells like Danse asked?"

He stood up straighter, pulling the shovel out of the ground to follow behind her as she headed off for her house.

"Yeah, and the messenger overheard some of the soldiers at the airport gossiping. Seems Elder Maxson had been MIA for about a week. Now they're scrambling to come up with a plan to take on the Institute, because apparently, Maxson wasn't real generous with his strategy before he left."

Because Liberty Prime was out of service permanently - according to what Nate had told her, having stolen the power core for the giant robot and ensuring it couldn't be used against the Commonwealth - Maxson would have had to find another way. Why wouldn't he have shared it with his staff?

Ellis wondered if the incident with Danse had anything to do with Maxson's tight lips. He'd trusted Danse and then felt betrayed by the turn of events leading to the paladin's exile, which might have made him wary about trusting the rest of his people, afraid of revealing information to the Institute if there were more synths among their ranks.

_That, or it's simply because he was a power-hungry asshole who liked to feel superior even to his own people._

"Maybe they'll pack up and go back to the Capital Wasteland."

Preston snorted. "Doubt it. The Brotherhood isn't known for its willingness to back off, even if their objective is reached."

Yeah, she'd heard that, too. Something about trying to control a water purifier after fighting a group called the Enclave? She wasn't sure about the details, since not many regular folk knew more than rumors about the Brotherhood and their dealings.

She didn't bother looking back at him, just focused on setting a brisk pace so they'd get back to Sanctuary before nightfall.

"I used to think the best way to deal with the Brotherhood was just to stay out of their way," Preston continued, "but now? We've got enemies on every side, and I kind of doubt the Brotherhood's intentions toward the Commonwealth are peaceful." He sounded worried and added, "The messenger also heard talk of some synth infiltrating their ranks, and how Maxson had him killed. Jesus, if the Institute can infiltrate the Brotherhood of Steel, then nobody is safe."

Ellis tried to keep the panic in her chest from reaching her face or voice.

"Really? How did they find out? Broken Mask kind of thing?"

"Didn't say, I guess. But word was, Maxson was pissed. Maybe that's why he went after Danse, thinking he had something to do with it?"

"Whatever Maxson was thinking, we'll never know," she replied, hoping to steer the conversation away from that topic. Despite her chaotic feelings about Danse at the moment, she still felt protective of him. "What we need to focus on now is taking care of the raiders from Nuka World - which we know for a fact are a threat - and prepare to take on the Institute ourselves, once this is done."

"Nate already had Sturges working on something, but the progress has been less than impressive. Those guys _really_ know how to encrypt their data."

Ellis glanced back at him to see if he was joking, but the look on his face said he was not.

"Seriously? Nate said when he first met you, Sturges couldn't even crack a basic terminal to get a fusion core for that armor you guys found, and now he's decrypting sensitive data with layers of expert level protection?"

Preston shrugged. "Don't know what to tell you. All I can say is, if there's a way to get to those bastards, we'll find it." A minute of silence passed and then he said, "Speaking of Danse... What was that all about? Maxson kicking him out of the Brotherhood and trying to kill him..."

Ellis shook her head. "Sorry, Preston, it's not my place to say. I'm sure he'll tell you, if you ask him."

"See? That's exactly the kind of qualities I was talking about. Some of the best people out here would have just told me what they knew, but not Nate, and not you. You'd make a great General."

She didn't bother to argue.

"Do you think the Minutemen Nate gathered for Nuka World would be willing to finish the fight?" she asked. "If so, I'm in."

"Well, b-- Wait. You're going back? After you just came home?"

Whether the Minutemen carried on with the plan or not, it wasn't going to stop her from returning, but it would make things a whole lot simpler on Danse if he had fighters at his back.

"Yes, Preston, I'm going back. Danse is still in the middle of that mess, and I promised to help him. Recent events don't warrant me failing to honor my word."

"Even though his ex commander was going to kill you because of him?" Preston's tone was bitter, and she couldn't blame him.

Hell, she felt a bit bitter about the brush with death herself, but the feeling was trivial compared to putting an end to the Nuka raider threat.

"It wasn't Danse's fault," she said. "It's pretty clear that Maxson had been harboring resentment over that woman for years, and I think it just got out of control when he felt betrayed by Danse's situation. It seems that mental instability is a tough cookie to recognize sometimes."

"Then I guess we'll find out if your new title will hold up," Preston said as they took a trail northwest from Bedford Station.

Ellis kicked at a rock the size of a golf ball with the toe of her boot as she navigated a rockier piece of hill, and it went tumbling ahead of her and smashed into a tree, sending black birds scattering into the air as their perch was disturbed. She watched them fly up and around the pair of travelers, before picking another tree not far away, and settling back down onto the bare branches.

Such weird birds, with their creepy eyes and bloody beaks. She always felt like she was being spied on when they were around.

They walked the rest of the way to Sanctuary in silence, and Ellis took the rest of the night to gather her thoughts and prepare herself for the fights to come. Nothing was going to be easy from here on out, and she questioned herself a dozen times over why she'd accepted Nate's position with the Minutemen.

Did she really think she was going to be able to successfully lead a bunch of untrained, undisciplined settlers against the raiders? Let alone the Institute and its horde of killer coursers.

As she fell asleep, she decided that the best thing she could do was just give it her all, and hope she hadn't just doomed them to participate in events that would get them all killed.

 

* * *

  
**_Eight days after Grandchester..._**

 

Danse stood on the lift at the top of Fizztop, his arms bracing him as he leaned on it and looked out over the landscape. It was getting dark, and his stomach was growling, but food didn't appeal to him.

Fizztop was still too muted, too empty after just under a week of being there without the others. He'd gotten used to the constant presence of everyone shuffling around, talking and making noise. Even the regular commotions outside in the park weren't helping displace the dismal atmosphere. Despite having Curie buzzing around in the background, it was lonely there, and he was doing his best not to associate the quiet with Ellis's absence, but he knew that was why he felt hollow.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been standing out on the lift, making himself into a pretty nice damn target that no one seemed interested in making an attempt at shooting, but the next thing he knew, he looked up into the sky and it was deep blue with thousands of stars twinkling above him. It reminded him of the night he and Ellis had camped out by the Nuka transit center. The night he'd begun to really see her as a woman, and not just as his best friend's wife. As she'd spoken, Danse had been taken in by her.

A melancholy smile teased his lips as he recalled her sitting there cross-legged, looking up into the sky, her pale skin flawless in the moonlight, the light dusting of freckles over her nose almost invisible.

God, how he missed her.

Danse sighed and pushed away from the lift, moving to the bar to fix himself some food. Hungry or not, he knew he should eat.

As he stood there making noodles, he wondered if he'd ever see her again. He knew he should stop worrying about it and focus on what he was going to do about the problem at hand. He still had to clean out World of Refreshment, and finalize the attack on the raider gangs, but he was at a loss on how to do either. Not with just Curie to help him.

He was alone again. No job, no friends, no plan for the future. No Ellis.

His heart squeezed in his chest at the thought that hadn't stopped repeating in his mind since her departure, and the noodles he was pouring into a pan slipped too quickly out of the box and slopped water over the side and onto the heater, making him jerk away as it sizzled against the hot surface.

 _Damnit_. He glared at the offending noodles before smacking the lid over the pan and setting the timer that sat nearby.

He had to finish this quick, so he could watch her back. Even if she hated him now and refused to travel with him, he could at least watch over her from a distance.

It was time to stop moping like a scorned child. First thing in the morning, he was going to sit down and find another way to clean up this place and get back to the Commonwealth.

The door to the Grille opened and Curie came in with a smile on her face.

"Oh good!" she chimed, "I am happy that you're still awake, Monsieur Danse."

"Why?" he asked, his chin dropping so he could see to stir the heating food.

"Because you get so little sleep already, I would feel terrible for taking your rest away to wake you."

He shrugged. "It's okay, Curie. I haven't sleep well in a long time. So," he turned back towards the door to ask what it was that had her so excited, and he froze as a familiar figure stepped into the room.

Danse's heartbeat lurched into a run at the sight of her, his stomach fluttering.

_Ellis!_

"Miss Ellis has returned!" Curie beamed. "Now you don't have to be so unhappy anymore."

His face heated at Curie's words, as Ellis looked over at him. Would she think him weak for having struggled through these past days without her?

"You came back," he echoed stupidly.

She walked past the counters and went to drop her pack on the chair by the bed before coming back towards him. "You thought I wouldn't?"

He swallowed his pride and admitted the truth. "I wasn't sure you would want to be near me after... what happened."

Curie came around the bar and grabbed two beers, popping off the caps and handing one to each of them before quietly slipping out the door.

"I promised to help you," Ellis replied, taking a stool. "You know how I feel about backing out of deals."

He nodded, and then muttered, "Yes, but I would understand if how you feel about me now made you renounce that."

Her brow furrowed. "How I feel abou--?" Her eyes dropped to her beer and she sat quietly a moment before looking back at him to add, "Look, I don't blame anyone but myself for what happened. It was the choices _I_ made that led to Nate coming here, and it's my fault he's not here anymore, not yours."

"It didn't seem that way before you left."

"There were a lot of things going through my head, but that doesn't change the fact that the raiders here are a threat to everyone, and I gave you my word I'd help you get rid of them."

Danse gave her a nod and his lips pressed together before turning back to stir his food again. "So where does that leave us?" he dared to ask, and hesitantly glanced back at her.

"Us?"

"Our..." Dare he say relationship? "You and me," he clarified.

"Honestly... I'm not sure," her voice had a tightness to it that he hadn't heard before, and it made him expect the worst. Her tongue darted out to wet her bottom lip and she added, "Right now all I can handle is focusing on this fight and trying to fill Nate's shoes."

Danse didn't know what she meant by that last part, but all he was presently concerned with was knowing whether or not there was any hope left for them.

They drank in silence for a few minutes while he finished cooking his dinner, her reply rolling around and around in his mind. He wished there was something he could say that would encourage her not to give up on him.

When he could no longer stand the quiet, he made himself risk heartbreak by asking her straight out - because Nate had taught him not to beat around the bush when things were serious and personal.

"Do you still love me?"

Their eyes locked, and she bit her bottom lip as she set her beer bottle on the counter, then swallowed nervously.

"I do," she answered, and his eyes closed briefly as he let out the breath that had caught in his throat. "But I'm not sure that matters."

_Of course it matters!_

"Why would you say that?" It meant _everything_ to him. _She_ meant everything to him.

"I don't want to get into that right now," she replied with a shake of her head, a few strands of her chestnut hair falling to curl lazily around her face.

"Ellis, we can't just let it sit and fester between us," he tried using the tactic she'd attempted with him that day they'd traveled to Nuka World, hoping that he'd have better luck and that she wouldn't be as stubborn as he'd been. "I need to know if there's still a chance for us to be together, or if I have to close that door for good."

"I can't discuss that right now!" she croaked, and he flinched at the sharpness of her tone. "I just don't want to make any decisions while I'm too confused to talk about personal stuff, and if you force me to give you an answer this minute, then I guess we're--"

"Stop," he snapped, cutting her off before she could say they were through.

She had point. It was never a good idea to make decisions with a clouded mind. Personal business needed to wait. Besides, they had a job to do, and letting their relationship - if they even still had one - interfere with their work, wouldn't be right.

Being aware of that didn't make her words hurt any less, though - just as being left to hang in limbo was something he knew he'd have a hard time coping with. He preferred decisiveness and certainty. He'd never been able to tolerate not knowing where he stood on a matter, what his chances were. But as long as there was even a small chance, he couldn't bear not taking it.

And for Ellis, he'd do whatever she needed him to.

"I understand," he said more calmly. "We can resume this later. In the meantime, I hope that as you reflect on things, you're willing to remain friends."

Her eyes softened and she replied quietly, "I wouldn't be here if I wasn't."

He nodded and turned away. For now, that would have to be enough. 

 


	39. Chapter 39

"You can't be serious," Danse grunted from his seat across from her in the booth. "They just made you the General... without even arguing?"

She nodded solemnly. "Basically, yeah." There had been a few grumbles of disagreement with Preston's nomination of her - from Sabine at Coastal Cottage and Ronnie Shaw, mostly - but the majority of the settlers and Minutemen had been rather amenable to the idea of Ellis being the new General.

"So our attack plans are back on track, then?" his voice a little more perky than it had been since her return to Nuka World the previous night.

"Yes, but with a slight change."

A brow lifted and he hesitated in asking what that was.

"Which would be?" he asked warily, and Ellis pulled a slip of paper from her pocket, handing it over to him. He wasted no time reading through it, and then he slowly looked back up at her, disbelief in his expression. He held up the paper as he asked, "Are you certain this is real? This truly came from Lancer-Captain Kells?"

The letter was a short and pointed, no frills directive that the execution order on Danse had been lifted. He was no longer an enemy to the Brotherhood, no longer to be shot on sight - off limits to all members.

"I met him face to face on the flight deck of the Prydwen," she confirmed, "and he informed me of it himself before handing me that paper."

Kells had been quite interested to hear her first-hand account concerning Arthur's death. At first, he hadn't believed her about the kidnapping, but when she informed him of Nate's death to protect her and showed him the rope burns that still blemished her wrists, the man had accepted the truth - though the tears she'd barely managed to hold back while recounting the events might also have had something to do with it, too.

"So he knows I'm alive, and about the deal Nate made with Arthur," Danse reiterated, as if he still couldn't quite believe the words in Kells's letter.

She nodded again. "He was pretty confused about why Arthur would let you live, if the information about you was true, so he did some digging. Turns out, those results Quinlan claimed were inarguable were a little less conclusive than he and Maxson had professed."

Ellis didn't miss when his confusion shifted into hope, and he asked, "Does that mean I'm not a...?"

She sighed. "It means, they don't know one way or the other. According to Haylen, the DNA markers do have some matches, but they were far from enough to claim it was irrefutable evidence. In her report, she said that the two sets of data shared about 8% of the markers required for a positive identification."

"So in other words, there's no way to tell for certain, even if I gave a fresh sample," he reasoned.

"That's about it. It simply could be a case of corrupted data that the Institute collected beforehand, or it could be that the Institute sample doesn't belong to you at all." She gulped down the last of her coffee. "Either way, an 8% match is just not enough to say that you are, or are not, M7-97. So," she scooted to the opening of her booth seat, "Kells is willing to give you the benefit of the doubt because of all your years of service. He won't allow you to return the Brotherhood unless further evidence can be found that will pardon you, but he is willing to work with you in the meantime."

It was an olive branch that Ellis prayed he'd take. Danse needed all the experienced fighters he could get to help him with the Nuka gangs.

"...Or Quinlan could be correct," Danse's eyes fell to the table in thought, then he ventured, "And the Captain's stipulations?"

"Only two," she replied. "You keep away from their bases unless summoned by Kells and with Brotherhood escorts, and you don't raise a weapon against them."

"Not much different than Arthur's deal," he stated. "I assume if I fail to obey those rules, my life is the price."

Ellis took a breath. "Sort of."

This was where things got a little... involved, for her.

"Meaning?" his brown eyes narrowed suspiciously.

She glanced over at Curie, who sat taking it all in, her big blue eyes filled with worry, before answering. "If you fail to comply, then you'll be taken prisoner - subject to Scribe Neriah's experiments. If you run, or try to fight capture then... I'm dead."

His face slackened and the disappointment and anger that flicked in his eyes made her shudder inwardly. "Please, tell me that wasn't your idea."

She shrugged. "I had to get him to help us somehow."

"I would agree to the those terms if it were just my life on the line, but I'm not letting you risk your own." He shook his head. "Forget it. I'll find a way to do this without them."

"Too late for that. They're already on their way here," she said, slipping out of the booth to fill her mug. "I know you, Danse. And I know you'd never hurt anyone unless you had no other choice. The soldiers have their orders from Kells, so I'm not worried. It's in writing, after all, and I've already given Piper the story. If they betray the deal, or try to take you out, not only will Radio Freedom be broadcasting it, Piper will put it front and center for the entire Commonwealth to read. If they betray the Minutemen, the Brotherhood of Steel's mission in the Commonwealth is pretty much dead in the water."

"But I'm not part of the Minutemen," he said.

"That's not what the settlers at Coastal Cottage or Sunshine Tidings think," she informed him. "And that symbol on the militia hat you wear would suggest otherwise."

His mouth bowed unhappily.

"For the record," he said, as he got up and came closer to where she was standing at the bar, "I don't like this. I never thought I'd say this about the people I called family, but... I don't trust them not to find your life worth taking, if it means having me to test on."

Ellis wouldn't deny she'd considered that, but in the end, she didn't have much of a choice.

"Captain Kells isn't happy about being put in this position, but right now, we kind of need one another and he knows it. If not for our settlements, the Brotherhood will starve. And we need those soldiers. Our people are willing to fight, but they aren't experienced enough to take on the raider gangs alone. He's a hard-ass, but he seems like a straightforward man. I think Kells will do the right thing."

"How long until they get here?" Danse asked.

"ETA tomorrow afternoon. I figured you'd want to follow the same plan as before, so I told Kells to split his men as the Minutemen are doing, half team up with our guys coming in from the main gate, and the other half would meet me outside the Fizztop entrance. The attack signal will be a Vertibird dropping a couple soldiers directly into the Market to take out the three guards there."

He nodded. "Good idea. Except, who's going to lead from the main entrance?"

He didn't have to add _now that Nate's gone_ to the end of that question for her to know what he was thinking, and Ellis had to force herself to look at him with a calm expression, despite her insides twisting at the reminder.

"You are. It's your show."

Danse snorted. "Your people might follow me because you tell them to, but Brotherhood soldiers aren't going to take orders from a synth."

"Uh, they will if they don't want to be scrubbing the Prydwen's hull from the outside," she bit into a snack cake and took a drink of fresh coffee. "Kells already warned them not to cause problems, so they know what to expect if they disobey. In the meantime, we've got five guys waiting outside of World of Refreshment to help clear it out, so we better get moving."

They gathered their gear and headed out, leaving Curie to keep an eye on Fizztop.

About ten minutes into the walk, Ellis decided to ask Danse about the woman Maxson had mentioned.

"Will you tell me about Sarah? I mean, Maxson mentioned that the two of you were close."

He kept his eyes ahead of them, but she could see his shoulders tense at the question. Either the woman wasn't someone he wanted to talk about - meaning that she'd meant something to him personally - or the reminder of Maxson was like a kick to the gut. Hell, maybe it was a little of both.

"What did he tell you about her?"

"Not a lot. Said she was a born leader, spirited and beautiful, and that you were involved with her."

"Involved? As in, a relationship?" he glanced over.

She nodded, her lips pressed together.

Danse sighed. "Sentinel Lyons was the daughter of our Elder, and the leader of a prestigious group called the Lyons' Pride. Having just been promoted to Paladin, I was eager to earn a place among them, and I did all I could to make her consider me a worthy candidate." Shaking his head, Danse added, "She trained with me for a short time, and we spent some long hours in the library studying tactics and team building, but that was all."

Ellis wasn't sure she believed that last bit.

"So you and she never..." She didn't even want to say the word _sex_ , let alone think it. Picturing Danse with someone else made her feel sick to her stomach.

"Hooked up?" he looked at her with hard eyes, but she couldn't tell what he was thinking. "No. She was my superior, and possibly my future commander. I would never have stepped over the line of professionalism."

"And yet I get the feeling something happened between the two of you, or Maxson wouldn't have thought there was something going on."

His jaw flexed repeatedly before answering.

"I hadn't gotten back to the Citadel until late one night, and I went to the training room to shower, because I didn't want to wake the soldiers in the dorm room. Sarah was waiting for me when I was done. She told me that she had narrowed her choice of recruitment down to me and one other Paladin, but that she wasn't sure she could pick me, because she'd begun to think of me as more than just a fellow soldier."

Ellis nearly told him to stop right there, not sure she wanted to hear anything more personal. Instead, she held her emotions in check and let him finish.

"I liked Sarah. She was a good soldier and a respected leader, but I didn't think of her..." he blushed, " _that_ way. Arthur should already have been sleeping that night, so why he showed up in the training area, I can't say. I certainly didn't expect her to kiss me that night, or any other, but he saw it happen, and then took off. She went after him and that was the last of the incident. Sarah was killed a while later, and Arthur never spoke of any of that to me."

"The way he talked about her made it sound like he was in love with her," Ellis recalled.

"Well, everyone knew Arthur had a crush on her. It was hard not to notice a ten year old boy shadowing her around like a lost puppy. But we all thought it was just that, a boy's crush - that he'd grow out of it. After she died, Arthur never spoke of her again, and I assumed he'd forgotten about what he'd seen, as I forgot the matter." Danse looked off into the distance and sighed. "I would have died for her, as Arthur thought I should have, but then, I would have given my life for any of my brothers and sisters - out of loyalty, not love."

Ellis frowned, because she knew that the two weren't mutually exclusive, and she wondered if maybe Danse was downplaying his feelings for this woman because of Ellis - hesitant to tell the whole truth because of her past bout of jealousy over Curie, that had landed her in hot water and put her right in the hands of a crazed man. Then again, maybe he hadn't even been aware he'd felt more, but the way he spoke about her seemed a lot more emotional than what he was claiming.

"He compared me to her," she mentioned.

"You're _nothing_ like her," Danse replied instantly, a quiet scoff lilting his tone.

"Ouch," she grunted, a stab of resentment slicing through her. "Not sure I even want to ask how far under _that_ bar I fall ."

"That's not what I meant." He looked over at her with a softer set to his features. "Sarah was a soldier, through and through. There's nothing she wouldn't have done for her father, or for the Brotherhood. But she lacked sympathy, had no patience for wastelanders. She would never have looked at me and seen anything other than a monster upon hearing I was a synth, nor would she ever have gone out of her way to help the Commonwealth like you have."

Ellis's forehead lifted in surprise, and a smirk played at the corner of her mouth. "Careful, Danse. It almost sounds like you're proud of me for not being a Brotherhood soldier."

He sent her a flippant warning look. "What I'm proud of, is that you follow your heart and show compassion for others. It's one of the reasons I lo--... It's why I respect you."

The fact that he'd stopped himself from saying he loved her made Ellis's heart ache with guilt and sadness. She was punishing him by keeping him at arms length, even as she punished herself.

It wasn't fair to him, but knowing Nate had given his life for her, she couldn't allow herself to be with Danse - because being with him made her happy, and she didn't deserve that after what she'd done. She would have to earn back that right by finishing Nate's work, so he could rest in peace.

Then, if Danse was still around, still wanted to be more than friends...  

 


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's go time!

Danse stood outside the main gate, near the old bus depot, as he waited for the Minutemen and Brotherhood soldiers he was to lead through the park, wishing they'd hurry the hell up and get there. They'd camped somewhere outside the transit station, so they wouldn't be spotted by raider sentries, and so far, all was quiet - the raider gangs of Nuka World didn't know they were about to be wiped out, but all it took was one guy actually doing his damn job and the shit could hit the fan.

That, or someone getting suspicious of their actions. Curie had stayed behind in Fizztop to keep it clear of snipers that might want to utilize the vantage point against them. Normally, he and Ellis were seen together as they worked jobs, so if anyone paid them more than a passing glance now, they'd know something was up. Especially with both of them armed to the teeth and heading out of the park in opposite directions.

If they lost the element of surprise, it was going to make this much more difficult.

He was already nervous enough because Gage had stopped him on the way there, asking him once again when he was planning on assigning the parks. Danse had simply said that tomorrow would be a big day for celebration, and walked off - conveniently leaving out the part about the raiders not being around to partake in the festivities, of course - but it left him more nervous than he'd been upon leaving the Grille loaded down with gear. He was surprised no one had bothered to ask why.

But that wasn't the only thing that had him keyed up. He was nervous about coming face to face with the Brotherhood. So nervous, in fact, that he kept fidgeting with the strap of his ammo bandolier.

When Haylen had first told him about what Quinlan had found, she'd let him know that there were still some Brotherhood soldiers that believed in him, and that they were even willing to stand behind him if he confronted Maxson about the discovery and challenged the Elder's order. Of course, Danse hadn't wanted to be responsible for causing a rift in the ranks, and he'd accepted the exile without a fight. Well, until Nate had gotten involved. But it made him wonder now, how these Brotherhood Knights that would be joining them in this battle would behave towards him.

Would they be the few that supported him, or would they be the ones that wanted him dead just because of what he was?

 _Might be_ , he corrected himself, still confused by the latest news about Quinlan's findings.

But Danse's nerves were on edge for a far more important reason. He was worried about Ellis. Just because their relationship was on hiatus and he had no clue if she'd ever want to be with him again, it didn't stop him from worrying over what might happen to her out there, without him watching her back.

It was one thing for her to face ferals, mirelurks and molerats. Even her facing off against killer robots wouldn't have bothered him as much as the idea of her going toe to toe with the Nuka gangs. These people were merciless and cruel, and once they realized their very lives were being threatened, they would be even more vicious. Ellis was a good shot, but if anyone got in too close, she might have more on her plate than she could handle, and the fact that he would be too far away to assist her was really eating at his sanity.

He scanned the landscape behind the transit station again, finally seeing movement beyond. He estimated about twenty-five minutemen heading in his direction, and Danse began to sweat at the sight of four sets of power armor that traveled among them.

He held his ground, and when they finally got near enough, the Minuteman leading the group reached out, and Danse recognized him as the foreman from Sunshine Tidings.

"Danse," the man shook his hand firmly, "Sorry we had to meet up again like this, but I'm honored to fight along with you."

Danse gave a curt nod and said, "Glad to have you here. Has everyone double-checked their weapons, gear and ammo? I don't want any mishaps out there that can be avoided with proper preparation."

Alvin grinned and motioned back toward the Brotherhood Knights. "Your friend said you'd be on us about that. He already had us do checks."

 _My friend?_ Danse looked back at the Brotherhood soldiers, wondering who it could be that would claim such a title.

"We'll move closer to the main gate and wait for the signal," Danse told everyone. "When we make it through, I want six of you to cut off to the right and circle around the Market to the doorway into the other area. The rest are with me. We'll head to the left, over to the amphitheater, and take out the Pack members there. A few of you will need to wait outside and watch our backs. Once we have that area clear, we'll meet up with the rest of our group and head through toward the center section."

He finished up by ordering them to keep paired up and not let the enemy get in too close.

"Any questions?" he asked, the reverberation from the blades of an incoming Vertibird echoing through the dry air.

"Yeah," one of the Knights answered, stepping forward and pulling his helmet off. "You want us in the front on assault, or taking up the rear to keep you covered?"

Danse couldn't have stopped the shocked expression that crossed his features upon seeing the face in front of his eyes, even if he had been in complete control of himself, his mouth hanging agape until he realized he hadn't replied.

Pulling it shut, he tried his damnedest to sound calm and confident, "Knight Rhys," but the shock made his words breathy as he looked at the technically shorter man. "I... didn't expect you to be part of this," he admitted.

"Heard there were some raiders here that needed their asses kicked," Rhys grinned, his voice strong and holding a hint of amusement "Where the hell else would I be, Top?"

The sound of the nickname Rhys had given him ages ago caused his brows to jump to his hairline.

He'd never asked why that particular tag was bestowed upon him, but hearing it now gave him hope that things wouldn't be so bad with the rest of the Brotherhood. Because Rhys was all Brotherhood, all the time, never questioning whether their views were right or wrong. If Rhys was willing to behave civilly with Danse after the whole synth thing, then maybe others would as well.

"Well then, how about three of you with me, two on point and one at the rear. The other will go with the Minutemen in the other direction, on point." Danse offered, setting his face in all seriousness.

Rhys looked to his men and gave a nod to follow Danse's directions, and the soldiers were ready go.

"Whenever you're ready, Top," Rhys's helmet snapped back into place and he readied his weapon.

"Let's get to it, people!" Danse called, and led the group forward.

Setting his focus on the action to come, he put his concerns behind him. He'd just have to trust that the Brotherhood would honor their deal with Ellis and not try to shoot him in the back.

Within seconds of reaching the gate, the Vertibird passed overhead and two armored soldiers dropped into the Market area. A cry of alarm went up from a Pack raider outside the Market, and bullets started flying.

Gunfire instantly echoed all through the park, and Danse moved at a steady pace, taking out every raider that entered his line of fire. The Minutemen were doing a good job of keeping the enemy at their front, and defending their sides, and the Brotherhood laser rifles kept the raiders from getting too close.

Within five minutes they had cleared the Market area, inside and out. Within another five, the Bradburton Amphitheater was void of human life and they were approaching the access point to the inner section of Nuka Town.

They were temporarily pinned there, with only the two doorways to pass through, due to a crew of Operators on the other side shooting at them. Danse didn't dare try sending the Minutemen through.

He heard Ellis before he saw her, the commanding tone of her voice lifting over the screams of angry or dying raiders, calling out orders to her people to focus fire on the group that was holding him back.

He'd never heard her sound so confident before, and his chest swelled with pride.

"Get that minigun up here and shred those fuckers!" she yelled at someone. "Finch! Keep your eyes on that exit behind us. I don't want any stragglers popping shots at us from behind!"

Finch shouted in acknowledgement and headed back the way they'd come, and Ellis pushed forward, her minigun man revving up his weapon. The raiders, knowing what was about to happen to them, tried to make a break for it, but with Ellis on one side, and Danse on the other, there was no escape. They ran out from cover, trying to take as many Minutemen with them as they could.

Someone on her team cursed, as they took a bullet to the arm from somewhere to the their left, and Danse pushed through the doorway to see what they were dealing with. A group of raiders had pulled back into the area beside the Parlor, and Ellis shifted to follow, until she saw someone break off and rush into the building.

She ordered her people to keep moving, and she took off after the stray, disappearing behind the double doors.

 _Damnit_. What the hell was she thinking? She should know better than to follow an enemy inside tight quarters alone!

When he saw the figure of one of the Disciples dash out from cover and bust through the door after her, Danse's stomach rolled and dropped.

That was Savoy, Nisha's heavy. The man was deadly and merciless, and Ellis wouldn't stand a chance against him.

Danse turned to Rhys at his right side. "I've got to help General Mitchell. It's all yours now."

The Knight gave him a thumbs up sign and continued firing, and Danse took off across the wide yard, busting through the door without hesitation.

As he rounded the counter in the lobby a gunshot went off and someone cried out before their voice faded in death. Then a shout echoed through the building as someone prepared to attack, and Ellis cursed. Danse passed through the doorway and turned to his right, just in time to see Savoy lunge at her with his blade above his head in a downward strike.

Thank God she was agile, lifting her rifle up to block the blade from splitting her head open. The blade cracked against the polymer coating of her weapon, tossing sparks as Savoy pushed her backward into a table with a fierce and angry growl.

Danse flew across the floor, grabbing the man by the back of his shirt collar and sent him flying across the room, Savoy's back connecting with a table before falling to his ass on the floor.

"Go!" Danse yelled at her, motioning for the door.

"No way," she shook her head. "I'm not leaving you here alone with this asshole."

"Please!" he begged. "They need you out there. I've got this." Ellis glanced back behind him, her eyes widening, and Danse twisted and ducked as she opened her mouth to warn him, just in time to avoid Savoy's blade being sunk into his back. "Go!" he shouted again, as Savoy knocked his weapon from distracted hands, and far out of his reach.

Ellis bolted for the exit, as Savoy yanked him by the collar and sent him sprawling across a table. He heard the door open, gunfire briefly louder until the door closed and muffled it. Savoy growled and came at him, and Danse lifted his boot and kicked the man in the gut, sending him flying backwards to crash into more furniture, his blade sliding out of his hand to clatter to the floor somewhere on the far side.

What was with all these damn tables in the center of the room?

Danse went after him, but Savoy twisted, grabbing at a vase and hurling it at his head. Danse smacked it out of the air and threw a left hook into the man's jaw, knocking Savoy back into the table behind him. He recovered instantly, returning Danse's earlier kick, the hard sole of his boot meeting Danse's midsection and forcing the air from him in a grunt, and folding him at the waist.

Taking the opportunity, Savoy punched him in the head a few times before Danse could catch his breath, and he grabbed the strap of Danse's bandolier, jerking him forward into a smaller table and kneeing him in the gut twice before he could block it. Lowering his arm, Danse deflected the last knee and then sent his elbow back at the man, hoping to catch him in the face.

Again, the other man was very fast, leaning out of the way and grabbing the back of Danse's shirt, pulling him off balance and throwing him into a curio that sat against a wall. The panes of glass shattered, and rained down on Danse as he sank to the floor, his arms covering his head to protect his eyes from the falling shards.

Savoy started toward him, and Danse grabbed the narrow table nearest him and launched it into the man's legs, hoping to dislocate a knee at the very least, but though the man grimaced in pain and growled, it didn't stop him.

Danse tossed a right hand punch at his face, but the man caught his arm with a left block and countered, punching him in the gut. Grabbing around the back of his neck, he pulled Danse's head down and smacked it into a tabletop before yanking him around and throwing him across the room.

Danse sprawled across the floor, but rolled quickly to his feet as the man ran at him, and he was able to deflect a punch to the side of his head, while sending a fist into the man's torso a few times. Kicking out, Savoy's foot connected with Danse's abdominals, and he was shoved back into a wall, where his back connected with a snap.

The man rushed in, aiming to grab his shirt collar again, but Danse's reach was longer and he beat the man to it, yanking them around so he could pin the man in the place he'd just occupied. Immediately, he yanked the man forward and down, sending his own knee into the man's ribs, once, twice, three times before the man could shake loose from his grasp.

As Savoy tried to spin away, Danse caught the back yoke of his shirt and pulled him backwards, wrapping his forearm around the man's throat in a choke hold.

Normal reaction would have been to reach up and try to pull the arm away in panic, but this man knew better - whether from years of hand to hand fighting, or some kind of training, Danse couldn't be sure. He twisted slightly to his left and sent his elbow back into Danse's ribs with short, sharp thrusts, and Danse had to break the hold or have his ribs fractured.

He pushed Savoy away from him as hard as he could, and the fellow stumbled several feet away before a knee gave out and he hit the floor.

Spying his loose Disciples Blade on the floor nearby, the man rolled to it, then lunged to his feet to face Danse. He approached, angry swings flying, and Danse dodged them awkwardly, backing away as fast as he could. Spying a metal platter on a table nearby, he grabbed for it, bring it up just as the man jumped at him, the blade aimed for his head.

He used the tray to smack the knife hand away, making Savoy lose his grip, and the knife went flying.

Danse immediately shoved the edge of the tray into the man's gut, then tried to hit him in the head as the man was forced to bend over from the rush of air that left his lungs. Unfortunately Savoy was able to deflect the blow, punching Danse in the face instead, and making him stumble backwards.

Before Danse could recover his footing, the man jumped him and put him in a head lock. For a moment, he was stuck, lights flashing behind his eyelids as his throat was squeezed and his breath cut off.

Forcing himself not to panic, he balled the fingers of his hand and sent hard jabs into the inside of the man's thigh. Savoy yowled in pain, and his grip loosened enough for Danse to shift his shoulders under the man's arm, and twist away on his knees. It was far enough that he was out of arms reach, but close enough to attack, and he sent out a hard kick to the man's shin, shoving his opponent's foot out from under him. There was a sickening crack, and Savoy went crashing to the floor face first.  

Leaning down, Danse yanked the man upward with him, as he regained his own footing, then shoved him back into a concrete pillar, his forearm against the man's throat. Savoy choked, unable to use his now broken leg for leverage, and his eyes bulged as his air flow was completely cut off.

He grabbed at Danse's arm, tried hitting him in the head with a fist, but Danse pressed harder, and harder still, until the sound of the man's windpipe snapping sounded in his ears.

Savoy's eyes glazed over, and Danse stepped back, letting his body drop lifelessly to the floor.

As he turned away to find his weapon, a figure in the doorway caught his attention and he looked over, freezing in that spot.

Ellis stood there, her weapon held tightly in her hands, and her hazel eyes glancing from him to Savoy and back, her expression unreadable.

He swallowed hard, wondering how much of a monster she thought he was now, after seeing such a display of violence from him.

She blinked, her eyebrows furrowing slightly. "Fucking took you long enough," she snickered. "Thought you were in here napping while the rest of us were out there dodging bullets."

The breath that had unknowingly caught in his throat came out in a grunt, and he moved to retrieve his gun, his arm cradling his sore ribs. "I was a bit busy getting my ass kicked."  

Ellis huffed and nodded back over at Savoy. "Did you see the other guy?"

He shuffled behind her as she exited the building into the sunshine, and he could hear the whoops and victory calls going up all over park.

Danse hung back as Ellis was greeted by the Minutemen, and stood off to the side while she spoke to the Brotherhood soldiers. When some of the Nuka folk began to approach the group to thank them for what they'd done, Rhys made his way over to Danse, and stood next to him as he leaned against a wall.

"You look like you just went a couple rounds with a Behemoth," the Knight chuckled.

"Feels like it, too," Danse grimaced as his shifted to find a more comfortable position. Savoy was a monster. Would figure he'd fight like one.

Rhys was quiet a minute, then said, "So. You love her, huh?"

Danse glanced at him sideways and shook his head like he didn't know what the man was talking about.

"Oh please. The way you dashed out through a volley of gunfire to help her? The way you were just watching her like she was the only person around... I've never seen you look so damn dopey," Rhys snorted with a grin. "It suits you."

Danse's brow lifted. "What does?"

"Love, Sir," Rhys grinned.

His cheeks colored, his eyes drifting back to Ellis as she made her way over to them.

"Thanks again, Rhys," she said as she stopped closer to Danse's side. "These people will have a real chance at a home now."

"Just following orders," he nodded, "but I'm glad I was a part of it. Well," he let out a whistle to get the attention of his men, and lifted his arm to give it a circular wave, finger pointed to the sky. "Time to go. I'll give my report to Lancer-Captain Kells, but he'll want to speak with you, General Mitchell."

"That's fine. I should be back in the Commonwealth in no more than a week, I imagine."

Rhys put out a power-armored hand toward Danse, and Danse pushed himself off the wall to accept it.

"It was damn good to see you again, Top. Hope this won't be the last."

"Likewise, Knight. You're still one hell of a soldier."

He meant it, too. Rhys may always have been a hot head, but his combat skills and bravery were far more than enough to make up for it. Danse missed that. Missed leading his squad into missions, and the camaraderie of a well-oiled team.

He stood next to Ellis and watched the soldiers disappear, the Minutemen and Nuka World crowd talking all around them. Warmth on his shoulder made him turn his head, and he found Ellis's hand there as she watched him with kind, but sad eyes.

"Come on," she said, taking his gun from his hand and pushing him towards Fizztop. "Let's get those cuts cleaned up and have a few beers. I think we've earned them."

He walked next to her in silence for a minute, and then said, "So the Nuka Raiders are no more, and you can go home."

She nodded, looking out across the debris-littered pond. "A small force of Minutemen will be here for a bit, to keep everyone safe and to aid in the cleanup. Only one thing left for me to help with here, but it'll have to wait a few days until you're up to snuff."

Their eyes met and he took a breath, already knowing what she was thinking, but he asked anyway. "Power plant?"

She nodded with a grin. "Power plant."

He tried not to sound so happy about having more to keep them busy - another task that would keep her by his side longer - and he let out a phony groan, "Another day, another assignment."

A lively laugh burst from her lips, and she bumped her shoulder playfully into his as they stepped onto the lift.

"You're a cornball," she teased, and his mouth lifted in a lopsided grin.

 _Only with you_ , he wanted to say, but he kept his mouth shut and watched her eyes twinkling at him instead. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're in the homestretch. Only a few chapters left. I'm both excited, and sad to see it coming to an end. I hope you enjoy what's left of it. I'm pretty nervous about what's next, but hopefully you won't think it's too crazy.  
> Next update coming soon!


	41. Chapter 41

Danse had returned to the Commonwealth with her, staying in the spare room under the stairs of the Sanctuary house. Ellis wouldn't call it _her_ house, or her _home_ , because she didn't feel that it belonged to her, or that she belonged there. But for now, it would have to do. 

It had been a couple weeks since they'd left Nuka World, and Danse still hadn't brought up the topic of their relationship. She wasn't sure why he was being quiet about it, but she was glad. The longer he kept silent, the longer she could go on pretending that he'd stick around until she could get through this mess in her heart and her head. 

So far, he seemed content with daily work around the settlement, repairing weapons for the Minutemen and even modding some at a settlers' request. He'd helped out with some building here and there, and had taken a few guard shifts. But Ellis knew it wouldn't last. Soon he'd tire of waiting on her and leave. 

She couldn't be angry with him if he did. 

She sat at one end of a beige sofa, her feet tucked up into the cushions next to her and a blanket pulled over her up to her shoulders as thoughts steamrolled through her mind. 

She'd been having a hard time sleeping since just before returning from Nuka World, and tonight it was evading her once again. 

It was storming out. At first it started with drizzles of random drops. _Plip... Plop.... Plip. Plop... Plip._ They rang on the roof overhead, the tempo speeding up after a few minutes and the drops falling harder, pelting the wood shingles and running off the sloped sides. 

If it weren't for the fact that the house reminded her of Nate, it might have been cozy to sit and listen to the rain, bundled in a soft blanket. 

She watched the waterfalls become more steady as the storm strengthened, and she took a deep breath, thankful at least for the cleansing rain, as it scrubbed the stale air clean. Maybe it would clear out her head as well. 

The clouds were heavy and dark, but not so thick that they completely blocked the moon, and she could see it every minute or so, as the storm passed by. Lightning flashed randomly from farther to the south, and thunder rumbled in the distance. 

"Can't sleep again?" Danse asked, walking up behind her. He'd already noticed her insomnia, as it seemed to coincide with his own lately. 

She nodded, and listened to the sounds of the floorboards creak lightly as his bare feet moved around the couch toward her, and he sat down at the other end. A flash of lightning lit the room, and from the corner of her eye she could see that he was wearing nothing more than red plaid boxers and a white, ribbed tank, and Ellis fought the urge to let her eyes drift to his muscular chest - of which her tongue was now begging to taste. 

"If you want to talk," he said, "I'm here for you." 

Ellis shook her head. "Thanks, but I'm okay. Just..." she shrugged under the blanket, "wishing things were different." 

She could feel him watching her, studying her face in the poor lighting, and knew he was waiting for her to elaborate. When she didn't, he licked his lips and said, "I want you to know, you can speak your mind. I promise not to judge." 

There was no way she could keep her eyes from drifting to his face after hearing that, and she offered him a feeble smile. "I appreciate that, but I'm not sure if I could even put it all into words. At least, not the right words." 

He nodded understanding. "Yes, I've been there, but I seem to recall someone telling me that if they were honest words, then they were the right words." 

Ellis breathed out a little huff from her nose. "Figures you'd remember that." 

"I'm not forcing you," he assured her. "I just want you to remember that I've got your back, and that nothing is going to change that." 

Nothing? Even if she never got past this insane guilt over Nate's death? She doubted that. 

"I don't expect you to put up with me," she replied and looked back out the window. "I know my issue is not fair to you, and I wouldn't blame you if you packed up and disappeared." 

It would rip her heart in two to see him go, but she would never blame him. 

"Hey," he said, leaning closer to reach out and wrap his fingers around her arm, pulling her towards him. Ellis shifted and let him drag her against him, her need to be close to him greater than her will to keep herself away. "I already told you that I wasn't going anywhere unless you tell me that you don't want me around." Danse pulled her to his chest and wrapped his arms around her, setting his chin at the top of her head. "I meant that."

"It's not fair to you though," she repeated in a whisper. "I hate hurting you, and it just adds to the guilt I feel already." Tears welled in her eyes as she snuggled into his chest. 

He was quiet a moment, then said, "If I lost you, I don't know what I'd do. I would rather endure a lifetime of being only your friend, than to be forced to leave your side, and I'll do whatever you need me to, for as long as it has to be that way." 

The pools in her eyes spilled over and ran down her cheeks, his cotton shirt catching the tears that dripped off her face and soaking them up like a thirsty sponge. 

"I don't deserve you," she choked, and his arms tightened. 

"Nonsense. What you don't deserve is the guilt you're shoveling onto your shoulders over things that were out of your control. I know a thing or three about that, so there's no point in arguing with me." 

A flash of light lit the yard outside, drawing her eyes toward it, and her heart jumped as the lightning disappeared and left the landscape in darkness again. 

_What the hell?_

Ellis sniffed and pushed away from him to sit up more, and his arms loosened, his hands sliding to her shoulders. Her brows furrowed, her eyes scanning the darkness. 

Maybe her eyes had just been playing tricks on her, but she could swear she'd seen a man standing out there. Impossible. It was pouring down rain. No one would be out there, just standing in the middle of her yard, watching them through the big window. 

A shiver ran up her back, as another flash of lightning streaked across the sky and her eyes jerked to the dark shape on the grassy slope, and she froze, her entire body chilling as she recognized the features. 

_No. No, it can't be!_

She blinked, and the image was gone, the yard dark again. 

"Ellis?" Danse asked, his eyes following her line of sight to see what had caught her attention. "What's wrong?" 

"Out there," she breathed. "I-- I could have sworn I saw someone." 

To his credit, Danse didn't scoff at her. He didn't even try to convince her she was seeing things. 

Maybe it was because of their experience with Lucy at the Mystery Mansion, or because she was so freaked out, but he sat still as a statue, as if he were waiting for another flash of lightning to light up the yard and see for himself. 

If that was the case, then his wish was granted a few seconds later, and they both jerked into action at what they saw, because the lightning that came flashing over the lawn wasn't lightning at all. 

Ellis shouted a silent curse as she watched the blue-white energy spikes from the Institute's relay snap through the air, and then dozens of Gen 2 synths were rushing across the yard toward the settler homes. 

 

* * *

 

Fear charged through him, adrenaline immediately pumping into his veins as Danse realized what he was seeing was not the lightning from the storm, and that the silhouettes outside the house were not a figment of his imagination.

Pushing to his feet, he grabbed Ellis's hand and pulled her with him, scrambling to reach the closest weapon in the house. 

Just as they crossed through the doorway of his room, the front door splintered open and broken pieces of wood went scraping across the plank floor, as the base crashed open into the wall. 

He dashed across his room, grabbing his weapons. Rifle in hand, he turned back, shoving his sidearm into Ellis's hand before reaching out to push her behind him and aiming his weapon at the doorway. There was nowhere to run. They could try breaking the window and squeezing through, but there was no time, and the only way out of the house was either past the Institute operative to the front, or around the corner to the back door. Either way, they'd be clear targets.  

"There's no point trying to resist," the man said from down the hallway, and Danse went cold all over. 

No. It wasn't possible. 

_He sounds just like--_

"Nate?" Ellis's voice cracked as she spoke, and Danse felt her grab at the back of his shirt as if she needed support staying on her feet. 

"It can't be," Danse insisted. "We both saw him die." 

For God's sake, she'd already buried him! It was _impossible_ for Nate to be there now. 

The man spoke again, and this time, there was no way to deny the truth. The voice belonged to his dead friend. 

"I'm not here to hurt you, Ell. I'd like you to come with me on your own, but I'll make you... if I have to," Nate warned, stopping just to the side of the doorway. 

Danse's skin prickled at the veiled threat. Whatever the hell was going on, he wasn't about to let anyone near her. 

"She's not going anywhere," he said. "Not with you. Not now, and not ever." 

The man stepped into the doorway, and Danse's finger slid down from the side of his weapon to caress the trigger, his pulse ticking faster as he registered the two coursers in the hallway behind his target. 

"Listen, there are things going on here that you don't know about. You're a very skilled fighter, but you won't be a match for us, Danse. Or do you prefer Paladin? At any rate, don't try to be a hero." 

Being a hero was the farthest thing from his mind at the moment, but he'd agree, he didn't have a goddamn clue what was going on, or how the hell they knew who he was.

What the hell was happening?

If this _was_ Nate, then why the hell was he relaying in from the Institute? Why was he helping them attack Sanctuary, after everything he'd done to make it home for the people he had vowed to protect? And who the hell had been with them in Nuka World? Who had Ellis buried? 

And if it wasn't Nate, then why look like him? And most importantly, why did he want Ellis now? 

"Care to explain why you're wearing my best friend's face?" Danse prompted. 

Besides wanting answers, he thought maybe if he could get the man to talk more, someone might notice he and Ellis hadn't shown up to help fight the Gen 2's outside, and would come looking for them. Any kind of distraction might help. 

"You know, I find it very interesting that you have no trouble calling that man your best friend, while simultaneously chasing after his wife." He smirked at Danse, and then shrugged. "Doesn't really matter though, does it? Seeing as he's dead and you'll never want to see her again after this."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Ellis piped up from behind him, drawing Nate's attention. 

Before Danse could comprehend what was happening, the man in front of him uttered the strangest reply, and all hell broke loose. 

"Ell one fifteen, recall code sigma one omega," Nate said, and Ellis cried out, Danse's handgun clunking to the floor as she let go of it to grab at her head with both hands, shrieking in pain. 

The shocked expression on Nate's face said that her reaction hadn't been what he'd expected, and Danse didn't waste time asking why. He used the opportunity to slam the butt of his rifle into the man's face and then aimed at the coursers behind him before Nate had even hit the floor. 

He knew he caught them with at least half a magazine before they realized what was going on, because hot bullet casings were strewn across the floor and blood was splattered all over the place, dripping down the walls like tears, and leaving a trail away from the doorway as they dodged for cover. He heard the clicks of their stealth fields being activated and he slammed the bedroom door closed and yanked the dresser over on its side in front of it to delay them re-entry. 

Nate was on his feet again, reaching for an electrified baton, and Danse used his gun to block a few of his attacks, but he wasn't prepared for the courser that relayed into the room behind him, and by the time he felt the movement at his back, it was too late. When something solid connected with the back of his head, he knew the battle was lost. 

As his knees buckled and he sank to the floor, Ellis's cries of agony were already fading from his consciousness, and understanding of the situation blossomed just before his body hit the floor and it was light's out. 

Ell one fifteen wasn't a statement, it was a designation: L1-15.

_Ellis is a syn--_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you see that coming?


	42. Chapter 42

Danse was nursing the worst headache of his life, as he sat in the kitchen, an ice-pack to the back of his head and anger boiling in his guts.

And as if his souvenir of cranial suffering, the shocking turn of events, and the embarrassment of being turned into a floor decoration by that ignoble courser weren't enough to deal with, Deacon had shown up to add irritation to the mayhem - just after Danse had regained consciousness and staggered out of his room looking for the attackers. Probably about three minutes or so after, if he had to guess.

_Coincidence, or perfectly chosen timing?_

Curie administered a Stimpak at the base of his neck, then offered a Med-X, too, but he refused it.

"Maybe you shouldn't be so quick to decline," Preston suggested from his seat nearby. "That knock you took can't be feeling any better than it looks."

"No," Danse said, his shoulders slumped against the chair rest. "My senses have been dulled enough over the last few months on their own, I don't want them at a greater disadvantage now."

So many questions were rolling around in his mind, that he wasn't even sure where to begin the search for answers.

"I don't understand how we missed it," Preston said, leaning forward in his chair, elbows on his knees. "I didn't know her all that well, but she never seemed different to me. Surely Nate would have noticed if she'd been acting strange. If a husband can't even tell, how the hell would anyone else?"

"Uh.. hellooo," Deacon drawled, "that's _kind of_ the point, remember?"

"Did _you_ know?" Danse asked Deacon grumpily, as he waited for the throbbing in his skull to lessen to a dull quiver. It was the Railroad's job to help synths. If anyone out there would know, surely it would be them. Right?

The man was currently lounging in a nearby chair - those stupid sunglasses on his face, even though the sky was gloomy with the remnants of the previous storm.

"That she was a synth?" the spy asked, his chameleon brows lifting from behind the mirrored frames. "I'm a master of disguise, not a walking synth detector," he scoffed. "None of us knew. She obviously didn't, or she would have known what was coming when those coursers showed up."

"Which means that she wasn't an infiltrator, right?" Preston asked Deacon.

"That's my take. Infiltrators always know what they are. That's how they get caught. They have the memories of the person they're replacing, but they lack the little things that make the person who they are, so the little mistakes add up sooner or later, or one big fuckup blows their cover. Ellis was just Ellis, for as long as I can tell."

Preston nodded in agreement.

Danse wanted to believe that. _Had_ to believe it. Thinking otherwise might drive him mad. He had to believe that she had been just as clueless about her true identity as he'd been about his. If not, if she'd played him...

What if the woman he loved had been replaced and he hadn't even noticed? Worse still was the thought that his Ellis might be dead now, maybe even for weeks, by this point. What if he'd been intimate with a counterfeit?   

 _Oh God._ The thought made him queasy.

"Why her, though?" Danse prompted. "What would they have to gain by abducting her and replacing her with a forgery?" he wondered out loud.

What purpose did it serve to let her roam the Commonwealth thinking she was Ellis Mitchell? Why give her Ellis Mitchell's memories in the first place? Had she been some sort of spy to watch Nate? Why let her go to Nuka World and rid it of raiders? The Institute had never cared about the raider problem before this.The only thing that Danse figured might be to their advantage there, was putting her in the position to become leader of the Minutemen. That gave them instant access to the entire population of settlements across the Commonwealth; access to building resources, information, subjects and more.

But then, the fact that they had snatched her back so suddenly would seem to contradict that theory.

Danse closed his eyes and leaned his head back, letting loose a growl of frustration as he pressed the ice-pack harder into his head, as if he could make it enter his brain to freeze the madness that screamed inside it, the urge to punch something steadily growing into a desperate need as he became increasingly pissed off with every minute that passed, void of answers.

Preston shrugged. "No idea. A lot of this doesn't make sense."

That was an understatement. _None_ of it made sense.

"Do we care?" Deacon asked. "Are we caring about that?"

"We have to care, don't we?" Garvey responded. "I mean, yeah, she's done some stuff for the Minutemen, helped some settlers here and there, but is that reason enough to go barging into the Institute declaring war? We'd be crazy to do that. They've got an inexhaustible army at the push of a button, and we've got... what? A handful of settlers with pipe pistols. We're no match."

Was it even possible that Ellis had never been replaced? That the woman he loved had always been a synth? The very idea seemed nearly impossible, but still, if there was a chance that the Ellis he'd fallen for was a synth, shouldn't he attempt to rescue her? Would she have been deleted by now?

And if the Ellis he loved was the human woman? Should he rescue a fake Ellis?

In any case, was she even still alive? Could he get her back? Was a rescue hopeless? Impractical?

Deacon's mind seemed to be on that same train of thought - different car maybe, but same train - because the next thing he asked was, "So, Mister former-Paladin-of-the-Brotherhood-of-Steel, are you going to risk your neck to get her back, or are you throwing in the towel because she's a synth?"

Danse watched Deacon with narrowed eyes as the man rose from his seat to pull a mutfruit from the basket that sat in the center of the kitchen table.

"Go to hell, Deacon," Danse's voice dropping dangerously low. He truly didn't appreciate being reminded of how bigoted and close-minded he'd been. "I only need to know three things. Is she still alive? Who will she be when I get to her? And how the hell do I accomplish that?"

Deacon turned back with a smirk. "So we _are_ planning a heist. Excellent." He returned to his seat and dropped into it, biting into his fruit, careful to keep the juice from dribbling down his chin with a neat wipe of a denim sleeve across his mouth.

Danse eyed him warily, not trusting the change from single accusation slung his direction to suddenly being spoken to as if they were partners in crime.

"Those are fair questions," Preston said, sitting up. "Knowing what we're getting ourselves into would be helpful."

"We?" Danse asked. "But you just said the Minutemen won't stand a chance."

"You don't seriously think we're going to let you go in there on your own, do you?" Preston asked. "We may be outmatched, but if you're going in there, then so are we."

"Who's to say she's still even Ellis, though?" Danse couldn't help but ask. "I told you they used the recall code on her, and by now, they've probably wiped her memory and turned her into a broom pusher." Or worse.

"You also said that it didn't work," Deacon reminded him.

No. What he'd said, was that it hadn't worked _correctly_. "They still took her, and you know what happens after that."

Deacon didn't seem to have a reply for that, which Danse would have found quite satisfying under different circumstances. The Railroad agent usually had a comment for every occasion, so his silence now cemented the seriousness of the situation.

One of two things would happen to L1-15, according to what Nate had told him. She would either be taken to the Synth Retention Bureau so they could wipe her mind and reprogram her, or they would kill her.

Danse wasn't sure about the actual mechanics of the recall codes, but he'd seen one used before on a synth raider at Libertalia (this was after his exile from the Brotherhood, mind you), and he'd been shocked at how easily it had incapacitated the target; And yes, Danse had met X6-88. And yes, the courser creeped him the hell out, and absolutely yes, Danse had been very careful not to say anything around the synth that might make the Institute suspicious of his true identity.

"How long would they wait to scrub her memories?" Danse asked offhand.

Not that he had even the slightest clue where to start with a rescue plan, but if he could figure something out, knowing if she would still be Ellis, or if she would already be lost to him by the time he got to her, might matter. It would be the difference between rescuing the woman he loved, and saving a synth who probably wouldn't even recognize him - who might even fight against his efforts because he'd be a stranger.

Deacon shrugged. "This is one time I haven't got a clue. We've never dealt with this kind of situation before. I mean, sure, synths have been reclaimed right out from under us, but having a recall code fuck up like that? Never even heard of such a thing happening. And the only information I have about that process from the inside is hearsay. No one's actually seen it happen, or if they have, they don't remember."

"What do you think caused it to malfunction?" Preston asked.

"It didn't," Curie interrupted, and as the men looked over to her, she stepped around the table and continued. "Apologies for the intrusion, but I have a theory. If I may share it, Monsieur Danse?" He accepted without hesitation, of course. The more minds on this problem the better, as far as he was concerned. "If you'll recall, Miss Ellis suffered a notable amount of intracranial pressure after her injury not long ago, which resulted in her vision loss."

Danse nodded. How could he forget that? The anxiety they had endured; the long days of waiting with nothing to do, and the worry that grew heavier as the days passed without change or improvement. Not to mention the morning he'd helped her in the shower...

"Go on," his voice cracked, his skin warming at the memory.

"It is my thought that the cerebral edema must have dislodged the synth component from proper alignment," she explained. "Since the recall code signals the component to disrupt the neural pathways, it is likely the uncontrolled electrical impulses scattered through her brain, shocking it instead."

Deacon was eyeing Curie warily at this point. "How do you know so much about synth brains?"

Big blue eyes blinked innocently back at the man and she said, if not with a bit of exasperation, "I learned from Doctor Amari, of course! She was so very kind to help me become more human so that I could continue with my research. She thought it might help me to understand this new body and adjust to its functions if I knew more about its structure. She taught me many things, of which I am very grateful."

Her answer seemed to satisfy him, judging by the shamed expression that darted over his face - to which Danse could relate. Questioning Curie's honor or intentions had a tendency to make a person feel like they'd kicked a doe-eyed puppy.

"Wait," Preston intervened. "So if they can't use the component on her anymore, then why take her back? I thought the only way to remove it was... you know..."

"Splitting their skull open like a meaty melon?" Deacon said for him, and Preston gave him a disgusted look.

"While they could not use the device to shut down her neural functions," Curie answered, "they can deactivate it."

"Okay, but does that mean they can't wipe her memories?" Preston was on a roll now. "I mean, if they can't use it to wipe her mind, then what will they do with her? What would be the point in keeping her alive if they can't reprogram her?"

Curie met his gaze, and said prosaically, "It only sends out the impulses on activation. Without the recall code to turn it on, the component is much like a vestigial organ, sitting dormant and unneeded."

His eyebrows jumped at that. "Are you saying that a synth could function on a normal basis without it?"

"That is correct," the former Ms. Nanny answered happily.

"Wait," Deacon leaned forward in his chair. "Let me get this straight. You're saying that the synth component isn't used for anything other than to disable the brain. Like... ever? I thought it was how the Institute gave them personalities."

Danse's brows furrowed at the spy, feeling as if Deacon had been playing a trick on him the entire time they'd known one another.

"Shouldn't a Railroad agent already know this stuff?" Danse asked him. "You told Nate you that your job was intel. I would think that someone whose job description was gathering information, would want to know the operating mechanics of the machines you're attempting to salvage."

"What part of _spy_ gave you the impression that I know the scientific aspects of synth engineering?" the man bristled.

Danse snorted at him. He didn't have to see Deacon's eyes to know the man was glaring at him from behind those dark lenses, but he didn't care.

Curie cleared her throat politely and answered Deacon's earlier question."Information is imparted much the same way that the Memory Den pods operate. It is simply the transfer of undeveloped data. Once awake, the brain processes the information and forms thoughts and behaviors based from that, into what you call a personality. It is true that some synths possess cybernetic enhancements, but from my understanding, that is only the coursers."

"Which explains their heightened speed, power, intelligence, yada, yada, yada," Deacon prattled and sat back in his chair.

"So what does all this mean for Ellis?" Preston asked, looking to Curie.

"If my theory is correct, then it means they'll have to disable the component before they can remove her current memories," she answered. "Unfortunately, without knowing how that process works, I cannot estimate how long it would take, if it is even possible."

"What do you mean by _if it's possible_?" Deacon asked. "Please tell me you're not suggesting the stupid component fried her brain permanently."

Curie glanced at Danse with sad, shy eyes and shrugged. "Apologies, but I cannot say."

"I understand," Danse told her. "Thank you for trying to help, Curie."

She bowed her head in a low nod and then left the men alone. A moment later, Preston rose and followed in her footsteps, turning back briefly at the broken front door. "You'll let me know what the Minutemen can do to help?"

Danse nodded, and Preston disappeared.

"Well," Deacon twisted and let his elbow hang over the back of his chair, "I guess it's up to you, buddy. You still think Ellis is worth risking your neck for?"

"Have you ever helped a synth escape the Institute more than once? What I mean is, if a synth is reclaimed, do they try to escape after being reset?"

Deacon slouched a bit, but his attempt at giving Danse the impression he was relaxed didn't go unnoticed as a complete sham. The spy was uncomfortable, and likely the next words out of his mouth would be a lie.

"Not that I'm aware of," Deacon answered bluntly. "But it's not like we keep records. Why do you ask?"

How could he explain the reason for his question? How could he say it words that wouldn't make him sound like a total, selfish asshole?

"I just wondered... If a synth's actions after a memory wipe are the same as before, then maybe there is still part of that version in there somewhere. And if there is, then maybe... Do you think she might remember me? Even retain a vague knowledge of me, if the mind wipe was successful?"

It was a dumb question. He knew it was ridiculous to think that any part of the Ellis he knew would survive, would see him and remember that she loved him, but he had to ask. To hope.

Deacon sighed and answered, "I have no fucking clue. Sorry. But I can tell you this. Those bastards need to be put down like a rabid dog. Now, before they do this shit to anyone else."

Danse agreed. No one deserved to die or be a slave, or a pet, or whatever the hell else the Institute felt like using them for. One way or another, he was going to end those sons of bitches.

It occurred to him then, that he'd rebelled against the Institute as M7-97, and later, he'd fought them as Paladin Danse. Which told him one very important thing: No matter what his name was, or where he came from, he was no coward.

He'd always been willing to risk his life for a greater purpose; for freedom and the betterment of mankind - first for himself, and then for others. If he happened to get caught, no matter what they did to him or who they turned him into, chances were, he'd fight them again. And if he could do it, so could Ellis, or L1-15, or whatever her name would be after this.

There had to be a way to get her back, and nothing was going to stop him from trying. Not fear, and not the Institute.

_And certainly not a goddamn memory wipe._

"I'm going to need your help," Danse reluctantly admitted.

A shit-eating grin spread across the spy's face and he replied with a swift, "I'm aaall ready to go."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I freely admit that I do not understand the in-game explanations of how synth brains are designed or function. I've listened to Amari, eavesdropped on Institute scientists, and read every terminal entry I could find on this subject, and the resulting picture in my head still resembles a half-finished Pickman painting.
> 
> Bonus to anyone who catches the homage to my favorite movie of all time.


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I decided to not to drag this out, so I'm posting the last three chapters at once. (note copied to ch 44 &45 in case it's missed here).

"You wanted to see me, Director?"

Alan Binet came to stand in front of the older man, sweat already beading on his high forehead.

The Director was not an easy man to please, nor was he easy to pacify once his patience had worn thin. Alan already figured he knew what this latest "visit" would be about it, and he wasn't in a big rush to be under the older man's scrutiny again.

"It's been quite a while since you submitted a report on B1-33. I'd like to know what kind of progress is being made."

The old man was referring to Eve, the female synth that Alan had created to be a surrogate mother for his son, Liam.

Alan's theory about the Institute's creations had developed into a very personal project - which had founded other recent projects.

Since Alan's wife had passed, he and Liam had a very difficult time adjusting. He thought it was the perfect opportunity to test one of this theories, while at the same time helping them cope with her loss more easily, so he created B1-33 in his wife's image.

But he had to be very careful in how he went about his experiments, because very few people agreed with what he was trying to prove here, and the Director was not among the open minded. But, he'd approved the project, on the stipulation that Alan send him weekly updates - of which he'd apparently neglected.

"My apologies," Alan offered. "I've been so busy of late with the newest line of synths, that I haven't had time to sit down and type up a report."

He wouldn't mention that the Director's own personal projects were taking up much of his time - because that would just be stupid to bring S9-23, L1-15, and N4-73 into it. To do so would show the hypocrisy of the Director's words - because nothing of his own experiments had been logged into the Institute archives, but everyone else had to follow the rules or face consequences.

"I can imagine that your time is limited for such tasks, Doctor, but they are logged for a reason. We must hold to our rules if we are to achieve results and grow as a community. I'll expect a full, detailed account within two days. In the meantime.. and speaking of our rules, I would like you to explain why Doctor Volkert just sent me a memo about L1-15."

L1 was based off Alan's concept of Eve, though the details differed. This experiment was upon personal request from the Director's father.

Nathaniel Mitchell's first wife had died, and he wanted a synth created for her, with the desire to transfer her consciousness directly to the synth, so that Nora would have a living body. Unfortunately, she'd been dead for over two hundred years, which meant that even her memories were utterly impossible to recover. Any synth created from her DNA would look like her, and may even have similarities in character, but it would not be Nora, or be a lot like her.

Knowing this, Mitchell turned down the idea. If he couldn't have the real Nora, then no synth replacement would be good enough, and it would simply remind him of his loss.

But he was lonely - yet he spurned the idea of finding a new companion. He wanted a piece of his past, and so they created L1-15; a synth created in the image of his second wife. Ellis, too, had died over 200 years before. Unfortunately, do to the brain damage suffered by the wound Kellogg had inflicted, transferring her consciousness directly was an unattainable goal. But this time, there was a silver lining. Ellis Mitchell had been cryogenically frozen. As such, the majority of her brain function had been preserved at the time of her death (when Kellogg had killed her to retrieve Shaun), making it possible for them to extract most of her memories.

The Institute had never done anything like this before, though. And the Director didn't want her to cause his father any more grief, if - mentally - she wouldn't turn out to be the same woman he'd known before. So he'd devised an experiment: Create a synth replacement for each of the couple, and put them in their corresponding Vault pods. Let them find their own way, and see how much of a resemblance resulted from the people they were intended to be. If the experiment was successful, then coursers would recover them, and Nathaniel would have his wife back.

Alan wasn't thrilled with this, but he'd done as ordered, despite his reservations, hoping it wouldn't come back to haunt him.

This memo the Director spoke of now from Volkert was unusual though, and Alan was unsure why the physician would want to involve Father, unless the man was running some kind of medical experiment of his own, using her as a subject. He'd done it before, many times, and it always made Alan uncomfortable.

"I mean no offense by this, but I'm unaware of any programming issues since she left here," Alan replied. "If something is in error, then shouldn't it be Ayo's issue to handle?"

"If it was simply a matter of the psychological or recovery sort, then yes, I would simply have her wiped. But what I'm speaking of concerns her physical status. Doctor Volkert did a full work up after my father brought her back, to make sure everything was in proper working order, and that nothing detrimental from her time in the wasteland remained. Her blood work resulted in some very confusing, and extremely troubling data."

How was Alan supposed to explain any issue related to that? His area of involvement was relegated to design, not by products of being subjected to the wasteland above them.

The old man pinned him with a hard stare. "I'm referring specifically to the elevated level of hCG that Doctor Volkert found. I have no doubt that you understand why."

Alan blanched. Of course he understood.

"You know I would never overlook such a thing as that," Alan replied. He understood that the synths were too important to their survival to risk upsetting the balance over something so delicate, even if the possibility of it was intriguing. "My designs are carried out to the letter. Every detail, every nuance to my specification. If what you're suggesting is not just a mistaken calculation or a misread result, then I honestly have no clue how that happened, I assure you. If you'd care to see the logs and her creation data, I can certainly pull them up for you."

The Director agreed. "I believe that would be best. We need to find out what happened and prevent the mistake from ever occurring again. I'll send word to Doctor Volkert to terminate the problem with the proper medication once she wakes, and we'll deal with this mess after further review of your data." Father turned to go, then stopped, turning back to add, "You'll need to pull up the files on N4-73, too."

The Director's other personal project; the replica of his father - another test run in the wasteland.

"May I ask why?" Alan asked.

"Because N4 and L1 were confirmed to have copulated on more than one occasion. I'd like to know if this mess was due to an oversight involving that unit, as well, or if there is something else going on that we were unaware of."

Synths were a labor force. Meant to aid the Institute and carry out the above ground work that the scientists couldn't do for themselves. What the synths were not supposed to do, was be able to reproduce, because if that happened, the human population would be under attack. If this anomaly in the blood work was due to something a mistaken reading or such, all would fine. If it turned out to be true...

As he watched the Director exit his department, Alan was filled with a feeling he'd never before experienced. A foreboding, if you will. Something bad was coming, and no one in the Institute was going to escape its touch.

  
 

* * *

  
  
_Wrong_.

That was the first thought that skipped through her consciousness as she woke up.

The sounds were wrong, the air smelled wrong, and the feel of the soft sheets beneath her felt wrong.

Even before she opened her eyes, she knew that wherever she was... it was wrong.

Too crisp. Too clean. Too quiet. Not even background noise, just silence.

_Not supposed to be here._

Her eyes fluttered open, the pristine ceiling slowly coming into focus, and she had to squint for a minute to let her eyes adjust to the bright light. A flash from off to the side caught her attention, and she turned her head towards it.

A black panel was inset in the wall, dozens of red and orange lights covering it, set in small groups. A few were on and burning steadily, while others weren't lit up at all. A few blinked on and off. There were numbers above the groups, but she had no idea what they were for. Indecipherable to anyone unfamiliar with the meanings.

What was this place?

There was a hiss off to the other side and she turned her head toward it. A man walked in from another area, yellow doors sliding shut behind him. His aged and wrinkled face looked familiar, under the white hair and beard, but she couldn't say why.

"I'm glad to see you're finally awake," he said, his voice monotone and unfeeling. "You had us worried," he said, and pulled a chair closer to the glass partition that separated her from the main room and sat down, facing her.

She realized then, that it wasn't a simple screen, but the wall of a small room, with the same type of door that he'd just come through, closing her in. No way to open it from the inside.

_A windowed cage. A marionette stashed in a box, waiting to be dangled above a sterile, cold stage._

She sat up, twisting to the side to let her slippered feet hang down over the edge of the cot, and watched him.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, pulling one leg up over the other and resting them together, ankle to knee. "You suffered quite an injury."

She blinked at him, trying to decipher whether he was actually wanting her to respond, or if the question had merely been blithe observation guised in pleasantry.

"I realize that you are probably confused right now, wondering where you are, and what's happening; Who I am, and why you are here." He smiled, but there was no kindness in his expression, no hint of sincerity.

_Can't trust him. Masks and games. Trickery._

A snarl of disdain threatened to curl her lip, but she bridled all urges to portray her inner reactions.

"My name... is Shaun." His gold-green eyes studied her blank expression quietly.

_Shaun._

"Most people here call me Father," he continued after the brief pause, shading the title with a hint of inflection, as if testing her to see if she'd react to the information. "You don't remember it, but we've met before. Would you like to know why you're here?"

 _Yes._ She definitely would. And a few other things.

She nodded.

"You were made here, in the Institute, L1-15. You were created for a very special purpose. An experiment of sorts."

_Say what, now? Made? ...L1-15._

The door behind him opened and a little boy walked into the room. "Father?"

She stared at the boy, taking in his tawny hair and gold-green eyes. They could be related. His grandson, maybe.

"Yes, Shaun," the old man replied.

_Another Shaun?_

Senior and Junior, perhaps. Or something with more sophistication, as the surroundings seemed to suggest. Shaun the first and Shaun the third, maybe.

"Mister Mitchell wanted me to tell you that he's ready."

_Mitchell. Shaun and Mitchell. ...Shaun Mitchell?_

She looked back and forth between them, her heart surging into a sprint.

"Wonderful." The old man turned back to her and smiled that fake smile again. "We've planned something special for you. Would you like to come with me?"

 _Nope_.

Did she really have a choice?

"Come." He rose from the chair, not waiting for her to answer, and pushed a button on a panel outside the door. The partition slid open and he waited next to it. "Please," he motioned for her to approach him, "allow me to take you to your new quarters."

Did he always speak in such a condescending tone? Even the neutral statements came across as patronizing.

 _Dick_.

She slid off the cot and walked across the floor towards him, the soft sweater dress she wore caressing the bare skin of her legs, the silky threads tickling the skin above her knees. She wrapped her arms around herself in a hug of self comfort.

The desire to run blossomed inside her as she passed through the door and came to him, but she leashed it. There was more she needed to know first. For example, what they wanted from her, and why she felt like an empty vessel sitting on a display shelf.

"Hi there," the young boy greeted her, and she looked down at him. "I hope you like our surprise."

She blinked, then looked back up at the older man, who watched her curiously for a few seconds before turning to the boy and saying, "Forgive L1's silence. She's not fully aware of what's going on yet. She needs a bit of time to process, you see."

The excuse slipped easily from his mouth, reinforcing the cautionary feeling that whispered in her bones.

_A fork-tongued serpent. Deceiver._

The boy nodded and smiled, innocent and happy. "I'll help her," he said. "I can be her tour guide and take her to meet all the cool people."

"Perhaps tomorrow, Shaun. Today we need to let her adjust to her surroundings." He turned away and moved to the door, and the boy followed him.

The old man behaved as if he didn't fear her at all. As if he believed she wouldn't even dare to resist or harm him. Why would he trust her like that?

She moved after them, keeping a medium distance, her eyes scanning over everything that was in sight. They led her down a hallway - that was more a curving glass tube than a proper corridor - that led to another area which very much resembled the one they'd just left. And she got her answer.

Looking out the glass-walled hall, she could see a large, open space below. Some kind of transparent tube running up from the center. Water flowed to its center down tiny steps, pooling under the floor. Tall trees surrounded it, held in pots that barely contained the trunks. Where were the roots?

The layout of the area seemed simple, but with it's color scheme and fluid design, it felt very disorienting.

_Too easy to get turned around, if details were ignored. Focus on the differences. Panel placements and colors._

There was nowhere to run and no way she'd escape if she attacked him, as there were armed guards roaming all over the facility, their metallic and plastic faces empty of life, mechanical orbs scanning over her as they made their rounds, robotic voices confirming her presence was noted.

He stopped outside a room and lifted a hand to show her inside. "This way, please."

Young Shaun happily trotted into the room and began chatting at someone inside, excitedly telling them that she was awake.

She stepped inside and her eyes were pulled toward the tall figure that stood next the boy, and her body heartbeat faltered.

The man smiled at her, his golden brown eyes crinkling at the corners, but he didn't move.

Father put his hand between her shoulder blades as he stepped up beside her and urged her forward. "It's all right," he told her gently. "You don't have to be afraid."

_Not afraid. Confused. Angry. Tricked._

She let him push her forward, suddenly feeling far more out of place than she had upon waking. Maybe she was in a nightmare. She had to be. How could this be real?

The man ahead of her gave a shallow nod of encouragement, holding out a hand for her to take hold of. "Hello, Ell. I'm glad you're back. I've missed you."

Her eyes narrowed at him upon hearing those words, and her fingers curled into tight fists at her sides.

"Missed you, too," she breathed. Her punch was wickedly fast, catching him across his lower jaw, the force making him stumble backwards a few steps. Losing his balance and tripping over his foot, he fell back on his haunches with a shocked expression, palm cradling his mandible. "Now. Explain to me what the _hell_ is going on here!"    
   
   
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you care to know:  
> Eve doesn't seem to have a synth designation (internet searches turned up squat), so I guess she was never given one. I took it upon myself to fix that.  
> How? I used a LEET [converter](http://www.robertecker.com/hp/research/leet-converter.php?lang=en) and played with the info.  
> If interested, you can check out my [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/vertigox2vertigo) for the process I used to come up with designations for Ellis, Nate and Eve, as well as how I chose her recall code.


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I decided to not to drag this out, so I'm posting the last three chapters at once. (note copied to ch 43 &45 in case it's missed here).

The man that looked like Nate picked himself off the floor and rubbed his jaw. She expected him to be angry because she'd decked him, sent him to his ass and made him look weak in front of others. He merely gave her a one-sided grin as he stepped toward her.

"Haven't lost your nerve, I see. That's good. I've always admired your plu--"

"If you say pluckiness I swear by all that's holy, I _will_ punch you again," she growled. "Who the hell are you? Because I know you're not Nate."

He motioned her to a chair and asked her to take a seat, promising to explain it all to her. Then he turned to the boy and asked him to give them a little while to talk in private. The older Shaun ushered him outside, and after the door closed behind him, the man called Nate came back and took a seat near her.

"I know this is going to sound crazy, so I'll try to be as thorough as I can, so you'll understand." He sat at the edge of his seat, forearms braced on his strong thighs and his hands loosely clasped together.

Nate's _serious discussion_ pose, she noted. "Better make it quick," she replied. "My patience is running pretty thin right now."

"Let me start at the beginning. You see, I was released from the vault a few months before the time you were led to believe. I found my way to the Institute and have been living here ever since." At the drop of her confused brow, he expounded. "The man you thought was me, was a synth. N4-73. As the future Director of the Institute, it wasn't safe for me to go back out into the wasteland, so Shaun had a replacement made to carry out the test on my behalf."

"Future Director? Test?" she asked in a whisper.

He eased back in his seat and leaned slightly to the left, resting that arm on the side of the chair, his other hand dangling across his inner thigh. Then he told her about Nora - how he'd wanted to bring her back, but their efforts were thwarted. Then he told her about his second wife, how she'd been shot trying to keep Kellogg from taking Nate's son - and she sat there, stunned and... numb.

She attempted to deny his account, telling herself these were just more lies coming from the Institute, but deep down, she knew he was telling the truth. There had been slices of her past that she couldn't recall, but she'd always thought it was a ramification of being cryogenically frozen for over two centuries.

"Father" hadn't lied. _I'm truly a synth?!_

"I know this must be hard for you to understand," Nate said. "But I want you to know, I did all this so we could be a family. You, me and Shaun. I had to make sure you would be like the Ellis I remembered. If you weren't... If you didn't remember me or want to be with me, then it would have caused me more pain, and Shaun didn't want that."

Anger welled inside her, and her lips parted in a huff of disbelief, her fingers gripping the arms of the chair tighter as she fought against the compulsion to throw herself across the space between them and wrap her hands around his throat.

"Caused _you_ pain? What about my pain? What about the pain you caused all those people out there who'd come to care for the man they thought was you, and went to his burial? Did you ever stop to think about that?"

"Those people out there are not my concern. You and Shaun are all I care about right now. Well, aside from the Institute's survival."

"I assume because I'm sitting here now - with all the memories I've made since you had me baked up by your little lab rats - that I have responded  appropriately to this experiment of yours and passed with flying colors." When he nodded, she said, "Then you won't be surprised when I tell you that you can kiss my ass and take a fucking hike, because I'll be damned if I'm going to hide down here in your hole while my people suffer on the surface."

She pushed out of her chair and he rushed to his feet to stop her from leaving.

"You can't go, Ell. I need you."

"Need me? No," she shook her head. "What you need is a therapist, or maybe a lobotomy, because if you truly think I'd choose to live down here in this pit of self proclaimed righteousness, with all these phony, snobbish, selfish people, then you didn't know the real Ellis at all."

He grabbed her arm, his hand like a vice around it, pinching the flesh and squeezing the muscle of her bicep so hard that pain shot through it to her shoulder.

"Maybe I should have phrased that a little better, so let me make things clear for you. There's no choice here, Ell. You _will_ stay with me, and you _will_ be my wife. The only way you leave this place is with my permission, and I'm certainly not giving that."

She glared at him. "Well, then. Seeing as we're making our stances transparent, let me tell you something," and she shoved hard against his chest and pulled herself from his grasp, "since I apparently resemble your dead wife enough to think, behave, and feel the way she would have, then I feel it's my duty to inform you that Ellis Mitchell was never in love with you. She would have stayed with you out of duty, and because she cared. I, on the other hand, never loved you, and never will. _My_ Nate is dead, and you? _You're_ a fake that I want nothing to do with."

Golden brown orbs crinkled with anger, and his jaw clenched as he swallowed hard. "I think you better take a bit to rethink what you're saying, Ell. You're forgetting that I can have you deleted with a simple snap of my fingers."

"Fucking do it then!" she snapped. "Because that's the only way I'd ever stay here with you."

He glared at her, and she thought he might attack her, but he looked away out the window of the room. He was quiet a few moments, and she could see the skin of his face pale a bit as he reigned in his temper.

"It's him, isn't it? That's why you don't want to stay."

"Just because Nate was a synth doesn't mean I didn't care for him. I thought he was you. This entire sit--"

"I'm not talking about my stand-in," he barked. "I'm taking about that Brotherhood soldier that was with you when I came to pick you up."

 _Danse_.

She blinked, her throat tightening as her heart slammed with fear against her rib cage.

"He's not important. No one to me. This has nothing to do with him."

Nate glanced back at her, clearly not taking her word as truth. "The lady doth protest too much, methinks." He snorted, "We knew the two of you were working together, but I didn't know things had gone that far between you. But it doesn't matter any more. Imagine what he thinks of you now - a Paladin of the Brotherhood of Steel, learning the woman he's been traveling with is one of the very abominations he's vowed to exterminate."

 _He doesn't know about Danse's exile!_ Her chest flooded with relief. If they didn't know about it, then it meant he was fairly safe, as long as she could keep the Institute's focus off him - prevent them from focusing on him because of her and start digging for information.

"He's not going to want you back. Even if you could find a way out of here, which you won't," Nate said as he brushed past her and moved around the chair toward the door, "he'd likely shoot you on sight." The doors slid open and he turned to one side, telling the synth that stood there to watch her and not to let her leave. Turning back to face her Nate said, "Face it, Ell, you're home. Get used to it."

The doors hissed closed and she turned back to the window, walking to it to look out at the atrium below. There had to be a way out of this place. Nate - her Nate - had said he'd entered and exited through a teleporter, but that couldn't be the only way in or out, right? How had the scientists gotten there in the first place? And what if the relay malfunctioned? They'd need an emergency exit. Surely they wouldn't be stupid enough to destroy every other exit.

All she had to do was find someone who might tell her where it was.

 _If I can ever leave the room without being followed or watched._ That guard outside her door was going to be a problem.

The sound of the door sliding open again made her turn, and another older man walked in.

"L1-15," he said, "I have a few medications for you to take."

She faced him fully, not moving from her spot. "My name is Ellis. And you are?"

He looked down his nose at her as a he placed a tray on the tabletop to his right. "Your _name_ ," he scoffed. "The Director may have given approval for your creation, and Nathaniel Mitchell may be willing to overlook what you are and call you by his dead wife's name, but in here, to the rest of these people, you are nothing more than an organic machine. I won't pretend you're human, and you shouldn't either."

_Another bigoted asshole._

They always seemed to forget that there was almost no difference between them - humans being nothing more than organic machines themselves. Created in a womb, or created in a lab, their bodies functioned the same, their minds processed information the same way, and their emotions controlled them in the same manner. Denying it was merely an excuse, so they could treat others like slaves without feeling guilty.

He reached for a pitcher in the center of the table and filled a small cup.

"Come take these pills," he ordered.

She refused, flat out. "Fuck you."

He looked back up, scowling at her as his fingers lifted a tiny cup off the tray.

"You will come over here and take this medication, or I will be forced to call in the guards."

"Call them," she shrugged. "Because the only way I'm taking that shit is if you force it down my throat. I don't know you, or what that stuff is, and I'm certainly not taking it just because you tell me to."

"Fine," he snarled and turned toward the door.

As his mouth opened to call out, the floor vibrated under their feet and he gasped. A muffled explosion sounded from somewhere far below them, and the entire room shook, the window behind her rattling. She turned to look out and down, seeing blue streaks of Institute laser weapons being shot across the lower level.

The man behind her muttered something, and dropped the cup on the tray to disappear out the door.

Then she heard it. Gunfire. Real gunfire. What the hell? The Institute didn't use ballistic weapons - that was a wasteland thing.

Had they kidnapped someone who was armed?

She rushed to the door, slowing as it slid open. Peeking out, she saw guards rushing off down the stairs and along the hallway going in the opposite direction from her room. The hall outside was empty, the guard posted at her door likely gone to assist with the proceedings downstairs.

This might be her only chance to escape.

She stepped out into the hall and turned toward the stairs. First she needed to find a way to blend in. Her white sweater dress and flats weren't exactly standard dress code judging by all the lab coats and jumpsuits she'd seen thus far.

On the floor below, she caught sight of what appeared to be a board room. Through the open door, she saw a white uniform and dashed inside. Lifting it off its hook, she slid into it, pulling the dress over her head and tossing it in a corner. Zipping up the suit, she spotted a pair of boots nearby and exchanged footwear. A little tight, but they'd work for the time being.

_Now, where would be the best place for an exit?_

Probably through one of the outer areas. But which one?

As she exited the room an alarm sounded, and a voice came over a speaker system, the sweet, southern drawl halting her in her tracks.

"Attention all personnel and citizens of the Institute. This message is being delivered to you by the Commonwealth Minutemen. Lay down your weapons and surrender, and you will not be harmed."

_Sturges? Sturges!_

If the handyman was there, that meant Preston had to be around somewhere, too. But how? And why?

Dashing off down the stairs, her new mission was to find the Minuteman, and then get the hell out of Dodge.

As she neared the lower level the sound of battle grew louder, and as she reached the bottom floor she saw a pair of synths ahead of her, firing their pistols at a small group that was fighting its way across the central cavity. Running up behind the nearest one, she threw her arm around its neck and pulled it backwards, wrenching it sideways as she yanked it downward, and the energy blast from its gun zapped outward and wildly to the side, catching the synth nearby across its torso and knocking it off its feet.

Wrenching the weapon from her opponents grasp, she turned it on him and pulled the trigger. Blue turned black as it scorched the front of his chest, and its robotic voice signaled its demise. _Unit critically damaged - repairs impossible. S_ _hutting down._

She whirled to face the other, and shot him as he pushed to stand, knocking him back down and sending him sliding across the floor a bit. His armor was preventing a clean shot. She needed to get closer.

And then she heard it. Faint at first, but clear. A man calling her name, and her head turned toward it.

_Danse?_

 


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I decided to not to drag this out, so I'm posting the last three chapters at once. (note copied to ch 43 &44 in case it's missed here).

Could he really be there? After learning what she was, he'd still come for her? Why?

A blue blast of energy flashed across her vision, and she turned back to the synth on the floor. Just as she took aim, a bullet smashed through its exposed head, and the lights in its orbs flickered and turned off, and it fell back.

"Ellis!"

She turned, and he was there, gun in hand and brown eyes filled with relief. She didn't even have time to react before he slung an arm around her and guided her out of the line of fire. He pushed her down behind a glass partition that connected one area to another, and ran his hands over her face.

"I can't belie--" He looked over her face questioningly. "Are you really-- Do you... know who I am?" he asked warily, worry clearly exhibited on every feature.

She smiled, assuring him that she hadn't forgotten him. "I'm still here. And I'd never forget you, Danse."

"Thank God," he breathed, and pressed his forehead to hers. "That's one concern I can check off the list."

She didn't know what he meant by that, but it didn't sound good, exactly. It would have to wait for an explanation though, because they were still in the midst of a gunfight.

Movement behind him caught her attention, and she shoved him hard to the left, lifting her pilfered weapon and squeezing the trigger. The target screamed out and took off running for cover elsewhere.

"Come on," she said, standing to leave. "Let's get out of here."

"We can't," he replied, pushing to his feet after her, and grabbing her wrist to hold her back. "The Minutemen are taking over."

"Taking over? As in destroy?"

"No, but I'll let Preston explain all that. Come on," and he held out his hand.

Ellis slipped her hand into his, a certain serenity passing through her as his warm fingers wrapped around to lock their palms together, and he led the way back towards the majority of Minutemen fighters.

Dare she hope that he might still love her after all, even knowing she was a synth? Or was that too much to hope for? It was one thing for him to know such a thing about himself and have feelings for a human, but knowing she was one of the very creatures he'd vowed to wipe out, might have changed his feelings about her.

_Time will tell._

As they rounded the outer wall towards a section marked by black lines on the floor, a door opened off to their left and Danse jerked to a halt as four figures came bursting out into the corridor.

"You surprise me, Paladin," Nate said as he held up a fist to stop the fighters behind him. "I didn't think a Brotherhood soldier would bother to look for her after learning the truth. You must really have some strong feelings for her. Should I ask how deep they run?"

"My feelings are none of your business," Danse replied, pushing Ellis behind him, and his rifle tipped up towards the group.

Nate's gaze followed the muzzle of Danse weapon and chuckled. "Don't be stupid," he warned. "You won't be able to take us all."

Danse's eyes bored into him. "That won't matter much to you. You'll be the first one I drop."

"And I'll take another," Ellis said, sliding around him to his left.

Nate's golden eyes slid to her. "Don't do this, Ell. Stay here with me and I'll protect you. You'll be happy here, I swear it."

"Heads up, Seven Up," someone said from behind the group, and Deacon moved up closer, easing off around the group. Then to Danse, he said, "Thought I asked you not to start trouble without me."

"I didn't go looking for it," Danse replied, and then a few Minutemen showed up to surround the Institute fighters.

"You'll regret this," Nate spit at Danse. "Do you have any idea what you're getting yourself into with her?"

Danse glanced over at Ellis, and their eyes met. "I've got a pretty good idea."

Color her shocked when he reached out and pulled her to him, covering her mouth with his, and there was no way in hell she was going to stop him.

Deacon made a cooing noise and said, "Awww, isn't that precious?" pulling laughs from all the Minutemen.

 

* * *

  
  
The sun was already up when Ellis's eyes fluttered open, and a grin spread over her face as she snuggled closer to her sleeping bedmate. Or, she'd thought he was sleeping. The warm hand that was suddenly stroking adventurous fingers up her thigh said otherwise.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Danse said, brown eyes opening to study her face.

"How long have you been awake?"

"About an hour or so, I think. Did you know you talk in your sleep?"

Heat filled her cheeks and she tucked her nose under his chin. "Oh? What did I say?"

Danse shifted them, rolling her onto her back and covering her with his solid body, one arm wrapping over the top of her head to stroke the loose strands of her hair while he supported himself with the other as he looked into her eyes.

"Let me see if I can make you repeat it while you're awake," he teased, and brushed a kiss to her lips.

He nuzzled her neck, gently letting his weight press down, his hand slipping over the flesh of her shoulder, down the outer curve of her breast to cup it. She gasped as his mouth settled over her nipple, flicking it with his tongue before nipping it with his teeth and suckling.

"Mmm," she moaned. "That's one hell of a reveille, Soldier Boy."

She felt him smile against her breast before moving on to copy his attention to the other.

"I'm not done yet," he murmured as he moved down her belly, and her pulse ticked faster as energy tingled over her skin.

"And what if I'm in a hurry to get the day started, hmm?" she baited playfully, running her fingers through his thick hair. "You know I have meetings to attend."

"Then," he nipped at her hip bone, making her flinch and chuckle as it tickled, "I think you're going to be late," and her laugh turned to shivers of excitement as he ran his tongue down the crease of her groin and slid his arms under her legs to lift them over his shoulders.

"I'm sure it will be well--" His tongue slid through her folds and sank inside her and she drew in a quick breath before puffing it back out to say, "worth it," and then moaning an _Oh God_ as his thumb flicked over her clit.

Within a few minutes she was crying out his name, and he chuckled as he lifted himself back over her.

"Yes, that's one of the things you said. Now, how about I make those perfect lips of yours say the other?"

"Jesus, Danse," she huffed, trying to catch her breath. "You keep this up and I'm gonna start to expect this as a regular morning routine."

He smiled and said, "That sounds ideal. And you know, whatever you need, I'll make it happen."

Ellis let her palms rub over his chest, lifting her head off the pillow to kiss across the muscular expanse, and he hummed in appreciation. Reaching down, she wrapped her hand around his cock, pulling a groan from him at the pressure of her fingers, as she urged him closer, pumping and squeezing him gently.

He supported himself, palms to either side of her ribs as she touched him to her core, and he took her lips in a keyed up kiss that set her on fire. In one stroke he was seated inside her, and he stilled to give her time to adjust. But Ellis was hungry for him, and she lifted her hips to signal him to move. His response was instant, drawing out slowly all the way to his tip and sliding back in, and Ellis moaned into his mouth.

"Don't feel like you have to be gentle, Danse," she said between kisses. "If you'll recall, I like it rougher sometimes."

She heard his breath falter at her words, but his actions remained unchanged. "And I don't mind that, but it means I can't last as long," he panted.

"Then just once in a while. For me," she told him as she watched him watching her breasts bounce with every thrust, and he growled before taking her mouth in another kiss. She reached down and drew his balls into her palm, gently rolling them with her fingers, and he sucked in a breath as he bucked harder in surprise. "Please, Ben. Make me come again," she begged.

Her attention to his balls took away all protest, and he thrust up into her so hard he scooted them a few inches toward the headboard, and her mouth fell open in a silent _Yes!_

Again and again he pounded their bodies together, and she clutched his arm with one hand while the other kneaded his scrotum like a pair of Baoding balls. He clamped his teeth and looked down at her, and suddenly his mouth dropped open, his eyes widening before immediately squeezing shut. His cock went rigid inside her, perfectly rubbing right across her little band of nerves, and they both cried out.

He lowered himself to his forearms and gave a few more weaker thrusts before dropping his forehead to her chest, breathing hard. "Well... that's a skill they don't teach in bootcamp." Ellis's skin flushed red and she covered her face with her hand until he looked back up and pulled it away to lock their fingers together, pushing their hands over her head. "And yes, that was what you requested of me while you slept," he informed her, his brown eyes twinkling with happiness.

"Such a cornball," she grinned, her cheeks warm and tight, but loving this side of him.

"I'd appreciate it if you kept that between us. Can't have everyone thinking I'm soft," he smiled, then kissed her lips and rolled off the mattress to find his clothes. "Come on, lazy bones. We can't lay around in bed all day."

Ellis moved to her knees and leaned out, smacking his ass cheek as he bent to lift up his pants.

"Keep it up, Soldier Boy..." she warned with a smile, and he turned to pull her into his arms.

"Or what?" he nuzzled their noses together. "You'll punish me?"

"Don't tempt me," she said, pushing away from him to find her things, "or we _will_ be here all day."

He chuckled as they made their way to the shower, and they ended up occupying the restroom for a half hour more before finally managing to get to their work, and Ellis couldn't have been happier.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, that's it for this rollercoaster, guys. Maybe someday I'll churn out another, but it will likely involve a different fandom, if I attempt it.  
> Thank you, everybody, for taking a chance on my crazy ride. I appreciate all the support you've given me on this adventure, and I'm gonna miss ya!
> 
> edit: I'll be adding a 46th chapter at some point in the future to wrap up the few little things I left hanging. It won't be anything that is detrimental to the story though, so if you miss it or just don't come back, it's no biggy.
> 
> edit (4 Feb 2019): I started another fanfic....surprise!....and same fandom. Couldn't get into another. So feel free to check it out and tell me what you think!


	46. Proof Positive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short scene to wrap up the important things I left hanging.

Ellis stood at the counter in the med bay, waiting for Knight-Captain Cade to read the results of the tests. Danse shifted nervously at her side and she reached over to take hold of his hand. Their fingers interlaced without hesitation and he looked over at her with a nervous smile. She could only imagine what kind of thoughts might be going through his head, but she didn't let on how worried she was. He needed her to be strong now. They both did.

She glanced over at Scribe Haylen, who stood off in the corner of the room, out of the way, holding the baby boy Ellis had given birth to just two months before. Everyone questioned the validity of it. She was a synth, after all. How could a synth reproduce? It was a fact though. The information Sturges and Deacon had brought back from the Institute proved it was true. No one could explain it, not even the Institute scientist who had brought her to life.

But the big questions were about to be answered.

Cade turned to face them, opening a file folder and flipping through the pages.

"Danse, your tests have all confirmed that you are a perfect match to the DNA they had on file for M7-97." He looked up with a frown. They all knew what that meant. Danse was a synth, and Kells wouldn't allow him to return to the Brotherhood. "I'm sorry."

Danse's fingers tightened against hers, and Ellis squeezed back gently, letting him know that she was there for him if and when he wanted to talk. He nodded to Cade and moved on.

"And the results for Toby?"

"Ah, of course," Cade looked back to his folder and flipped a few more pages. "Here it is. I must say, these paternity results have the entire medical team baffled. Synths having offspring was not supposed to be possible, but this little boy surely proves all of our prior beliefs completely incorrect."

Danse absentmindedly tugged lightly at Ellis's hand, and she could tell he just wanted to know what they were all wondering.

"Who is the father, Knight-Captain?" she asked for them, as if she didn't already have a clue. Those big eyes, and the thick tufts of hair looked far too familiar for her assumption to be wrong, but Danse had wanted to be sure.

Haylen looked up from cooing at Toby and the three waited for Cade to answer. Ellis knew it really didn't matter to Danse if he was biologically Toby's father or not. He already loved the boy, and nothing was going to change that. Still, if Toby was his, it was just one more thing Danse could be proud of, and one more link to his connection to humanity.

"Two separate tests were done to confirm, and the results are..." Cade looked up at Danse, "astounding. Congratulations, Danse, Toby is definitely your son."

Danse pulled Ellis into his side, a huge smile on his face, his head dropping to paste a sweet kiss on her lips before turning toward their son and lifting the boy into his arms.

"I guess there really is no denying that head of black hair now, huh?" he grinned, and Toby blinked at him several times before shutting his eyes to fall sleep. Danse looked over at Ellis, his voice gentle and happy. "So you got what you always wanted."

She smiled at that. Yes, she had a real family now. She'd been worried Danse would change his mind about being a part of her life once he knew the truth, but not only did he tell her every day how much he loved her, he showed her simply by being there for her at every turn, promising that he'd never abandon her for what she was. Now that his own identity was confirmed, it actually made everything easier, in her opinion.

"Let's go home," she told him.

He nodded, smiling at her with twinkling eyes. "You and Toby are stuck with me now. I love you, Ellis. Both of you." 

"We love you, too."

She smiled and took his hand when he reached out for her, the beginning of a whole new life. Together.


End file.
